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    Husband And Strife

    | Maine, USA | Food & Drink, Spouses & Partners, Wild & Unruly

    (A man walks in with his wife and starts ordering their food. She goes over to the soda machine to grab a drink, but the ice machine stops working. Frustrated, the wife starts slamming on the bar you push to get ice.)

    Wife: “IT’S NOT WORKING!”

    Me: “I’ll be right over. Sometimes it jams and you just have to hold down the handle for a bit.”

    (I go over and hold down the handle for a good 30 seconds which is usually enough time for the ice to start coming out again, but it still doesn’t work.)

    Me: “I’m really sorry about that. Usually there’s an additional charge for bottled drinks but you can have one for no extra cost if that’s okay.”

    Wife: “Okay, thanks.”

    (The wife goes to grab a drink but just stands there for a moment.)

    Wife: “You know what? WHATS THE POINT OF GRABBING A G**D*** DRINK IF THERE’S NO G**D*** ICE?!”

    Husband: “Baby, it’s fine. Just grab a bottled drink.”

    Wife: “NO, IT REALLY ISN’T!” *throws cup on the ground and stomps out the door*

    Me: “I’m so sorry… you can have a bottled drink for free at this point.”

    Husband: “Really?”

    Me: “Yeah, sure. I’m sorry about the ice.”

    Husband: “No, no, don’t worry about it. She’s just a huge b****!”

    The Only Thing He’s Paying For Is Lip Service

    | Tampa, FL, USA |

    (Note: I’m an unpaid museum volunteer with a vest that obviously says volunteer. A well-dressed patron approaches me.)

    Me: “Hello, sir, how are you?”

    Patron: “I need to speak to the President, please.”

    Me: “Are you talking about the Vice Presidents or just the President?”

    Patron: “You know d*** well who I’m talking about, now get me to him! I’m the one who controls YOUR paycheck!”

    Me: “I’m a volunteer, sir.”

    Patron: “Oh…” *walks away*

    Painful Showers Bring Mayday Flowers

    | Midwest, USA | Awesome Customers, Health & Body, Wild & Unruly

    (While working at the flower shop, I’m trying to quickly help a pushy customer.)

    Customer #1: “Could you HURRY up? I’m in a rush!”

    (I hurriedly wrap her flowers in tissue. In my rush to appease her, I staple my thumb to the paper. The staple is completely closed, going through BOTH my thumb and the paper. It immediately starts bleeding on her flowers.)

    Me: “OW! Oh, gosh, I need to get some help with this!”

    Customer #1: “No! I need my flowers! Give them to me!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I am bleeding all over your flowers. I need some help getting this out of my thumb. I’m sorry, but you’ll need to wait.”

    Customer #1: “NO! HURRY UP!”

    Me: “Do you want bloody flowers?”

    Customer #1: “I don’t care about your thumb! Get me new flowers!”

    (At this point, I notice Customer #2, who is standing behind her, getting woozy at the sight of my bleeding stapled thumb.)

    Me: *to Customer #2* “Sir, are you going to be okay?”

    Customer #1: “Stop helping him! You’re supposed to be helping me!”

    (Finally, a coworker hears the commotion and comes up front. She immediately gets on rubber gloves and starts trying to pry the staple out.)

    Customer #1: “I can’t believe this! If I wasn’t in such a hurry, I would just go somewhere else!”

    Customer #2: *still looking green* “Lady, just go somewhere else! Leave the poor girl alone!”

    Customer #1: “Lazy employees!” *throws her hands in the air and leaves*

    (Soon, the staple is gone and my wound is bandaged. At least my day ended on a high point—Customer #2 was very pleasant and bought me a flower!)

    Aisle Never Stop Answering You

    | USA | Bizarre, Wild & Unruly

    (I work in a small card shop in a mall. It’s rather cramped and the aisles are difficult to navigate if there are many people in the store. Small note: There are two phones in the store; one in the office, one near the registers.)

    Manager: “[Me], will you please put these cards back in their pockets?”

    Me: “Sure.”

    (I begin to walk to the proper space when an older customer stops me, smiling.)

    Customer: “NOW what are you going to do?”

    Me: “I’m sorry?”

    Customer: “What happens if the phone rings and you can’t get past me to get it? Do you just let it ring?”

    Me: “No, there is a phone near the registers.”

    Customer: “What? Nuh-uh. There can’t be one up there!”

    Me: “I believe there is still a phone up there, sir.”

    Customer: “Prove it! Show me!”

    (I take the customer up to the registers and show him there is indeed another phone.)

    Customer: “You smart alec! Why do you need two phones in a small store?!”

    Me: “In case the store is full and we can’t reach the other in time.”

    Customer: *quickly exits the store, defeated*

    Manager: “What the heck just happened?!”

    R-E-S-P-E-C-T, Part 2

    | New York, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (A mother and her two young children (both 4 or 5 years old) come through my checkout line. The mother is on her phone, totally oblivious to her children, who are running around and pulling on my apron strings. We have a spinning carousel with which to bag purchases; as I bag, the children begin spinning it around.)

    Me: “No, no, sweetie… please don’t do that. I’m trying to bag.”

    (Both children ignore me and keep spinning, and as a result I get hit by the carousel.)

    Me: *in pain* “Sweetheart, please don’t do that.”

    (The children continue to ignore me, so I put my knee on it so they can no longer spin it.)

    Me: “Please don’t.” *to the mother* “Ma’am?”

    Mother: *waves me off*

    (I have to lift a 24-pack of water, so I remove my knee from the carrousel. As expected, the children take this opportunity to spin it as hard as possible. I set the water down and stop the carousel.)

    Me: “Excuse me! When a grown up asks you to stop, you stop. This can hurt you if you get close, and we don’t want you to get hurt.”

    Mother: “B****! Don’t tell my kids what to do!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I asked them and I asked you to stop spinning the carrousel. Someone could get hurt.”

    Mother: “That’s bulls***!”

    (At this point, an elderly woman who has been waiting in line speaks up in my defense.)

    Elderly Woman: “Miss, you keep on bagging. This little hussy here should learn to watch her children, and if she can’t, then she shouldn’t have had them!” *to the mother* “In my day, you would be nice to the people at the register! Now, get off the phone and show some respect, because without nice young girls like this you’d never get your groceries and your kids would probably be bleeding on the floor while you’re on the phone too busy to care! What have you to say for yourself?!”

    (The mother was completely speechless and had nothing to say in her defense. Instead, she paid for her stuff and left as quickly as possible!)

    Related:
    R-E-S-P-E-C-T

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