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    Purchasing Blood Wine

    | Atlanta, GA, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Food & Drink, Underaged

    (I see two guys who appear to be in their early 20s approach a self-checkout machine with a case of alcohol. One of them appears to have some tissue in his nose. The other is acting nervous. Given the exchange of money between the two, I suspect a third party purchase.)

    Me: “Good evening, gentlemen. I’ll just need to see both of your IDs before I approve the sale.”

    (The customer with the item in his nose scowls and turns his nose up at me, revealing the dangling string of a tampon.)

    Customer: *angrily* “Why do you need to see his ID? I’m buying it.”

    Me: “Sir, it’s the law and store policy that I check the IDs of everyone in the party purchasing alcohol.”

    Customer: “I guess I’m not buying this then, since he’s under 21!”

    (He storms off, leaving alcohol on counter.)

    Customer at the next machine: “What the h*** was that? Did he really just try that? And with a tampon in his nose?”

    A Dogged Request, Part 2

    | OH, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Pets & Animals

    (I am a cashier at a pet store that has a grooming salon. The customer is a very snotty woman who has a ticket from the groomers to ring up.)

    Customer: “I have a complaint about the service!”

    Me: “I’m sorry to hear that. I can get a manager for you to speak to.”

    Customer: “I don’t want to speak to a manager.”

    Me: “Well, maybe I can help you. What seems to be the problem?”

    Customer: “I got this grooming and styling service for my Pomeranian, and the groomers asked if I’d like bows in her hair!”

    Me: “Okay. I’m not understanding what the problem is.”

    Customer: “I told them that would be alright. So I just got my dog back, and they did it all wrong. I don’t like the color of the ribbons they used. They’re ugly.”

    Me: “They used a different color than what you specified? Did you ask them to use different ones?”

    Customer: “No, I didn’t ask for any other color. I just don’t like them.”

    Me: “Oh, well I’m sorry about that. I hope you have a nice day.” *continues to ring her up*

    Customer: “Wait a minute, aren’t you going to do something?”

    Me: “Well, if you don’t like the color, I’m sure the groomer will be happy to let you pick out different ribbons.”

    Customer: “I don’t want to.”

    Me: “If they’re that ugly you could always just remove them.”

    Customer: “I don’t want to do that. I want you to do something about it.”

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m just the cashier. The employees in the salon would be able to help you.”

    Customer: “I don’t want to talk to them. They are the ones who messed up. Why can’t you do something?”

    Me: “I’m just a lowly cashier. A manager might be able to arrange a solution for you.”

    Customer: “I already told you, I don’t want to talk to a manager!”

    (The line is getting backed up, and other customers are grumbling.)

    Me: “I don’t know what you expect me to do to help you. I’ve offered solutions. You don’t want the issue to be corrected. You don’t want to talk to anyone in the correct department. You just want me to do ‘something’. Why are you complaining to the cashier but refuse to talk to anyone else?”

    Customer: “Well… I don’t think I should have to pay for this! I think I should at least get a discount!”

    Me: “I see, so you’re complaining to me because I’m running the register, and you don’t want the problem corrected because you want something for nothing. Sorry, but you’ve received an $80 grooming, styling and nail cutting service. The ribbons are complimentary and not included. You already got them for free.”

    Customer: *flustered* “I… how dare you try to accuse a paying customer? This is slander! You should be fired for speaking to me that way! I want to speak to your manager!”

    (Just then, another customer in line behind her speaks up.)

    Customer In Line: “No, you didn’t want to speak to a manager, remember?! Why don’t you let actual paying customers, who aren’t trying to rip this place off, buy our stuff and go home?”

    Customer: “Are you going to let him verbally attack me like that? I demand you do something!”

    Me: “Okay, that’s it! I’m calling the manager…”

    (When the manager comes out and listens to her story, the other customer makes sure he hears my side. The manager asks one of the groomers if the woman had complained or asked for different ribbons. According to the groomer, the customer had told them everything was fine and the dog looked great. In the end, the customer is escorted aside to pay like a delinquent, while hanging her head in humiliation the whole time.)

    Related:
    A Dogged Request

    If You Don’t Mind

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    Cold Call From Work

    | TX, USA | Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Food & Drink, Top

    (I am training a new 17-year-old girl. I am going slow and steady, trying to teach her the right way to do everything. Two female customers come in. One orders a drink made with caffeine-free citrus soda and sherbet. I start explaining and showing the trainee what to do.)

    Me: *quietly to the trainee* “Okay, use two scoops for a small and three for a large, then fill it to here with soda. I personally think these are gross, but they’re really popular, especially with kids.”

    Customer: “It’s not gross! If you ever tried it, you’d know it wasn’t gross!”

    Me: “I’m sorry; I didn’t even realize you could hear me. I just don’t personally like them, but I know plenty of people who do.”

    Customer: “You have to take that back! I’m the customer, so I’m right! You’re the rudest f****** b**** I’ve ever seen!”

    Me: “Okay. I’m sorry that I don’t personally like the same drink that you do.”

    Customer: “I need to talk to your manager right now!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m the senior employee working right now. My manager is at home with her daughter. I can take down your information and have her call you wh—”

    Customer: “No! Call her right now! I need to talk to her and tell her what a rude b**** you’ve been!”

    Me: *while dialing the phone* “Just to clarify: you want me to interrupt my manager’s family dinner, so you can inform her that I don’t like soda and sherbet mixed together, yes?”

    Customer: “Yes! Call her right now! I’ll get your a** fired!”

    (I explain the situation on the phone to my manager.)

    Manager: “So, what exactly does she want me to do?”

    Me: “I think she wants you to fire me… for not liking sherbet.”

    Manager: “Oh, lord. Just give her the phone.”

    (The trainee and I stand there while the customer yells on the phone at my manager. My poor trainee is just dumbfounded. Eventually my manager convinces the woman to leave and asks her to not come back, as insulting her employees is not acceptable. The woman and her friend leave, and my new co-worker and I breathe a sigh of relief. The customer storms back into the shop.)

    Customer: “Oh! And you know what’s f****** gross? Your face!”

    (She leaves, and I start laughing uncontrollably.)

    Trainee: “Did that just f****** happen?”

    Me: “Welcome to life in customer service!”

    I Yam Not Impressed

    | New Zealand | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    Customer: “Don’t put the apples in the bag with the potatoes! They’ll get bruised!”

    Me: “The apples are in top, ma’am.They won’t get bruised.”

    Customer: “But the potatoes are heavy; they’ll bruise the apples! Geez, don’t you know anything!?”

    (I put the apples in a separate bag. I’m careful not to put anything in with the potatoes, as they might get bruised. The other bags are pretty full, and the last item is a bag of loose lettuce.)

    Me: “Would you like this in a separate bag?”

    Customer: “No, that can go on top of the potatoes. There’s plenty of space.”

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