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    Some Days Start Off With A Bang

    | USA | Bizarre, Wild & Unruly

    (A man walks into our police department and approaches the dispatch counter.)

    Me: “Hello, how can I help you?”

    Man: “I was just at a yard sale and brought a nice wood trunk, but when I got it home I looked inside and it was full of dynamite. It looks old and unstable.”

    Me: “And where is it now?”

    Man: “It’s in the back of my truck.”

    Me: “Okay, and where is your truck?”

    Man: “Outside in your parking lot!”

    (And that is how our police department ended up getting evacuated for three hours. He parked, of all places, next to the supervisor’s brand new personal truck. Thankfully, it was found to be dummy training dynamite!)

    Hell Hath No Fury Like A Mother Scorned

    | Waterbury, CT, USA | Awesome Customers, Bigotry, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (We’re not too busy at the grocery store this night, but we still have a decent amount of customers. I have just finished a transaction for Customer #1, a lady no more then 5 feet tall who is carrying a small infant, when I notice that she has left her baby’s bottle on the counter.)

    Me: “Oh, Miss! Your baby bottle!”

    (My coworker, a young man, picks up the bottle and politely walks the few feet to give it to the woman.)

    Customer #1: “Thank you both so much!” *takes the bottle*

    (Out of nowhere, Customer #2, a man about 6 feet tall, starts screaming.)

    Customer #2: “Why the f*** are you catering to her! You’re a man! She is just a fat lazy b****!”

    (My coworker, a few other customers, and I stand in shock. Customer #1, however, calmly puts her grocery bag on the floor, places her infant in my coworker’s arms, and walks right up to Customer #2. With amazing speed, her hand shoots out and grabs his collar bone, and he drops to the floor in obvious pain.)

    Customer #1: “You wanna go?! Come on! This fat, lazy b**** will kick your a** all over this d*** store!”

    Customer #2: *meekly raises his arms in surrender*

    Customer #1: “Smart decision!” *picks up her grocery bag, takes back her baby, and merrily goes on her way*

    Related:
    Hell Hath No Fury Like A Pregnant Woman Scorned

    August Top Story Roundup

    | Not Always Right | Roundups

    August Top Story Roundup: From unexpectedly brave employees to courageous cosplayers, these are the top stories for the month of August!

    1. A Knight In Patrolling Armor (3,479 thumbs up)
      A bigoted customer gets what she deserves, while the employee gets what he desires!
    2. Courage Under Hire (3,457 thumbs up)
      Held up by a robber at knife point? Just another stupid customer for this brave gas station employee.
    3. Lightening In A Bottle (3,293 thumbs up)
      This wine store clerk has plenty to drink to for their birthday, courtesy of an awesome customer!
    4. The Cosplayer Is Always Right (3,047 thumbs up)
      Batman, Pikachu, and Master Chief save the day for cosplayers everywhere!
    5. Good News For (A Heckuva Lot Of) Change (2,948 thumbs up)
      An extremely excited new dad spreads the love for an unsuspecting ice cream shop employee.

    PS #1: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!

    PS #2: Read more roundups here!

    Love In The Time Of Customers

    | Texas, USA | Love/Romance

    (I work at a tourist company where we sell fishing trips.)

    Elderly Customer: “Do you have availability for this date?”

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, but we’re booked until next week.”

    Elderly Customer: “And I bet if I asked for your phone number, you’d tell me ‘Sorry,’ too.”

    Me: *laughing* “Well, I’d tell you my husband might not approve of that!”

    Elderly Customer: “Husband? You have a husband? Those tend to get in the way! “

    A Resistance To Watt’s Current In Science

    | Texas, USA | Bizarre, Technology

    (A customer comes into my store to return an analog multimeter.)

    Me: “Hello, ma’am. What can I help you with?”

    Customer: “I want to return this meter.”

    Me: “Okay, no problem. Do you have your receipt?”

    (She gives me her receipt and I check it.)

    Me: “Everything seems to be in order. Why are you returning this today?”

    Customer: “This meter doesn’t detect electro-pulses in the air. Computers and stuff can cause currents to run through your bed, and it causes cancer. I wanted to measure the currents running through my house and bed.”

    (Multimeters can be used to measure current, voltage, and resistance, but this specific one can’t measure currents in the air.)

    Me: “It’s true that this device can’t measure currents in the air. However, you do know it’s literally impossible to avoid being bombarded by electromagnetic waves, right? You are more likely to win the lottery than die from over-exposure to electromagnetic waves. You don’t have to worry about that.”

    Customer: “That is EXACTLY what the government wants you to believe! Look it up online if you don’t believe me! Children are especially affected by them. It causes cancer and all sorts of other sicknesses. I can even sense them in the air now!”

    Me: “Well, you are in an electronics store after all. But if you could sense these waves, why do you need a multimeter in the first place?”

    Customer: “I am not crazy!” *storms out of the store*

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