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    She Has A Phone To Pick With You

    | USA | Extra Stupid, Technology, Top

    (I am helping a lady pick a bracelet for herself. She has kept her phone on my table.)

    Customer: “Yes, this one will do nicely.”

    Me: “Great! So you will be buying this one?”

    Customer: “Yup. You have some nice collections here. Thanks for all your help.”

    (She picks up her phone, puts it in her pocket, and I proceed to check her out. Suddenly, she starts looking for something.)

    Me: “Ma’am, are you missing something?”

    Customer: “Yes, my phone! I had kept it right on this table here.”

    Me: “Oh, I think you kept that in your pocket a few minutes ago.”

    Customer: “No! I would have remembered if I did. You stole it!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but you are mistaken. I was with you the entire time. Why don’t you check your pocket?”

    Customer: “No way! So you can steal something else? I know you sort of people. You appear all nice outside, while you steal from paying customers like me! I will report you to the police!”

    Me: “How about I call your phone from my phone, so you can find it?”

    (We try my suggestion, and sure enough her phone rings from her pocket.)

    Customer: “Uhm… I…”

    (She goes red in the face and disappears. She returns a couple of days later with a gift card for me. She apologizes for her behavior, and for my trouble, and goes away. To that lady, if she happens to read this: we all make mistakes, but it is rare that we accept our mistakes. Thank you for doing so, and making my day!)

    Very Wrong About Being Right

    | IA, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests

    (An irate caller is complaining about a billing problem that has been previously resolved by our billing specialists. He has received $50 in credits, but they will not apply until the next invoice is printed. At this time, we cannot edit already-printed invoices. The customer has been made aware of this twice per my co-workers’ notes. He does not want to wait.)

    Me: “Sir, you have been given the credits, but as you have been advised—”

    Caller: “I don’t care what I was told! Not by you, or your workers, or your managers or whoever! You are going to apply the f****** credits! The customer is always right!”

    b>Me: “I understand that you’re upset about our crediting system, but please refrain from using profanity.”

    Caller: “F*** you! The customer is always right!”

    Me: “If you continue to use profanity, I will have to end the call.” Caller: “The customer is always right!”

    Me: “Sir, we have no way—”

    Caller: “I AM THE CUSTOMER. AM. I. RIGHT?”

    Me: “No.”

    (There is a significant pause.)

    Caller: “I want your supervisor.”

    Me: “I can do that for you, but they will tell you the same thing.”

    Caller: “I want your supervisor!”

    (I get one of my supervisors, and transfer the customer over. The caller screams “THE CUSTOMER IS ALWAYS RIGHT!” at him for 15 minutes, and then hangs up.)

    Don’t Fear Hell

    149

    Cheese With That Whine?

    Whine

    Taking Stupidity To New Heights, Part 3

    | Orlando, FL, USA | Family & Kids, Top, Tourists/Travel

    (I work on the ride with the highest height requirement in the park. I am the ‘grouper’—basically I assign the guests to where they sit for the ride, and I am the final say on whether children are tall enough.)

    Me: “Hi buddy, could you come stand on this yellow square for me? Nice and tall like a soldier.”

    (The child is clearly too short.)

    Me: “I’m so sorry, but he is too short to ride.”

    Mother: “Please let him ride! All of his other friends have ridden this.”

    Me: “I’m sorry; he is too short to ride.”

    Mother: “Please, I promise he’s not scared; he won’t cry on the ride.”

    Me: “Ma’am, the height stick doesn’t measure courage; it measures height. Your son is too short; I’m sorry.”

    Mother: “But he wants to go so badly; he’s been asking all day.”

    Me: “Ma’am, your son could come flying out because he’s too short.”

    Mother: “OH MY GOD, REALLY?!”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am. The height requirement is a safety issue. That’s why we take it so seriously.”

    Mother: “Oh, I just thought you were mean!”

    Related:
    Taking Stupidity To New Heights, Part 2
    Taking Stupidity To New Heights

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