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  • Some Stupidity Is A Hard Nut To Crack

    | NJ, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (After serving a very difficult table, I am happy they are on dessert and leaving soon. As I go up to hand them the check:)

    Customer: *as she literally spits out the mouthful* “Oh, my God, are there nuts in here?! I can’t eat nuts! They will break my teeth!”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am, you ordered NUTS OVER CARAMEL ice cream.”

    Customer: “I just thought that was the name of it. Why are there nuts in it?!”

    Don’t Read, And Pay The Price

    | Moncton, NB, Canada | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Language & Words

    (Our policy is, and has always been, that 30-days notice is required to cancel any service; this is clearly noted on all customer bills.)

    Customer: “Why am I being charged an extra 30 days for service I didn’t use?”

    Me: “Sir, you called on March 21 and requested that the account be closed on the 30th.”

    Customer: “So?”

    Me: “Well, 30 days’ notice is required to cancel any service. It’s indicated on every bill you receive—”

    Customer: “What? You expect me to read?!”

    Forced To Change Her Perspective

    | Canada | Bigotry, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

    (My family owns a family Chinese restaurant at which I work. I’m a 15-year-old Asian, but apparently I look 12-ish. This happened when a customer came in during a busy day to eat in. She had just finished eating.)

    Me: “How was your meal? Do you need anything else?”

    Customer: “Yes. Tell me, kind son. Are you forced to work here?”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Customer: “Are you forced to work here? Like child labor?”

    Me: *respectfully I replied* “No, ma’am, I am not forced to work here. I work here because I have family values and I want to help my single mom trying to give the best for her children. I don’t know what you’re trying to imply, but I am not a slave nor am I forced to work here. I hope you think about what I said and suggest giving me a tip for being so rude.”

    (She stood up, paid, and left without a word.)

    The Kind Of Customer We Want

    , | Oklahoma City, OK, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Food & Drink

    (I pull in to a local fast food drive-thru.)

    Clerk: *through the speaker* “Hello and thanks for choosing [Company]. What will it be today?”

    Me: *I’ve already decided, so I give my order with no hesitation* “I’ll have [order] with a [drink].”

    Clerk: *playfully with a sassy tone* “All right! A man who knows what he wants.”

    (We finish the order process. I pull around and wait my turn, several cars deep, before I finally get to the window.)

    Clerk: “Hey! It’s the man who knows what he wants.”

    Me: *jokingly* “I’ve changed my mind.”

    Clerk: “Noooooooooo….”

    Making A Queer Choice

    | NM, USA | Bizarre, Language & Words

    (I work in a call center. I am asking a customer to read out a serial number phonetically.)

    Customer: “…Q as in ‘Queer.’”

    (The customer passes for a moment.)

    Customer: “I’m sorry; I don’t know if that was politically correct. It means other things, right?”

    Me: *trying not to laugh* “Yes, sure. I can assure you it means other things.”

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