No ID, No Idea, Part 11

| Australia | At The Checkout, Bigotry, Geography, Money, Theme Of The Month

(An American customer approaches, and tries to pay with a card that isn’t his. It has a typically female name on it, and the signatures don’t match.)

Me: “I’m very sorry, but I don’t think this is your card. I can’t put through the sale.”

Customer: “It’s my girlfriend’s. She said I could use it.”

Me: “That might be so, but it’s illegal for me to finish the sale; I am sorry. Is your girlfriend in the store? She can come and sign for it.”

(I suggest this cheerfully, so that he knows I’m definitely not accusing him of having a stolen card. However, the customer instantly snaps and begins yelling.)

Customer: “YOU F****** AUSTRALIANS! I COME HERE FOR A HOLIDAY, AND YOU’RE ALL A BUNCH OF RACIST PRICKS! IF I WAS AUSTRALIAN, YOU’D F****** PROCESS IT! THIS S*** DOESN’T HAPPEN IN AMERICA! F*** YOU!”

(My manager, who happens to be nearby, decides to intervene.)

Manager: “Sir, that’s simply not true. It’s legislation to protect people from having their card stolen. We’re protecting your girlfriend’s money.”

Customer: “WHAT A LOAD OF S***. WELCOME TO F****** AUSTRALIA, HEY? F*** ALL OF YOU! F*** YOUR F****** COUNTRY! F****** AUSSIE RACIST C****!”

(He storms out of the store, leaving everyone speechless.)

Manager: “I wonder what he’ll do when he realises he left the card behind.”

Related:
No ID, No Idea, Part 10
No ID, No Idea, Part 9

Not The PIN-nacle Of Intelligence

| Athens, GA, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Language & Words, Money

(I have finished scanning the customer’s items at the register.)

Me: “Your total come to [price].”

(The customer pulls out a card to pay.)

Me: “What kind of card is it?”

Customer: “Debit.”

(I hit the debit key on my register. She proceeds to swipe it on her side, and I turn to finish bagging her groceries.)

Customer: “This thing isn’t working!”

(I turn back to see her holding the machine’s electronic pen, looking frustrated.)

Me: “I’m sorry; did it not read your card? These things get temperamental sometimes.”

Customer: “No, it read the card. But it’s not doing anything!”

Me: “Hmm. Well, what does the screen say?”

Customer: “It just says to enter my PIN.”

Me: “Well then, just enter your PIN, ma’am.”

Customer: “I did that twice, and it didn’t take it! It’s not working!”

(The customer proceeds to demonstrate, by WRITING her PIN on the screen with the pen.)

Me: “Um, no, ma’am. You use the buttons to type it in. The screen can’t read hand writing.”

I’ve Got That Drinking Feeling, Part 2

| Chicago, IL, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Money

(There is an annual bar crawl. The street is almost literally filled with people who can’t even stand. I am a customer waiting in line.)

Drunk Girl: “There… should be… more…”

(She is digging through her purse for cash.)

Drunk Girl: “Um…”

(The drunk girl hands the cashier her lighter and other various objects as she digs through her purse.)

Drunk Girl: “How much more do you need?”

Cashier: “$8.56.”

Drunk Girl: “Randy?”

(She starts looking around for her boyfriend, who has wandered off. Then she looks at me.)

Drunk Girl: “You’re not Randy… but can I owe you $8.56?”

(The cashier gives me a look of desperation. Seeing as this has been taking quite a long time, and I feel bad for the cashier, I take out my card to pay.)

Me: “Sure, add it together with my stuff.”

Drunk Girl: “Thank you!”

Me: “You’re welcome.”

(The drunk girl proceeds to just walk out of the store without her purse or groceries.)

Cashier & Me: “Miss! Your purse!”

(The cashier and I exchange looks.)

Me: “Good luck tonight.”

Cashier: “Thanks!”

Related:
I’ve Got That Drinking Feeling

He’s Not Taking Lying, Lying Down

| Norway | Bad Behavior, Liars & Scammers, Technology

(I work as a second line support, mostly dealing with emails from clients. One client is so nasty to my first line phone-support coworker, that she just cannot deal with him anymore. She begs me to take the call.)

Me: “Hi, this is [name]. I was told you had some questions about the legal binding of your contract, and therefore you were transferred to me. Would you please clarify what the issue is here?”

Client: “THIS F****** CHICK ON THE PHONE SAID THERE WOULD BE A F****** FEE IF I CHANGE MY PHONE PROVIDER! SHE’S F****** LYING! I WAS NEVER INFORMED THAT THIS—”

(He trails off and just screams profanities. I remain silent until he finally calms down.)

Client: “…um, hello?”

Me: “Yes, sir, I am still here. However, as we will not be able to resolve anything while you are screaming at me, I figured I’d wait until you were finished. Anyway, from what I’ve gathered, you are upset that cancelling your contract will result in a cancellation fee?”

Client: “YES! I already changed provider, and you guys sent me the bill! I WAS NOT INFORMED!”

Me: “Well, sir, did you receive your information text? It can sometimes be hard to get all the information from—”

Client: “I DID NOT GET A TEXT! I WAS NOT INFORMED!”

(I decide to pull up his actual contract, to check what information he actually received. I go quiet for a bit.)

Client: “…um, hello?”

Me: “Sir, I just pulled up your contract here. You are one of our few clients who actually got your contract from one of our sales reps, on paper. Normally, they are given electronically over email or text. But you got the full contract, complete with all the information about our terms, on paper. You wrote down your details yourself, and signed it. How were you not informed?”

Client: “It did not say there were a cancellation fee!”

Me: “Yes, it does. Right under where you put down the phone numbers you wanted the agreement for. Where it also says how long you have to stay with us before you can change provider without the fee.”

Client: “But… I didn’t agree with that!”

Me: “You filled out the contract, checked of the box that said you had read, understood, and agreed to our terms of agreement, and signed the document.”

Client: “But… I didn’t read the terms of agreement!”

Me: “But you signed that you did.”

Client: “Well… but… You people should know that I was lying! I AM NOT PAYING THIS STUPID BILL!” *hangs up*

A Noteworthy Customer

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