The Honesty Of The Thievery Pants

| Portland, OR, USA | Bad Behavior, Criminal/Illegal, Theme Of The Month

(A man comes in and starts looking through the clothes. He grabs a pair of pants, and starts fast-walking towards the door.)

Coworker: “Sir, are you going to pay for those?”

Man: “No.”

Coworker: “Sir, we really need you to pay for those.”

Man: “NO!”

Me: “Please, sir! We need those back!”

Man: “I need them more!”

(The man bolts out the door. We look at each other for a moment dumbfounded, then burst out laughing.)

The Booth And Nothing But The Booth

| USA | Food & Drink, Money

(I work at business that has a full service restaurant, as well as a grocery store/deli area. Customers often purchase food in the store, expecting to eat it in the restaurant as if it was a cafeteria and not a fine dining area.)

Customer: “Can I take this food from the deli and eat it over there at a booth?”

Me: “You certainly can; however, you would have to place the order through your server. They will plate it for you. This portion of the store is for carryout and grocery purchases only. If you speak to the hostess she’ll be happy to find you a seat.”

Customer: “But, I just want to eat this food over there!”

Me: “You definitely can; you just have to place your order with your server, and not with me.”

Customer: “Well, aren’t they going to just charge me more?!”

Me: “No, the prices are pretty much the same. Sometimes there’s a difference of a few cents, but we attempt to keep the prices in the restaurant as equivalent as we can to the store prices.”

Customer: “Oh, but they’re going to expect me to tip them if I sit in the restaurant, aren’t they?”

Me: “Well, yes, that is how servers earn their income.”

Customer: “WELCOME TO AMERICA!” *storms off*

Acting Like A Dog

| NC, USA | At The Checkout, Health & Body, Pets & Animals, Rude & Risque

Customer: “You’re a very pretty girl. How old are you?”

(I get flustered and blush as I finish the paperwork for his dog’s stay.)

Me: “Uh, thank you, sir. I just, uh, I just turned 21.”

Customer: “You’re still a little girl! I’ll be 40 this month. You know what that means: prostate exams. Do you know anything about prostate exams?”

(I am hurriedly finishing the paperwork.)

Me: “Your total is $235. Thank you for choosing our kennel. I hope Bruiser enjoyed his stay! He’s a sweetie; we would welcome him back anytime.”

Customer: “You didn’t answer my question. Do you know anything about prostate exams?”

(He winks at me.)

Me: “No, sir. I do not. How would you like to pay?”

(He leans over the counter.)

Customer: “A pretty little redhead like you? I’m sure you know a lot about a lot of things.”

Me: “I see you’ve previously used Visa. Would you like for us to charge the same card?”

Customer: “I’d like for you to answer my question, honey.”

(A coworker has overheard our interaction came to the front. He is approximately 6’3″ and solid muscle. His hair is also a brighter shade of red than mine.)

Coworker: “I heard somebody up here likes redheads.”

Customer: “I was talking to—”

Coworker: “I know who you were talking to, and if you do not stop talking to her, the only thing that will be up your a** is my foot. Now how would you like to pay, sir?”

(The customer promptly pays. The kennel owner received complaints about both my coworker and I, but she had also had incredibly creepy interactions with this client. She informed him that his business was no longer welcome.)

Being Nice Is Good For Your Health (Insurance)

| Tampa, FL, USA | Health & Body, Money, Top

(My insurance company is supposed to cover one physical per calendar year. However, I am surprised to receive a bill from my doctor’s office. With it is a letter from the insurance company stating that they will not cover because I’ve had two physicals in one year. Since I know this is not true, I decide to call.)

Customer Service Rep: “Hello, this is [name]; how can I help you?”

Me: “I’m calling to dispute a denied claim. My name is [name] and my birth date is [birthday].”

Customer Service Rep: “Okay, I’m looking at your information now. Looks like you were denied coverage because you had two physicals in one year, and we only cover one per year.”

Me: “Yes, I know that. But I didn’t have two in one year. I’m looking at my records and the appointments were a year and a day apart.”

Customer Service Rep: “Hmm. Let me look at that again. Okay, according to what your doctor sent us, your most recent appointment was December 6th, and last year’s was December 5th. Oh, that is over a year. I’m so sorry!”

Me: “No worries. So what happened?”

Customer Service Rep: “Looks like someone on our end entered this year’s appointment as December 4th, which caused the system to reject the claim. I will fix that and re-submit it for you. I am so sorry!”

Me: “Hey, it’s all right.”

Customer Service Rep: “I wish I knew who did that! I’m really sorry, it wasn’t me…”

Me: “I’m not blaming you. I used to work in retail, so I know how it feels to get yelled at by a customer for something that’s out of your control.”

Customer Service Rep: “Oh! You understand!”

Me: “The stories I could tell… so do I need to call my doctor or anything?”

Customer Service Rep: “Nope. I just resubmitted it with the correct dates. There shouldn’t be any more issues. Thank you for being so nice!”

She Nose What You’re Planning

| UK | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Liars & Scammers, Theme Of The Month, Top

(I am supervising the changing rooms. A woman calls out from a locked cubicle.)

Woman: “Excuse me! My daughter’s having a nosebleed in here; could you get me a tissue?”

Me: “I don’t have one on me, I’m afraid. Wait a moment; I’ll see if my colleague can bring you one.”

(I call out and wave to my colleague, but she’s busy and doesn’t see me.)

Woman: “Excuse me! I need one now! It’s your job to help me, so do your job and go get me a tissue!”

Me: “I’m not allowed to leave the changing rooms unattended. I’m trying to get one for you; just one moment…”

Woman: “That’s not good enough! I need one now! Do your job!”

(An older lady in another cubicle starts speaking loudly.)

Older Lady: “It’s not her job to look after your daughter. She clearly doesn’t have any tissue, so just go to the toilets yourself. She obviously can’t leave the room while there are people in here; for all she knows, you could be a shoplifter who’s just trying to distract her!”

(A few seconds later, the angry woman emerges from her cubicle. She throws all the clothes she was trying on at me, then storms out of the shop with her suspiciously blood-free daughter. I thank the older lady when she comes out, and congratulate her on being so worldly-wise!)

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