Not Kidding About That Discount

| Vienna, Austria | Family & Kids, Liars & Scammers

(We have a really convoluted system of discounts based on age and group size. People rarely ask for the right ticket, so we ask follow-up questions.)

Customer: “Hello, I’d like one family ticket: two adults and two children.”

Me: “Sure, how old are the children?”

Customer: “22 and 24.”

Channeling Through Some Good

| USA | Money, Movies & TV

(I work in a call center for paid TV service. They’ve recently lost a major broadcasting contract over the price for some VERY popular channels. Said channel viewers are known for being… let’s say fanatical.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Provider]. My name is [My Name]. How can I help you today?”

Customer: “What’s happened to [Channel]?”

(I explain the expiring contract, reasons behind it, and how we are trying to resolve it. Then I brace for the outrage I am getting all too used to.)

Customer: “Why they being so mean to you guys?”

Me: *dumbstruck over this response* “I… uh. don’t know but I guess everyone wants more sometimes.”

Customer: “They’re just being greedy! I’ll wait this out; don’t let them get what they want!”

Me: “Uhh… well, I guess I’ll report that as feedback.”

(This was hands down the most polite person on this issue I have talked to so far. This call single-handedly made every other call that day seem much better!)

No ID, No Idea, Part 21

| PA, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Underaged

(The company that I work has recently switched to an ‘ID All’ policy. We gave all customers more than a two weeks’ notice in several ways (handouts, print outs at the bottom of the receipt, and warning every customer that makes a tobacco purchase that they will have to provide a photo ID starting on a certain date.) Despite our best to make the transition a smooth one, there are many customers, particularly regulars, who are not too happy with this. It has now been more than a month since the policy has been in place and people are still complaining. The gentleman appears to be in his late forties. I also am very petite and have always looked much younger than I am.)

Me: “Hello, sir, how are you doing today?”

Him: “Fine. Gimme [Brand cigarettes].”

Me: *grabbing that brand* “Okay, will that be all?”

Him: “Of course that’s all!”

Me: “All right, could I please see your ID?”

Him: “Are you f***ing kidding me? I’m old enough to be your grandfather!”

(I’m used to this type of reaction from our customers around his age and patiently start to explain our new policy. There are multiple signs all over the place stating that we ID all, as well as a stack of pamphlets right in front of him explaining the policy. All the while he is hurling abuse at me.)

Him: “How old do you have to be to buy cigarettes?”

Me: “PA requires you to be 18, though some states are 19.”

Him: “Well, I’m obviously older than that! Are you even old enough to be selling those things?”

Me: “There is no age requirement to sell tobacco products, although [Company] does require you to be 16 to work here. I am, however, 18, so I could legally purchase this with proper identification.”

Him: “There’s no f****** way you’re 18. When’s your birthdate?”

(I’ve had this question asked many times by customers who don’t believe I’m old enough to work at the store, so I usually just give it to them.)

Him: “Seriously? I thought you were like 12!”

Me: “So, you were willing to harass a 12 year old over a policy that I have no control over, which has been in effect for 6 weeks, and which had a further 2 weeks notice given to all customers, despite the fact that there is ample signage everywhere, including right next to [Brand cigarettes he wanted to purchase] which states that we require identification from EVERYONE, all the while causing a disturbance and holding up all of the customers in line behind you, simply because you refuse to show your ID? Which if I do not ask for and see I will lose my job and be required to pay a fine, and all of this because you’re offended that I asked for your ID? I know that you are over 18. Everyone here can clearly see that you are over 18! Now can I please just see your ID? If not I cannot and will not sell you the cigarettes, and I will help the person behind you, who has been patiently waiting the entire time you’ve been causing this ruckus!”

(He meekly hands over his ID and pay for his cigarettes without saying another word. The next person in line steps up as he’s putting his change back into his wallet. This customer has his ID already out.)

Customer #2: *pleasantly* “Hello there! How are you doing today?”

Me: “I’m doing pretty good; thanks for asking! What can I get for you today?”

Customer #2: “I would like two boxes of [Brand], please. And of course you can have my ID!”

(The first customer left as quickly as possible, but not before glaring at Customer #2.)

Related:
No ID, No Idea, Part 20
No ID, No Idea, Part 19
No ID, No Idea, Part 18

In Need Of A Golden Nugget

, | LA, USA | Food & Drink, Pets & Animals

(I’m working the drive-thru window when a customer orders two meals, plus two extra 12-nugget boxes. I don’t think anything of it, as this is fairly normal, but then they drive up. There are two large dogs in the back, where the seats are folded down, and the customer and her husband in the front seats.)

Me: “That will be [price].” *sees the dogs* “Oh, I love dogs! Yours are gorgeous! Are they Huskies?”

Customer: “Aw, thank you, honey! Well, one is, and one’s a Malamute.”

(I have quickly processed the transaction as we chat, and I hand her card back, then her drinks, and then the bags.)

Me: “They look really well-behaved, too.”

Customer: “Oh, yes. They were so good at the dog park, we had to come get them a treat. They just love [Restaurant].”

(As she’s saying this, she hands one nugget box to her husband, they both open them as if on cue, and put them in the back where the dogs gobble them down.)

Me: *blinks* “Have a good day, ma’am.”

Customer: “Oh, we will. Bye!”

(They drive off, and my coworker and I look at each other.)

Coworker: “She just spent ten bucks on those dogs… I need that kind of money.”

Can’t Find Your Cross To Bear

| TX, USA | Holidays, Religion

Customer: “Excuse me; can you help me find some cross stickers?”

Me: “Well, our stickers are over here… Let’s see what we have.”

(We look around. We can’t find any cross stickers.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am…”

Customer: “Isn’t it just a shame how Christians are persecuted in the country?”

Me: *not a Christian* “Uh… they’re kind of seasonal? We had lots around Christmas and Easter.”

Customer: “Well, I guess I’ll try again. But we really shouldn’t be persecuted like this, don’t you think?”

Me: “Uh… good luck finding your stickers.”

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