October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

A-Salt-ed By Stupidity, Part 2

, | Los Angeles, CA, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

(I work for an online gourmet food shop. They sell all kinds of neat things, ranging from gourmet sea salts to flavored sugar and spice blends. I was working the phones when I got this beauty of a call.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Do your natural sea salts have any sodium in them? I need sodium-free natural sea salts.”

(Now I know they make fake ‘sea salt’ in labs for people who shouldn’t have too much salt, but these are NATURAL sea salts. CLEARLY LABELED.)

Me: “I’m afraid they do, ma’am.”

Customer: “Every last one of them? I need to find natural sea salt that doesn’t have any sodium in them!”

Me: “I’m… very sorry, ma’am. All of our NATURAL sea salts do have sodium in them.”

Customer: “Ain’t that some bull****. F*** this place.” *click*


| Sterling Heights, MI, USA | Food & Drink

(I am ordering fries and a drink. I am in front of an older lady, who also orders fries in her meal.)

Cashier: “Hi, what can I get you?

Me: “Hi, I’ll have a medium fry and a mocha frappe.”

(I finish my order, for here, and step aside to wait for my order to be completed.)

Customer: “Hi, I’ll have a quarter pounder meal. Make it large, please.”

(She also finishes her order and steps aside next to me to wait for her food. There are three trays waiting to be filled when an employee places a medium fry on my tray. After a few moments the lady takes a couple fries from my tray, not realizing whose order they are from. Trying not to be rude, I don’t step in right away. An employee then places a quarter pounder and large fries on her tray. The lady suddenly realizes her mistake.)

Customer: “Oh, my, is this yours?”

Me: “Um, yeah I think so.”

Customer: “We’ll, why didn’t you say something?! Here, take my large fries since I just ate out of yours. I am so sorry!”

(She switches our fries before I can even respond.)

Me: “Oh, thank you.”

Customer: “No, I’m the one who ate your fries!”

An Extra-Large A**-Hole

| CA, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests

(The pizza shop where I work has several in-store specials, including $11.99 for a large combination. Unless a coupon or special says otherwise, it’s $2 to upgrade to an extra-large pizza. A regular customer comes in after placing an order over the phone. He is always a little curt and slightly drunk, but I’ve never had a problem with him before.)

Me: “Okay, you had an extra-large combination pizza. Anything else today?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “That comes to $13.99.”

Customer: “They said it was $11.99.”

Me: “The special is $11.99 for a large, and $2 for an extra-large.”

Customer: “But he said $11.99 on the phone! I spoke to [New Coworker], and he said $11.99!”

Me: “It’s possible he was confused. It’s $11.99 for a large combo, and $2 to upgrade to extra-large.”

Customer: “Look, I asked him twice. I wrote it down!”

Me: “I’m sorry sir, but it’s always $2 more for an extra-large. It’s on the poster in the window. If [New Coworker] said $11.99 for an extra-large, he was mistaken.”

Customer: “I wrote it down!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but—”

Customer: “Do you want me to leave the pizza here? I’m walking away.”

(I turn to my manager, who’s working nearby.)

Me: “Uh, what should I…?”

Manager: *quietly* “Just give it to him. It’s okay.”

Me: *to the customer* “Okay sir, $11.99. Sorry about the confusion.”

(The customer says nothing and hands me his credit card. The machine processes and asks to print a receipt.)

Me: “Thank you, sir. Would you like your receipt today?”

Customer: *annoyed* “No.”

(I finish the transaction and close the register.)

Me: “Okay, have a good day, sir!”

Customer: “Can I get a receipt?”

Me: “…”

Just A Normal Day In The Republic

| Poutlney, Vermont, USA | Bizarre, Politics, Religion

(I’m at the register when an older gentleman wearing an USMC cap walks briskly into the store. He asks if we still have our jumbo-sized eggs. I tell him yes and point him in the direction. The conversation happens while I’m cashing him out.)

Customer: “Do you have children?”

Me: “No, I do not.”

Customer: “Are you married?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “Good. When you decide to have children, take it slow. Make sure you do it right.”

Me: “Okay… I will…?”

Customer: “What does your husband do?”

Me: “He works here in the store.”

Customer: “Oh, good. In the meantime, make sure he’s baptized and votes Republican. Have a good day now.”

Me: “You, too…” *to myself after customer walks out the door* “Did that really just happen?”

If I Had A Gold Coin For Every Odd Customer

| Aurora, CO, USA | Bizarre, Money

(I am on the phone…)

Me: “…so I’m sending you an email confirmation of this reservation. Would you like the confirmation number verbally as well?”

Caller: “No, thank you. I do have one question, though…”

Me: “Yes, sir?”

Caller: “I have a clay pot sitting in front of me. It’s about eight inches wide and twelve inches deep.”

Me: “…Yes?”

Caller: “Would you be able to fill it with gold coins?”

Me: *thinking he means gold dollars* “Oh, no, sir. Unfortunately gold coins aren’t something we generally keep at the front desk, but there is a bank located within walking distance where you can exchange for gold dollars.”

Caller: “So you’ll give me a voucher when I get there?”

Me: “Uh… no. You have to exchange your own money for the gold dollars.”

Caller: “Okay. Stay out of trouble!” *click*

Page 7/2,512First...56789...Last