(I am holding one of our Bearded Dragon Lizards for customers to pet.)

Customer: “Okay, so I know they’re Bearded Dragons, but what are they?”

Me: “They are Bearded Dragons.”

Customer: “I know that, but aren’t they a type of insect or something?”

Me: “No, ma’am. They are a type of reptile.”

Customer: “Oh. Are they related to the ones that breathe fire?”

Me: “Our records show you’ve never had a prescription filled here before, so I’ll need an ID and your insurance.”

Customer: “Here’s my ID. I don’t have my insurance on me, but it’s through [car insurance company].”

Me: “Sir, I think that’s your car insurance. Do you have health insurance?”

Customer: “You mean there’s more than one kind?”

(A 12-year-old boy, comes up to the counter, holding a gift card.)

Customer: “How much is this?”

Me: “As much or as little as you want on it.”

Customer: “But what does it do?”

Me: “You give it to people as gifts. It has money on it.”

Customer: “How much?”

Me: “Like I said, as much or as little as you want.”

Customer: “Can I get $10?”

Me: “Sure.”

(I ring up the gift card.)

Me: “That’ll be $10.”

(He hands me $1.35.)

Me: “This isn’t enough. I need $10.”

Customer: “I only have that.”

Me: “Then you can’t get the gift card.”

Customer: “But, you said I could do any amount!”

Related:
Not Exactly Gifted

Customer: “Can you turn this light off?” *points to the light hanging over the table*

Me: “I’m sorry, but all the lights are connected. I can take the bulb out, but I would need to get a towel because it’s hot.”

Customer: “Okay.”

(I return under a minute later with a towel to see the light off.)

Customer: “I took care of it.”

(After clearing the table, I see she broke the bulb and put the glass pieces in her salad.)

Customer: “My computer has fruit in it!”

Me: “Like what?”

Customer: “Every time I turn my computer on, it has a fruit in it.”

Me: “You mean an apple?”

Customer: “Yeah, I guess.”

Me: “That means you have that brand of computer. Do you need anything else, ma’am?”

Customer: “Well, I don’t really like apples. Can I get a cantaloupe on it instead?”