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  • You Just Got Served

    | Silkeborg, Denmark | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers

    (I used to work at a gas station, and regularly had to train new people. This happens on the first morning shift of my coworker. And elderly man comes in to buy some pastries. There are two other customers in the shop.)

    Coworker: “Good morning, how can I help you?”

    Customer #1: “I would like three of those.” *points at a pastry of which we only have two left*

    Coworker: “I am sorry, but I only have two left of those. Would you like another pastry instead to get the discount?”

    Customer #1: “There you go, talking! Just shut up and do your job!”

    Coworker: “I am sorry sir, but if you would just—”

    Customer #1: “SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! Do your job, b****!”

    (My coworker is now almost in tears, and I, having heard it all, step in.)

    Me: “Sir, you have to be polite! It is her first shift, and there is absolutely no need to be rude. We only have the cakes on display, and since there are just two of the pastries you want—”

    Customer #1: “Another one! Just shut up already! I am in a hurry!”

    (At that moment, the two customers who have been patiently waiting decide they have had enough and speak up.)

    Customer #2: “We don’t want people like you here. If you can’t be nice, get out!”

    Customer #3: “Yeah, just get out!”

    Customer #1: “What poor service!” *hurriedly leaves the shop with his pastries*

    R-E-S-P-E-C-T

    | Canada | Bigotry, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (I am the only female working in the parts department in our store. Note: at my previous job, I was involved in a violent fight against a male coworker who tried to assault me. They guy ended up at the hospital and no charges were pressed against me since I acted in self-defense. This story is well known by my current coworkers and my boss and I’m teased mercilessly about being a “man-beater.” This particular day, I’m training a new guy to work on the floor and I’m also acting as the shift supervisor since the department manager is off.)

    Customer: *to my coworker* “I need to find this.” *shows a trailer connector*

    Coworker: “It’s my first week here and I’m not sure if we carry this. However, let me ask my coworker here; she’ll tell me if we have some.”

    Customer: “Her? How can she know something about trailers? She’s a girl. Girls don’t know s*** about trailers!”

    Coworker: “Let me assure you, sir, she is the most knowledgeable employee we have here.”

    Customer: “Well, if she think she can do a man’s job, let’s ask her.”

    (I take a look at his connector.)

    Me: “I’m sorry sir, but we do not carry this kind of connector. I could order some, but it will take over two weeks before they come in. May I suggest you go over [trailer store] or [another trailer store]? Both are down the road. They are more specialized than us, and they’ll probably have one in stock.”

    Customer: *to my coworker* “I told you she’ll be useless.”

    Coworker: “Sir, I don’t know what she can tell you more. We don’t keep that kind of stuff in stock, and she suggested two other other store where they sell those kind of products. I think you’ve gotten all the help you need.”

    Customer: *suddenly starts screaming* “Why do you refuse to serve me?! I AM A MAN! I AM A CUSTOMER! I deserve RESPECT and OBEDIENCE! Now you will tell me where the f*** you keep those f***ing connectors!”

    Me: “Sir, I already told you; we do not carry them. Those other stores will happily sell one to you, but I can’t because I don’t have any on hand.”

    Customer: “You useless b****! Find me a manager with something between his legs so we can discuss man things between men!”

    Me: “I am the shift supervisor today, so you’ll have to deal with me. I’ll need you to remain polite or you’ll have to leave.”

    Customer: “Well, I will just stay behind you and get on your nerves! You’ll crack and resign from your job and find yourself a man that will teach you what is it to be a good woman! You’ll find a guy who will beat you into a submissive b****, like any good woman should be!”

    (I send my coworker, who is on the verge of tears, to call the store manager so we can remove the customer from the store.)

    Me: “Okay, sir, the store manager is on his way. I need to ask you to leave the property.”

    (At this point my coworker returns, saying the store manager has called the police and is coming as fast as he can. Meanwhile, the customer starts acting very aggressively toward me; he tries to push me and effectively prevents me from going anywhere. He then turns his attention on my coworker, who doesn’t want to leave me alone with this freak. I’m really fearing for our safety, so I drop down and catch the longest, heaviest draw bar I can find. I smile at my coworker and put on the best “death stare” I can do towards the customer.)

    Customer: *suddenly scared* “…What are you doing? Stop that! You’re scaring me, b****!”

    Me: *grinning but saying nothing*

    Customer: “What are you doing with the bar? Put it down! I am a man… I am the customer… I demand obedience and respect!” *to my coworker* “What the f*** is she doing?! Tell her to stop looking at me like that. She gives me the creeps!”

    Coworker: “I don’t know sir, but around here, she’s known as a ‘man-beater.’ That’s because she sent a man to the hospital… a man that was trying to assault her at her previous job.”

