Great Expectations

3sxzmd

Ironic That She Wants A RACE Car

| Barrie, ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Bigotry, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Top

(I work at a fast food establishment that gives out toys with their kids meals. This particular month, we have dolls, or toy cars. There are four dolls in the set; two are white, one is Asian, and one is black. On this day, we only have the black doll in stock.)

Customer: “Excuse me, I’d like a different doll, please.”

Me: “Sorry, those are the only dolls we have available right now.”

Customer: “Are you sure? I can see one right there.”

(The customer points to the toy display case.)

Me: “Those are for display only, sorry.”

Customer: “Open your f****** case, and get me another doll! I don’t want my daughter playing with some n***** doll!”

Me: “I’m sorry; we really don’t have any other doll. If you like, hang on to it, and come back next week when we get our new toys. You can switch it then.”

Customer: “Not good enough; I want a manager!”

(I go into the back, and explain to a black staffer—who happens to be built like a tank—what is happening. I ask him to go up front and pretend to be the manager.)

Coworker: “My employee explained the situation. What would you like me to do about it?”

Customer: *turns red and looks completely terrified* “I’d like to switch this for a car, please?”

Using Her Outside Voice

, | USA | At The Checkout, Rude & Risque, Top

(It is very early in the morning, and most of our customers are elderly folks coming in to drink coffee and socialize. A very sweet older customer comes to my register.)

Me: “Good morning, ma’am! How are you today?”

Customer: “My aren’t you chipper in the morning! I’m doing pretty good this morning dear; how are you today?”

Me: “I’m just great; thank you for asking. How can I help you this morning, ma’am?”

Customer: “Well I’m not too hungry just yet, so I think I will just have one small coffee for now.”

(I ring her in, and tell her the total. She begins slowly taking coins out of her purse, so I turn to make her coffee. I can hear her mumbling to herself. I assume she is counting, until I return with her coffee only to catch the tail end of a string of obscenities.)

Customer: “D*** f****** dime! Where the f****** h*** is a penny! Stupid little b******!”

(I am dumbstruck as the sweet little lady continues to mumble to herself while counting out her change. Finally, she finishes counting and she notices the look on my face.)

Customer: “Oh my, I wasn’t speaking out loud again, was I?”

(I nod slowly.)

Customer: “Oh, goodness! I’m sorry you had to hear that! I wasn’t saying anything bad about you; you’re such a sweet girl. It’s just I’m so d*** old and I can’t f****** see. It’s just so frustrating! Well, have a great morning dear!”

Clever And Original

Meme1

He Must Be Baked

| NY, USA | Extra Stupid, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

(I am with my family at a Chinese restaurant. My father has kept the waitress at our table for at least five minutes, trying to order what he wants. He is mostly speaking about the food itself, and then moving on. He finally thinks of something he wants.)

Father: “Oh. I’ll have the salty fried pork with pepper. Do you have that?”

Waitress: “No, but we have similar.”

(My brother slides the menu to our father, and points at the baked salted pork.)

Waitress: “You’ll have that?”

Brother: “Yes, he will.”

Father: “Wait, so not peppered?”

Waitress: “No pepper.”

Father: “Oh, okay, so it’s salty fried pork. I’ll have that.”

Waitress: “It’s salted baked pork.”

Father: “Yes, yes, I understand, but it’s fried right?”

Waitress: “Baked.”

Father: “Fried?”

Waitress: “Baked.”

Father: “Fried?”

Waitress: “Baked.”

Father: “Fried?”

Waitress: “Baked.”

Father: “Fried?”

Waitress: “Yes.”

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