Customer: “Can I have a ham and cheese sandwich please?”
Me: “Would you like that on white or brown bread?”
Customer: “I don’t mind. I’m not prejudiced.”
Me: “You’re not… prejudiced?”
Customer: “Not at all, sure the other day I ate some ‘properdoms’!” (That’s how she pronounced papadums – the flat crunchy bread you get in Indian restaurants.) “They were lovely.”
Me: “Oh good. Now what type of bread would you like?”
(At this point a woman of another ethnicity that had been served by my co-worker leaves. Suddenly, this customer becomes visibly relieved.)
Customer: “Give me some good, God-fearing white bread!”
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2,743 Thumbs Up!)
(I overhear a group of teenagers talking while looking at the penguin exhibit.)
Teenager 1: “What exactly is a penguin?”
Teenager 2: “Are you that stupid? A penguin is a fish!”
Teenager 2: “No. A penguin is an amphibian. You know, like frogs.”
Teenager 1: “You know guys I think penguins are mammals, because they got fur. ”
Me: *addressing everybody at exhibit* “The penguin is a unique bird that can ‘fly’ in the water.”
Teenager 2: *after looking at his friends in awe* “I still think it’s a fish.”
Related:
Early Bird Brained
Bird Brained
Bird Brained, Part 2
Bird Brained, Part 3
Bird Brained, Part 4
Bird Brained, Part 5
Bird Brained, Part 6
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1,633 Thumbs Up!)
Customer: “Do you have [popular album]?”
Me: “Yep. It’s right over here.”
Customer: “That’s expensive.”
Me: “That’s pretty average”
Customer: “I bet [competitor] is cheaper.”
Me: “I doubt it. We are usually a fair bit cheaper than them.”
Customer: “I don’t know. I bet they are cheaper.”
Me: “I don’t think they will be, but they are right upstairs if you want to take a peek and come back. You will see that we are cheaper.”
(The customer leaves and comes back 15 minutes later with our competitors bag.)
Me: “Oh, were they cheaper?”
Customer: “No, they were a lot more expensive. You should really stop recommending that place.”
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2,717 Thumbs Up!)
Customer: “I’d like one cappuccino.”
Me: “Oh, sorry, we’re out of coffee today.”
Customer: “That’s okay, I’d only like a cappuccino.”
Me: “The cappuccino has coffee in it.”
Customer: “Can’t you just make it without it?”
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1,285 Thumbs Up!)
Customer: *handing me a book* “Is this the Koran?”
Me: “No sir, this appears to be a book about Ojibwe singers.”
Customer: “The lady said it would be on aisle 6B.”
Me: “It is, but the Koran’s call number is 297. This book is listed under 264.”
*blank stare*
Me: “Let me try to help you find it.”
(Walking to aisle 6B, I notice that the book he grabbed is the first book on the aisle, at eye level.)
Me: “Sir, did you just walk to aisle 6B and grab the first book you saw?”
Customer: “I couldn’t find it, so…yes.”
(He then find’s another book on the shelf.)
Customer: “Oh here it is! Would this be the best one?”
(The patron has picked up ‘The Complete Idiot’s Guide to the Koran’.)
(
2,928 Thumbs Up!)
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