    Customer: “How could they let a crazy woman like this work in a store and deal with customers?!”

    Coworker: “Well, she’s pretty handy for customers like you.”

    Customer: *very frightened* “Um, I’ll just go now, okay? I’ll go to those other stores and see if they have any in stock.”

    (As the customer turns around and starts walking out, he walks directly into the store manager, who is a very tall and broad-shouldered guy.)

    Customer: *to store manager* “Your employees are crazy! Women shouldn’t beat men! It’s the other way around! You should break her and make her obedient and submissive, like any good woman!”

    Store Manager: “Get out of my store now, or I’ll lock you in my office with her!”

    (The customer starts heading towards the exit, but runs straight into two police officers who have just arrived.)

    Customer: *to the police officers* “You gotta protect me! She’s crazy! She’s a man-beater!”

    Police Officer #1: *sarcastically* “Get into our car. You’ll be safe there.”

    (The customer was arrested then and there, which was a good thing: it turned out he was wanted for multiple cases of domestic violence. After his arrest, several ex-girlfriends came out and testified against him, putting him away for good.)

    Time To Close The Books On This One

    | Livingston, NJ, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

    Me: “Thank you for calling [bookstore]. How may I help you?”

    Caller: “Hi, yes, I’m trying to reach your store in Short Hills but no one will answer the phone.”

    Me: “Oh… well, the location in Short Hills actually closed three years ago.”

    Caller: “No, I don’t think you know what I’m talking about. I mean the one in the mall.”

    Me: “Yes, that was our only location in Short Hills. It closed because the mall wanted to jack up the rent.”

    Caller: “That’s ridiculous! I go to that store all the time. The number I have isn’t working and I can’t find it listed anywhere, so I need you to give me the phone number.”

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry to tell you this, but the number isn’t working because that store no longer exists. You can’t find it listed for the same reason.”

    Caller: “I was there last week!”

    Me: “I… don’t think that’s possible. There isn’t even a bookstore in that mall anymore.”

    Caller: “Oh, you don’t know what you’re talking about. Get me the number or get me someone else who can!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I actually used to work at that location. It closed down, so I transferred to this store three years ago. Is there something I can help you find, other than the number for the Short Hills store?”

    Caller: “You know, the employees at the Short Hills store are going to be VERY upset that you’re saying this about them! I’m going to drive over there right now and tell them all about this!”

    (One hour later, my coworker answers the phone.)

    Coworker: “Thank you for calling—”

    Caller: “WHY IS THERE A CLOTHING STORE WHERE YOUR SHORT HILLS STORE USED TO BE?!”

    All That Glitters Is Not Old

    | Florida, USA | Family & Kids, Top

    (I’m working at a face painting booth at a local park. A gentleman in his 60s comes up with two small girls. They decide to get painted and hop into the chairs.)

    Me: “Sir, the designs they chose both come with optional glitter and lipstick. Is that okay?”

    Gentleman: “Absolutely, go all out! Glitter, lips, the works. Maybe this’ll teach Grandma not to leave the kids alone with Pop-Pop!”

    In The Wrong Place At The Right Time

    | PA, USA | Food & Drink

    (I’m busing tables at a small, family owned restaurant. There is another restaurant about fifteen minutes away with the same name, so we sometimes get mix ups. We are just started to slow down after a fairly busy dinner rush when I overhear the hostess talking to a customer.)

    Hostess: “Hi, welcome to [restaurant]. How may I help you?”

    Customer: “Yeah, I placed an order with you guys and I’m here to pick it up.”

    (The hostess checks but sees no order for her.)

    Hostess: “I’m not seeing any order under your name. Are you sure you didn’t accidentally call [other restaurant] instead?”

    Customer: “How DARE you accuse me of being that dumb? Of course I called here! You just can’t do your job right. Look in the back; I’m sure they have it!”

    (The hostess goes to the back waitress station but doesn’t find it. She decides to call the other restaurant, and, sure enough, they have her order.)

    Hostess: “Ma’am, I just called the other restaurant and they have your order. If you’d like, we can put your order in now but it won’t be done for another fifteen minutes.”

    Customer: “NO! I need my food now! Give me someone else’s. I have stuff to do!”

    Hostess: “I don’t know what to tell you, ma’am. You can either drive fifteen minutes to the other restaurant, or you can wait fifteen minutes and get it here.”

    Customer: “Hmph, fine! I guess I’ll wait, but this is the worst service I’ve ever had!”

    (As she waits, the customer stands at the counter while tapping her her foot and staring at her watch. When her food is finally finished, she tears it out of the hostess hands and storms out.)

    Customer: “I’M NEVER COMING TO THIS S***HOLE AGAIN!”

    Next Customer: *to the hostess* “…and we’re all very thankful for that!”

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