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    Hair Unapparent

    | Saskatchewan, Canada | Food & Drink, Top

    (I am delivering pizzas to a hotel room in the early evening. I am a guy in my mid-20s with exceptionally long hair. The customer’s name on the bill is “Katie”. After knocking on the door, I hear someone approach it, but they don’t open the door. Instead, I sense them looking through the peephole, which is followed by some loud whispering.)

    Voice #1: “Guys, it’s a chick!”

    Voice #2: “Are you sure?”

    Voice #1: “Yes!”

    Voice #3: “Dude! Is she hot?”

    Voice #1: “I can’t tell. What do I do?”

    Voice #3: “Dude, take off your shirt!”

    (For the next few moments I hear a lot of shuffling noises. Finally, the door opens, and what do I see? Three scrawny, dorky-looking, and shirtless teenage boys, completely bewildered to see that I am not, in fact, a girl.)

    Me: “Sorry to disappoint you. Now, which one of you is Katie?”

    Related:
    Hair Apparent

    Sometimes, This Job Really Blows

    | Colorado, USA | Extra Stupid, Health & Body

    (I work as a drug tester for state agencies. Most people come in for breathalyzers. Our machine though does not stop on its own and I have to tell people when to stop blowing. A new client has just come in and is doing his blood alcohol.)

    Me: “…and stop blowing.”

    (The client doesn’t stop, but keeps blowing until the machine gives a system error.)

    Me: “Okay, let’s try one more time…” *client blows* “…and stop.”

    (Again, the client doesn’t stop, which causes a system error again. This goes on ELEVEN more times, with me explaining repeatedly that he needs to stop when I tell him to.)

    Client: “What the F***! Why won’t this f***ing thing work?!”

    Me: “As I’ve explained multiple times, you have to stop when I say or it won’t work.”

    Client: “I don’t like people telling me what to do!”

    Team Awkward

    | Sydney, Australia | Family & Kids

    (I am a customer in line behind a middle-aged woman who is buying a DVD. She’s been very nervous throughout the whole transaction.)

    Customer: “Oh, dear…I will have to hide this DVD when I get home!”

    Cashier: “Oh really? Why?”

    Customer: “My children don’t like this movie. I will have to watch it when they’re not home. I’m gonna have to hide it somewhere!” *leaves*

    Coworker: “What was she buying?”

    Cashier:Twilight.”

    Urine Need Of Training Yourself

    | Short Hills, NJ, USA | Family & Kids, Health & Body, Top

    (Our store is in a shopping mall, so we don’t have public restrooms like most of our chain locations. Since the mall has restrooms conveniently located across the hall, we usually don’t have any problems. This day, a customer runs into our store holding her three-year-old son’s hand.)

    Customer: “Where’s your bathroom?”

    Me: “We actually don’t have one, but there’s one right over—”

    Customer: “What do you mean you don’t have a bathroom? My son needs to go immediately!”

    Me: “There’s a public restroom right across the hall over there.”

    Customer: “I don’t have time to get him over there! I need you to let us use yours!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, I can’t do that. But really, the restroom is right across the hall—”

    Customer: “MY SON IS ABOUT TO PEE HIS PANTS! He’s still being potty trained and can’t hold it for very long!”

    (To my surprise, another customer who has overheard the conversation speaks in our defense.)

    Another Customer: “Are you crazy, lady? There’s a bathroom not thirty feet away! You’re going to let your poor son wet himself so you can argue with this man? You should be ashamed of yourself!”

    Oh, The Inhumanity

    | Boston, MA, USA |

    Customer: *looks at my name tag* “Hmm…’Karen’. I didn’t realize you guys had names.”

    (I assume the customer means he didn’t realize we have name tags.)

    Me: “Oh, yeah…we always have name tags in case you ever need to ask for us.”

    Customer: “No, I didn’t know all you people who worked here had names. It’s neat!”

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