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  • Talking At-At Cross Purposes
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    Taking Cosplay To A Whole New Scale(s)

    | Chicago, IL, USA | Bad Behavior, Geeks Rule, Pets & Animals, Theme Of The Month

    (I’m a bystander at a convention where three of my friends are dressed as characters from a very popular ninja anime. One of them is dressed as a character who works with snakes a lot of the time and half the time can be seen with one draped over his shoulders. My friend shows up with an ACTUAL boa constrictor, about four feet long, wrapped around his neck. It is very even-tempered, so it looks like a fake snake hanging there. We’re at the concession area of the convention center and it’s still early, so no one has noticed the snake around his neck.)

    Cashier: “Hi, welcome to [Restaurant]. Can I help you?”

    Me: “Yeah, we’d like [menu item].”

    Friend: *in character* “Do you perhaps have any mice for my friend, here?”

    Cashier: *seems to recognize the character and laughs* “Sorry, [Anime Character Name], I’m afraid I’m all out. Love that thing by the way; I thought it was real for a minute there.”

    (We almost got away with it, but my friend had a bit of a creepy streak and actually uncoiled the snake from around his neck, revealing it to be very much a real snake. The cashier screamed, staggered backward, and then bolted out from behind the counter, taking off down the aisle. The four of us made tracks out of the convention center before we were personally escorted out. I gave my friend a whack before we all started laughing hysterically.)

    Needs To Wake Up And Smell The Roses

    | Mexico | Crazy Requests

    (A customer enters the flower shop with roses in his hands.)

    Customer: “Hi. Can you make me a floral arrangement? I already bought the roses.”

    Me: “Yes. It is going to cost $20.”

    Customer: “Wait! Do I have to pay you?!”

    Ahead Of The Game

    | St. John's, NL, Canada | Crazy Requests, Liars & Scammers, Technology

    (We sell console games in addition to groceries in a more-or-less rough part of town, and our policy is unopened games can be returned with a receipt within 14 days from purchase.)

    Customer: “I’d like to return this game.”

    Me: *checks seal on game* “Seal is in check, so I just need your receipt.”

    Customer: “I’ve got no receipt. But I just want to exchange this for some groceries now.”

    Me: “Sorry. Without a receipt I have to get authorization on these big ticket items from a manager.”

    Customer: “It’s only a game. It’s not even that big.”

    Me: “No, but the price tag is. It comes to almost $90, so I need a manager authorization.”

    (My manager and I check the UPC in our system, and he sees that we received six copies of the game, and there is six on the shelf right now, and the system shows no sales since it arrived.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but that game wasn’t bought at this store. Perhaps it was a different store you bought it at?”

    Customer: “No, it was right here. I bet you it was the cashier just took my money and put it in her pocket when I left. Didn’t even scan it.”

    Me: “Did you get a receipt?”

    Customer: “Yeah, but I lost it.”

    Me: “If you got a receipt, the cashier couldn’t have stolen your money. We received in six copies of this game, and there is six in our case. And we haven’t sold any at this location since it arrived.”

    Customer: “Well, I don’t want my money back. I just want groceries.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but without a receipt showing purchase from this location, I cannot give you any sort of refund or exchange.”

    Customer: “I’ll be back later to get a refund on this, then. Bunch a thieves.”

    Manager: *to me after he leaves* “What was the game called he was trying to get off with?”

    Me: “You’ll get a kick out of this: ‘Thief.’

    A Thought For Your Pennies

    | IL, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Math & Science, Money

    (I’m a pharmacy tech working the drive thru. An older customer pulls up, and we go through getting her prescriptions.)

    Me: “Okay, your total will be $67.29.”

    Customer: “Okay.”

    (I go and grab her prescriptions from our waiting bin and come back to finish the transaction.)

    Customer: “Was that $68?”

    Me: “$67.29.”

    Customer: “$67.34?”

    Me: *now trying to not laugh* “$67.29″

    Customer: “Oh, 29.”

    (I looked back at my pharmacist and he’s trying to not crack up while in view of the customer. I finish the transaction and close the window.)

    Pharmacist: “Where on earth did she get 34 from?!”

    Making A Fuss Over Small Fry

    , | CT, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    (I work at a fast food restaurant. We currently have a seafood special that comes with fries and a biscuit.)

    Customer: “Do you have one that comes without fries and a biscuit?”

    Me: “Yes, we do.”

    Customer: “How much would that be?”

    (I give her the price, plus tax.)

    Customer: “Okay, I’ll take that. How much does a drink cost?”

    Me: “A dollar.”

    Customer: “So I’ll take that and a drink.”

    (I ring up her order, making sure that she wants it without the fries and biscuit, to which she says yes. I assemble her order and give it to her. She’s not even away from the counter when she starts complaining.)

    Customer: “This is all I get?”

    Me: “Yes, you get eight pieces.”

    Customer: “That’s ridiculous! I paid five dollars for this?”

    (Her total was five dollars and change because of the one dollar drink.)

    Me: “I’m sorry. That’s how it comes.”

    Customer: “That’s ridiculous.”

    (At this point she spots my manager, who comes over to assist.)

    Customer: “It’s ridiculous that I just paid five dollars for this little bit of food!”

    Manager: “Can I see your receipt? The food was $3.99 and the drink was a dollar, plus tax.”

    Customer: “Oh, well, that’s still ridiculous.”

    Manager: “Would you like the fries and a biscuit?”

    Customer: “Yes, I think I would like that.”

    (At this point, I open my mouth, ready to interject that she specifically asked for no fries and no biscuit, just the eight pieces of seafood. But I don’t.)

    Manager: “If you give me one more dollar, you can get the fries and biscuit.”

    (She hands over the dollar and my manager tells me to serve the fries and biscuit. Once I’m finished, I give it to her.)

    Customer: “Thank you! God, that was ridiculous!”

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