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    Will Have To Park This Service

    | Australia | Bad Behavior, Criminal/Illegal, Family & Kids

    (The store where I work has a ridiculously tiny and awkwardly shaped car park, so on the weekend it can be difficult to find a parking spot. On one extremely hot Saturday I am working at the service desk when a customer comes through the door and pushes past all the other customers in line.)

    Customer: “I need to return this cushion.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. I’ll be happy to serve you, but you’ll need to join the queue.”

    Customer: “No, you don’t understand! I can’t wait in that line! I didn’t park my car and my baby is still inside!”

    Me: “So, you’re telling me that you’re blocking everyone else in the car park and you locked your baby inside your car, on a forty degree day?”

    Customer: “Yes, exactly! You need to serve me first!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I won’t serve you until you have parked your car correctly and brought your baby inside with you.”

    Customer: “You can’t refuse me service! I demand to talk to your supervisor!”

    Me: “That’s fine; I’ll be happy to call her for you after you park your car and bring in your baby.”

    (She swore under her breath and left in a huff. I didn’t see her again that day.)

    Dressing Up The Situation More Than Required

    | London, England, UK | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Money

    (I work in a small corner shop. It’s around two pm and the store is pretty dead. A lady walks in and purchases a large quantity of alcohol, paying in cash. She spots the engagement ring on my finger as I hand her the change.)

    Customer: “Aww, are you getting married?”

    Me: “Yeah, I’ve been engaged for almost two months now.”

    Customer: “That’s nice. I’ve been married for just under thirty years now.”

    (She reaches back into her purse and pulls out a twenty pound note.)

    Customer: “You seem like such a sweet girl. Here, take this. Put it towards your husband’s suit or something.”

    (I don’t like taking other people’s money, especially from strangers, so she puts it on the counter.)

    Me: “Well, um, actually my, uh, girlfriend and I are both gonna be wearing dresses but thanks.”

    (I don’t tend to discuss my personal life with customers much, and this one showed me why. Nodding for the briefest of moments before she realised what I’d said, her eyes widened in shock and she turned around and sprinted out of the store faster than I would have believed for someone of her age, leaving behind the £20 as well as all her purchases. We kept them behind the counter for a week before my boss decided to donate them to me and my now wife for our wedding. It’s been a month now since the wedding, but no-one since has asked about it.)

    It’s Locked

    funny-meme-customer-door

    The Question Is Largely Irregular

    , | Australia | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (We run a mobile coffee van. When we go to the markets we have a sign with the prices and types of coffee that you can get. On the sign we have R $4.50, for regular size, and L $5.50 for large size.)

    Customer: “What’s the difference between left-handed and right-handed coffee?”

    Damaging Your Chances

    | Allentown, PA, USA | Bad Behavior, Criminal/Illegal, Money

    (A husband and wife are browsing the store, with the wife wanting to buy things and the husband saying everything is too expensive. Finally she selects a figurine from our clearance rack.)

    Husband: “Wait, this is only [price]? The one over there was [bigger price]. What’s the difference?”

    Me: “This one is damaged, sir. It fell on the floor and the head broke off – you can see where I’ve glued it back on. It’s a clean break, but we can’t in good conscience sell it at the full price.”

    Husband: “So if I get the other one and break it, you’ll sell it to me for the cheaper price?”

    Me: “No, sir. I will call security because you’re intentionally damaging our merchandise.”

    (They did buy the clearance figure, but hurried out without their receipt. To my knowledge, they’ve never come back.)

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