• A Pain In The Nugget
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    A Pain In The Nugget

    , | Noblesville, IN, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

    (My brother works at a fast food place. The weekly supply of food is delivered Monday mornings, so by Sunday nights the store has usually run out of something. This particular week a local school had hosted a major youth baseball competition, so there’s been more business than usual and the school had neglected to inform the nearby restaurants about the event. The store is caught completely unprepared. By Sunday night they are out of chicken nuggets, one of their biggest sellers. My brother, working the front counter, has been telling customers upfront that the restaurant is out of some foods. Most of the customers have been nice about it.)

    Lady: “I want a bacon cheeseburger meal, a large fry, two large drinks, and a ten piece chicken nugget meal.”

    Brother: “I’m sorry, but we are currently out of large drink cups and—”

    Lady: “You’re out of large cups? But that’s the size I always get!”

    Brother: “I’m sorry about that, ma’am, but we do have medium cups. Will that do?”

    Lady: *sighs* “Yeah, I guess.”

    Brother: “We are also out of chicken nuggets. We do still have chicken patties, so if you’d like a chicken sandwich instead we could get that for you.”

    Lady: “Out of chicken nuggets?! How can you be out of chicken nuggets? Don’t you know that everyone loves chicken nuggets? My kids will only eat nuggets, and I’m not leaving here until my kids have nuggets!”

    Brother: “I’m sorry, but we have had more business than expected this week and have run out of nuggets. Would your kids like a hamburger instead?”

    Lady: “No, they would not! They only eat chicken nuggets! I demand you sell me nuggets!”

    Brother: “We are out of nuggets. Maybe they would eat a plain chicken sandwich? If they take off the bun the chicken patty would taste just like the nuggets.”

    Lady: “What part of ‘they only eat nuggets’ do you not understand? Let me speak to a manager! I’ll get my nuggets and you’ll be fired for not giving them to me! Just watch!”

    (My brother fetches the manager, who had just been explaining to someone at the drive-through the same thing my brother’s been explaining to this lady. He is already frustrated and does not want to deal with angry customers.)

    Manager: “What seems to be the problem here?”

    Lady: “This boy refuses to sell me nuggets! I want him fired for his bad service!”

    Manager: “We don’t have nuggets. Order something else.”

    Lady: “I cannot believe the rudeness here! That’s it; I’m leaving! You just lost a paying customer here! I hope you’re happy!”

    (She stormed out. A minute later two kids about six and eight years old come in.)

    Eight-Year-Old: “Mom said we had to come and get our food Can we get some chicken nuggets, please?”

    Brother: “I’m sorry, but we’re out of nuggets.”

    Eight-Year-Old: “Then can we get plain hamburgers, please?”

    Brother: “Of course. That’ll be $4.00.”

    Eight-Year-Old: “Mom said you and the boss guy were big dummies. You don’t seem like dummies. It’s not your fault you don’t have any nuggets left.”

    Brother: “Your mother also said you only eat chicken nuggets.”

    Six-Year-Old: “I don’t even like nuggets. I wanted a hamburger anyway.”

    (The manager let my brother give the kids each a free ice cream cone for being polite. They thanked my brother and left the restaurant smiling. Hopefully they’ll teach their mother something about manners!)

    Instruction Deconstruction

    | Cleveland, OH, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

    (I work tech support for a large corporation that services 50,000+ employees. It is not uncommon, when there are new upgrades or software, for our users to receive instructions on how to perform the installs themselves. We usually got a good number of calls from people who don’t read the instructions and just call into the help desk.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [Company] corporate help desk. My name is [My Name]. How may I help you?”

    Customer: “Hi, I just got the email that I’m supposed to install [newest upgrade] and need some help with it.”

    Me: “Okay, I can help you with that. Did you get the instructions?”

    Customer: “Yes, I have it right in front of me.”

    Me: “Okay, at what point are you having the issues.”

    Customer: “I scrolled to the bottom to get your number and called in.”

    Me: “Okay, let me get my copy of the instructions opened up and we’ll see if we can get this done.”

    (I open the PDF file and bring up my instructions.)

    Me: “Okay, now what does it say for step #1.”

    Customer: *reads instructions to me for step #1*

    Me: “Okay, do that. Now what does it say for step #2.”

    Customer: *reads instructions to me for step #2*

    Me: “Okay, do that.”

    Customer: “Wait a minute, are you just going to have me read the instructions and do it step by step?”

    Me: “Yes, that’s exactly what we are going to do. My instructions are no different than yours.”

    Customer: “Well, that’s not much help. I could do that by myself!” *click*

    The Power (Button) To Make A Difference

    | Canton, NY, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

    (I work in a call center supporting multiple ISP’s, when a very flustered, middle aged woman calls in.)

    Me: “Hi, and thank you for calling [ISP].”

    Customer: “My Internet is broken! I was on my computer and now all I see is a big yellow triangle, and I can’t even move my mouse!”

    Me: “Okay, ma’am, have you tried restarting the computer?”

    Customer: *starting to get angry* “How am I supposed to do that?! I told you, I can’t move my mouse!”

    Me: *trying very hard to keep the sarcasm out of my voice* “By holding the power button.”

    Customer: *very sincerely* “Oh… you can do that?”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

    Customer: “Oh, my god, it worked! You’re a genius! I am having a party this weekend. Come have a beer with us!”

    Must Be A Poultrinarian

    | Gold Coast, QLD, Australia | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (I overhear this in a buffet style restaurant in a popular theme park:)

    Customer: “Is this vegetarian?”

    (There is a sign clearly marking to dish as chicken.)

    Waiter: “No, ma’am, it’s chicken.”

    Customer: “I KNOW IT’S CHICKEN! I WANT TO KNOW IF IT IS VEGETARIAN! YOU ARE SO RUDE!” *moves on to next dish* “Is this vegetarian?”

    Waiter: “No, ma’am, that’s chicken, too.”

    Make Me One With Everything

    | NY, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink

    (I’m the weird customer in this one. I AM visiting a friend in New York and still pretty groggy from travel. We stop for lunch.)

    Cashier: “What would you like on your hot dog? Sauerkraut? Cheese?”

    (I am sleepy, but at this point I should clarify I’m from Chicago, where hot dogs are a bit different.)

    Me: “Oh, everything.”

    Cashier: *looking a little… concerned* “Uh, really?”

    Me: *finally realizing what nacho cheese and pickled cabbage would taste like* “Oh, uh, no, guess that would be… silly.”

    (At least the cashier was pretty amused. My friend still teases me.)

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