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    Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 6

    | UK | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Health & Body

    (I’m 26 but quite petite, so I often get mistaken for being a lot younger. I’m also married and seven months pregnant. I’m at a higher end department store trying on dresses. I’m just leaving the changing room with a very helpful salesgirl. The next person goes in leaving a customer and her teen daughter next in line.)

    Customer: *in a stage whisper* “See! That’s why you keep your legs closed at school. So you don’t end up buying your prom dress looking like that.”

    (Her daughter goes red as several other customers stare in disbelief.)

    Daughter: “For God’s sake, mum! Shut up!”

    Me: “Oh, no, your mum’s right. That’s exactly what my mum told me. When I was 16. 10 years ago.”

    (The customer reddens as her daughter glares at her.)

    Me: “So what I did was, I studied hard at school, went to university, and got a degree. I started my own business, bought a car, and then a house. I met my partner, dated for a couple of years, then got married. Now that we’re financially comfortable we’re having a baby. I’m not saying that’s for everyone but you don’t want to wake up one day to find you’re 50, miserable, bigoted, and rude.”

    Customer: *very embarrassed by everyone’s stares* “I’m only 42!”

    Me: “I’m sure that’s what your daughter will remember about today.”

    Related:
    Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 5
    Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 4
    Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 3
    Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 2
    Cause For Pregnant Pause

    Charity Begins At Home Furnishing

    , | London, England, UK | Crazy Requests, Home Improvement

    (As a charity shop, all items are donated to us. The staff are volunteers and so do not receive wages. The money made from sales goes to our cause; in this case, the care of the elderly in a local home. I approach a customer that has been looking at a sofa for some time.)

    Me: “Can I help?”

    Customer: “This sofa, isn’t it a bit expensive?”

    (Customers sometimes try to haggle or cheat us, so I’m not surprised so far.)

    Me: “Well, even though the sofa has no signs of wear and looks to be new, it has been heavily discounted. It would be triple the price from any other shop.”

    Customer: “Yeah, but this is a charity shop.”

    Me: “Yes…”

    Customer: “So I don’t see why you can’t just give it away.”

    Me: “…”

    Customer: “I rent out property, you see. I get more if the places are furnished, but if I have to buy the furniture…”

    Me: “We can’t just give things away. We raise money for the charity, which cares for elderly people.”

    Customer: “Yeah, but you get this stuff for free.”

    Me: “… “

    Bad Grandpa

    | TX, USA | At The Checkout, Rude & Risque, Themed Giveaway, Tourists/Travel

    (I am a female cashier and recently turned 21. I have worked at this store since I was 17 and am known for being a bit of a goody-goody with the other staff and regulars. A regular customer and I are discussing how much I would love to travel some day, with him telling me about his experiences.)

    Customer #1: “It isn’t so bad. You just backpack it. Go to a town, get a job for a while, and then move on when you’ve saved up again. And most of Europe speaks English, so it’s not like you have to learn every language along the way. Just a few phrases here and there.”

    Me: “I suppose. I guess I’d just be nervous to do it alone, y’know?”

    Customer #1: “Oh, yeah. The whole girl thing. I suppose you wouldn’t want to travel alone?”

    Me: “Yeah. Hostel horror stories, right?”

    Customer #1: “Well, don’t let it stop you. Find a friend or something. A girl friend, if that helps.”

    Me: “Maybe!”

    Customer #1: “Good luck with that! Next time I’m here, I want to hear you’ve bought a one-way plane ticket!”

    Me: “Hah! Yeah, right. Thanks! Have a great night!”

    (As the first customer heads off, the customer after him steps forward. He is a small, elderly man with a shaved head, round frame glasses, gold chains around his neck, large rings and a Hawaiian shirt. He isn’t a regular and I’ve never seen him before.)

    Customer #2: “I heard you talking about travelling around Europe.”

    Me: “Oh, yeah. It’ll probably never happen, though.”

    Customer #2: “Yes, yes. Travel can be scary.”

    Me: “And expensive. Maybe after I graduate.”

    Customer #2: “Are you eighteen?”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Customer #2: “Are you eighteen? You said after you graduate. High school?”

    Me: “Oh. No. I’m …yeah.”

    Customer #2: “Well. Perfect. You look so young, I wasn’t sure!”

    (He starts writing his name on the back of a business card. The other side has a generic sounding company name in hot pink, with a woman’s first name, phone number and email address.)

    Customer #2: “My friend, [Name On Business Card], can help you out. She makes good money…” *he winks* “…on the internet.”

    Me: “Oh. That’s. Okay. I’ve got a job.”

    (I start checking faster, feeling suddenly very awkward.)

    Customer #2: “No really! It’s very lucrative. Very discrete.”

    Me: “…”

    Customer #2: “You just tell her that [Customer #2] referred you, okay?”

    (He refuses to leave without putting the card in my hand when I give him the receipt. My bagger hands him his items and the customer leaves. The bagger approaches me as I’m tossing the card in the garbage under my register.)

    Bagger: “Dude, did you just get hit on by a sleazy grandpa?”

    Me: “Actually, I think he was soliciting me to make internet porn.”

    Bagger: “… I can’t decide if that’s worse or not.”

    A Listening Ear Can Switch Gear

    | Omaha, NE, USA | Bad Behavior, Wild & Unruly

    (I am a security guard for a company unaffiliated with the business I provide security for. I literally sit in a shack and sign reps from other companies in and out of the complex. I am way over-qualified for this position, but it is perfect for going to school.)

    Me: “Morning, sir. What brings you to [Company]?”

    Customer: “MY DAD DIED TWO YEARS AGO AND THEY WON’T TRANSFER THE OWNERSHIP OF THE BILLS TO ME!”

    Me: “Okay, sir. Here is where you have to go.” *gives site name directions and what to do and say*

    Customer: “Ugh! YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THAT I DROVE TWO HOURS TO THIS LOCATION JUST TO BE TOLD THAT I’M WRONG!?”

    Me: “Yup.”

    Customer: “WELL, WHAT HAPPENED TO CUSTOMER SERVICE IN THE WORLD!? I WANT YOU TO TRANSFER MY BILLS TO ME!”

    Me: “Not my problem, sir. I don’t work for [Company]. I just provide security from customers like you.”

    Customer: “GAH! *slams his sports car into reverse and leaves pretty thick black lines in the concrete* “D*** IT!”

    (Hours later, the guy came back with coffee and some sandwiches, parked in front of the shack, apologized profusely, and told me about recent events: cheating wife, ungrateful daughter, and a recent suicide by his mother. I listened and give him my number and told him to call whenever he needed a friendly ear. He calls once a month.)

    They Made An Unsafe Assumption

    | Stockholm, Sweden | Extra Stupid, Hotels & Lodging

    (A guest calls down to the front desk.)

    Guest: “Hi. Yeah, umm. How do I get the microwave in the room working?”

    Me: “Sorry, Mrs. [Name], but we don’t have any microwaves in the room.”

    Guest: “Yes, you do. It’s on the 2nd shelf of the closet, has a digital screen and my frozen pizza in it, but it won’t start.”

    Me: “Madam is this microwave black and with a thick steel door?”

    Guest: “Yes.”

    Me: “That is not a microwave, but the in-room safe, Mrs. [Name].”

    Guest: “Oh!” *obviously embarrassed* “That explains why there was a power outlet on the inside…Thank you.” *click*


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