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    Filled With Creamy Justice

    | USA | Bigotry, Food & Drink

    Customer: “I’d like a donut.”

    Me: “What kind would you like?”

    Customer: *points out the donut* “But use tongs to pick it up.”

    Me: “Tongs?”

    Customer: “I don’t want anything touched by your white hands.”

    Me: “Okay…”

    (I use the tongs, and complete the sale.)

    Customer: *takes bite of donut* “This is good.”

    Me: “I made it fresh this morning. With my white hands.”

    To Give Credit Where Credit Is Due

    | NS, Canada | Extra Stupid, Money

    (I work for a retail company and some of the things we sell have rebates. Customer fills out form, sends it in, 4-6 weeks later they receive a prepaid Visa card in the mail. Pretty simple, right?)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. How can I help you?”

    Customer: “I am FURIOUS!”

    Me: “Oh, no, I’m sorry to hear that. What happened?”

    Customer: “You sent me a Visa card in the mail! I just got it!”

    Me: “You mean a prepaid one, right?”

    Customer: “Exactly!”

    Me: “Oookay… Something wrong with it?”

    Customer: “I didn’t tell you to send me this!”

    Me: “Sir, did you recently fill out a rebate form?”

    Customer: “Yeah! On a ream of paper.”

    Me: “Well, that’s what we send you- a prepaid Visa card. You can use it anywhere. Was it for the right amount?”

    Customer: “Yes.. But I didn’t give you authorization to use my personal information!”

    Me: “What do you mean?

    Customer: “In order to send me this you had to go in and get my credit card information! I didn’t give that to you! How did you get that?”

    Me: “Sir, it’s prepaid. There is money already on it,. Once you use it, it is gone. You don’t need to pay it off. It’s like a gift card. We don’t have your credit information. We don’t need your credit information. It’s perfectly safe.”

    Customer: “Yeah?! Well, I didn’t tell you to send it to me!”

    Me: “Did you fill out the form?”

    Customer: “Yes.”

    Me: “Then you told us to send you that.”

    Customer: “Well, you should state what you’re sending me on the form!”

    Me: “We do… at the top… in big bold letters.”

    Customer:  “Yeah, but-”

    Me: “Is there anything else I can help you with today?”

    Customer: “…”

    Me: “Have a good day, sir.”

    (I guess some people have nothing better to do.)

    To Give Credit Where Debit Is Due, Part 5
    To Give Credit Where Debit Is Due, Part 4
    To Give Credit Where Debit Is Due, Part 3

    Even Jack Reacher Can’t Fix This One

    | Canberra, ACT, Australia | Bizarre, Books & Reading

    (Two women, talking extremely loud, walk in. I let them browse and keep on with fixing a display because it’s a mess. Suddenly one starts yelling:)

    Customer: “IS LEE CHILD DEAD?!”

    (I realise that she’s screaming at me… from the other side of the shop.)

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Customer: *with a great deal of attitude* “I SAID… IS LEE CHILD DEAD? WHY AREN’T YOU LISTENING TO ME?!”

    Me: “I apologise, ma’am. Usually people walk over to me, or say hello first, when they have a request or a question.”

    Customer: “Well, I was too busy talking to my friend! YOU should have been eavesdropping on our conversation!”

    Me: “So I could butt in and tell you about Lee Child?”

    Customer: “No! How DARE you?! I come in here to relax, not to be bothered by know-it-all shop people!”

    Cutting Off Human Contact

    | LA, USA | Bizarre

    Customer: “I need two yards of this, but first, can you cut some off the end where people have been touching it?”

    Alarmingly Bad At Listening

    | FL, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid

    (I am ringing up a customer. The transaction goes smoothly until he is about to walk away with his purchases in his cart.)

    Me: “Oh, sir, you can’t take the cart out the doors. Our alarm will go off.”

    (The customer ignores me and keeps walking. Thankfully he turns around because his wife wanted to purchase another pair of shoes. Once that is done, I try again. Once again, he ignores me.)

    Me: “Sir, you can’t take the cart.”

    (The customer and his wife ignore me and continue to leave, until the security alarm goes off.)

    Customer: *pokes head back through the door* “Am I good?”

    Me: “No, you can’t take the cart.”

    Customer: *smiles and nods* “Okay.” *leaves with the cart*

    Me: “Well… okay, then.”

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