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    They’re Game To Play A Game To Win The Game

    | Cincinnati, OH, USA | Awesome Customers, Bizarre, Geeks Rule

    (A customer approaches me. She is holding a rather rare DS game.)

    Customer #1: “Hey, do you guys happen to have another copy of this game in stock?”

    Me: “No, sorry. It’s not too often that we come across this one. It’s quite the gem.”

    Customer #1: “D***. See, I want this game, but so does she.”

    (She motions to another customer, Customer #2, standing next to the game shelf.)

    Customer #1: “I guess we’ll have to settle this somehow.”

    Me: “Um… just don’t get violent, okay?”

    Customer #1: “Oh, we won’t!”

    (After a bit of talking, the two come over to the counter.)

    Customer #2: “Do you mind if we use your counter for a bit?”

    Me: “I guess so.”

    (The two customers stare at each other for a bit. Suddenly, they break into the most heated arm wrestling match I have ever witnessed in my life. Customer #1 barely struggles, and defeats Customer #2 very easily.)

    Customer #2: “What? How did you do that?”

    Customer #1: “I work in a kennel. Handling 100-pound dogs will give you a bit of arm strength!”

    (The defeated customer leaves the store. I ring Customer #1 out. After she leaves, I start talking to my coworker.)

    Me: “Dude. What just happened?”

    Coworker: “I have no f****** idea.”

    Customer Service

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    Expresso?

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    The Signal Is Strong With This One

    | UK | Geeks Rule, Movies & TV, Technology, Top

    Customer: “I’m looking for a Motorola Android phone.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. We don’t sell Motorola in this store. We do, however, have several different Android handsets you could take a look at.”

    (The customer dutifully looks over several Android phones, before turning to the me. He looks serious.)

    Customer: “These are not the ‘droids I’m looking for.”

    Wanted A Refund, But Scratch That

    | Brisbane, QLD, Australia | Criminal/Illegal, Liars & Scammers, Theme Of The Month

    (A familiar looking lady approaches the front counter, but I can’t remember where I’ve seen her before. She speaks briefly to a colleague that is manning the front counter, who comes over to me.)

    Colleague: “This lady wants to return this DVD because she claims it doesn’t work. Take a look at the disc.”

    (I take a look at the disc, and it is severely scratched.)

    Me: “Well, that’s clearly why it’s not working. Did she say she bought it like that?”

    Colleague: “Yeah. She said she opened it and the disc was already like that.”

    (All of our DVDs come with security seals which are unlocked when purchased, so I know this isn’t the case. I look at the DVD title in our system, and notice we have not sold any in the last four weeks. I remember this same customer has tried to return DVDs in the same condition before.)

    Me: “Hello, ma’am. How are you today? Now, were you the customer that was after a refund for this DVD?”

    Customer: “Yes, it doesn’t work.”

    Me: “Okay. Now did you have a receipt for it? That way I can clear up a few things.”

    Customer: “No, I don’t have a receipt! I didn’t think I’d need one!”

    Me: “Okay, that’s fine. Now when did you purchase this DVD?”

    Customer: “Last week! Why is this even an issue?”

    Me: “Well, I have just checked our records. It shows that we haven’t sold a copy of this DVD is over a month. So, either you’re lying to me, or you’ve stolen it. In either case, you are definitely not getting a refund, and I suggest you leave this store immediately. I’ll be sure to ring all neighbouring stores, informing them that you’re attempting to get a refund on a product that you may not have even bought. Is that all for today?”

    (The customer snatches the DVD, and runs out of the store. I ring the store closest to us. Two hours later, I receive a phone call saying they caught her, and she is wanted for 12 other charges!)

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