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    Your Argument Is Full Of Hot Air

    | Campbell, CA, USA |

    (Our gas station’s air pump is broken so we have taken both air hoses and put them under the cover they normally stick through. A customer drives up, give me his credit card, and starts to pump gas.)

    Customer: “Where are your air hoses?”

    Me: “The air pump is broken, so we don’t have the air hoses out.”

    Customer: “Okay.”

    (Despite what I said, the customer opens the air pump cover, pulls one of the hoses out, and goes over to his car tire and tries to put air in it. A few minutes later, he comes back to my booth.)

    Customer: “I think your air is broken. It’s deflating my tire!”

    Me: “Yes, as I said earlier, it’s broken. That’s why the hose was under the cover.”

    Customer: “Now my tire is almost flat! You are going to need to pay for a tow to another gas station.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but I told you that the pump was broken. I also put the hoses under the cover. You decided to pull them out and try to use them anyway.”

    Customer: *yelling* “You should pay for my tow! If I ruin my rim driving to go get air I’m going to make you pay for it!”

    To Whom This May (Not) Concern, Part 2

    , | Oregon, USA | Food & Drink

    Me: *holding a bag out the window* “Dave! Bacon cheeseburger and regular fries!”

    Customer: *comes up and grabs the bag* “Thanks!”

    Me: “Hey, I just took your order like a minute ago. Didn’t you get an ice cream cone?”

    Customer: “Yeah, thanks.”

    Me: “That’s not an ice cream cone; it’s a bacon cheeseburger and regular fries. Is your name Dave?”

    Customer: “No!” *hands back the bag* “Where’s my cone?!”

    Related:
    To Whom This May (Not) Concern

    Boston Illegal

    | Boston, MA, USA | Criminal/Illegal

    (A customer discovers that the price tag on an item is covering an older price tag with a lower price on it.)

    Customer: “You can’t do that. That’s illegal!”

    Me: “I’m sorry?”

    Customer: “I know because I’m sleeping with a law student!”

    Some Things Just Don’t Add Up, Part 6

    | Pennsylvania, PA, USA | Math & Science, Money

    (A woman comes up and gives me $2 for her daughter to print. With our computers, you need to have money in your account in order to print. The daughter prints something, then tries to print again. The mother comes up twice, complaining that nothing is coming out and that something is wrong.)

    Me: “How much is it saying it will cost?”

    Patron: “We have enough.”

    Me: “Okay, then it should print.”

    Patron: “It’s saying it’s printing, but nothing is coming out.”

    (I go over and try to print it. They don’t have enough.)

    Me: “You need to put more money on the card.”

    Patron: “Why?!”

    Me: “The prints costs more than you have on there.”

    Patron: “But she only printed once.”

    Me: “This new print costs $1.50. She already spent at least $0.70, from what I can see. You only gave me $2.”

    Patron: “So?”

    Me: “So $2 minus $0.70 is less than $1.50.”

    Patron: “I don’t get it.”

    Me: “You need to give me more money for the prints.”

    Patron: “But why?!”

    Related:
    Some Things Just Don’t Add Up, Part 5
    Some Things Just Don’t Add Up, Part 4
    Some Things Just Don’t Add Up, Part 3
    Some Things Just Don’t Add Up, Part 2
    Some Things Just Don’t Add Up

    Listening Is Believing

    | Michigan, USA | Technology

    (At the store where I work, we have a rewards program. If customers spend a certain amount of money, they get to go online and print off a coupon that takes money off of their order. One day, I am working the register and this happens.)

    Caller: “I can’t print off this coupon. It won’t let me log on to my account!”

    Me: “Do you have the right email/password?”

    Caller: “I do. This is the password to my email address!”

    Me: “It’s different than your email’s password. This is a completely different site, and is different than checking your email.”

    Caller: “It won’t work! Make it work! This is so stupid! Fix it!”

    Me: “Does it give you an option to change your password?”

    Caller: “No! Make it work!”

    Me: “Try changing your password—”

    Caller: “That won’t work! I know the password to my email address!”

    Me: “If you change it, you should be able to get in.”

    Caller: “This is ridiculous!”

    (She finally agrees to try and change password, and clicks the link.)

    Caller: “Oh! That worked…”


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