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    The Boss-tomer Is Always Right

    | Vancouver, BC, Canada | Technology, Top

    (I am overhearing a heated argument between a very rude customer and my manager.)

    Customer: “This game isn’t working like it’s supposed to. I demand a full refund!”

    Manager: “Once again, sir, the packaging’s already been opened. I’m afraid there’s not much I can do. If you had read the packaging before opening it, you would have known that this game would not be compatible with your system.”

    Customer: “That’s a lie! You are lying to me! This game is d*** well compatible. This one is just defective!”

    (I walk over to where my manager and the customer is. Much to my horror, I am met with a very unpleasant surprise: the customer is actually my boss at my second job.)

    Customer: “Hey! [my name]! Help me out here! This guy clearly doesn’t know what he’s talking about.”

    Me: “Well, [boss], why don’t you explain to me your side of the story, since I just joined in?”

    Customer: “I tried to run this game on my girlfriend’s laptop and it won’t work. Now this guy over here is trying to tell me that it isn’t supposed to work!”

    Me: “Um, well, he’s right. That game isn’t compatible with computers. This is an Xbox 360 game.”

    Customer: “Aww, for Christ’s sake, not you too! My girlfriend’s laptop runs Windows. Windows is Microsoft. Xbox is also Microsoft.”

    Me: “No, I’m afraid it doesn’t work that way. If it did, that would defeat the purpose of having two separate products.”

    Customer: “Don’t give me that bulls***! I want my money back now!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but you really should’ve asked an employee before you bought that game, or at least read the back of the box. We can’t take back opened products.”

    Customer: “You really gonna talk to me like that? Well, fine! You better start working here full-time now, because as of now, your a** is fired from MY shop!”

    (My now ex-boss takes his game and angrily leaves the store. What does he do for a living? He’s the owner of a retail shop and his return policy is much more strict than ours.)

    Sometimes, More Really Is More

    | Sacramento, CA, USA | Money

    (A customer comes in asking for a quote.)

    Customer: “Hi, how much will it cost for 600 single-sided flyers?”

    Me: “That’d be [price].”

    Customer: “Okay, and how much for 600 single-sided flyers plus 100 double-sided ones?”

    Me: “That’d be [higher price].”

    Customer: “What?! How’d you come up with [higher price]?!”

    Me: “You have more copies than [lower price], so it costs more.”

    Customer: “I don’t think you understand! I want 600 of these AND 100 of these!”

    Me: “It’s still [higher price]. You’re adding more printing to your order. That’s going to make the price higher.”

    Customer: “No! Never mind. I’ll come back later and ask someone else!”

    Aisle Always Need Directions, Part 2

    | Ontario, Canada |

    (Our store credit card has recently changed banks it affiliates with, so everyone with our store credit card was given notice on every bill for a few months before they received their new cards.)

    Customer: “Yeah, I got a new credit card in the mail.” *tosses his card on the counter*

    Me: “Yes, we changed banks. If you had a balance on your previous card, it will just have transferred over to this one.”

    Customer: “But it has a company name on it and we don’t own this company anymore.”

    Me: “Oh, so you want to change the information that’s on the card?”

    Customer: “I don’t know, you tell me.”

    Me: “Um, well, I don’t know. I can’t really tell you what to do with your card–”

    Customer: “But we don’t own this business anymore!”

    Me: “So, do you want to call the credit card company and get them to change it to a personal account?”

    Customer: “I don’t know! Why aren’t you telling me what to do?!”

    Me: “I’m not really sure what you want me to tell you.”

    Coworker: *stepping in after overhearing* “You have to go home and think about what you want. Then when you make up your mind, call the 1-800 number on the back of the card and tell them what you want to do with your card.”

    Customer: “Okay!” *leaves happy*

    Related:
    Asile Always Need Directions

    Thar She ISOs

    | Hollywood, FL, USAUSA | Criminal/Illegal

    Customer: “You guys buy games, right?”

    Me: “That’s right.”

    Customer: “Any games, right?”

    Me: “Unless we have several of them in stock, or they’re in very poor condition, yes.”

    Customer: “So, you’ll take any games as long as there’s no scratches and you don’t have a bunch of them, right?”

    Me: “Correct.”

    Customer: “Okay, good! I’ve got 20 games here that I wanna sell.”

    (The man opens the shoebox he’s been carrying and starts to unload a number of discs onto the counter.)

    Me: “Uh, sir…I can’t take these games.”

    Customer: “Why not? You just said you could!”

    Me: “Because they’re illegally copied games.”

    Customer: “But you said you’d take them!”

    Me: “Not if they’re DVD-Rs with the names written in Sharpie!”

    Choose Your Own Misadventures

    | Toronto, Ontario, Canada | Bizarre

    (A woman walks up to the register with four pages out of four different books: a Grisham, a Kinsella, a King and a Straub.)

    Me: “Did you find these pages loose?”

    Customer: “No, I ripped them out. I want to buy them for 10 cents per page. Is that okay?”

    Me: *shocked* “Um, no!”

    Customer: *turns and leaves the store*

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