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    Clawing Back Faith In Humanity

    | New Zealand | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids

    (The cinema I work for has a large games area. They staff this area with a cash-out booth, so patrons can get out coins from their EFTPOS cards. We also help out when games break down or have issues. On this day I am working in the booth when a middle aged lady approaches me.)

    Lady: “Hey, I just thought I’d let you know, one of your claw machines is broken. These kids have been playing on it on just $2, but the machine keeps giving them free turns.”

    Me: “Oh, thank you for letting me know! I’ll see what I can do about it.”

    (As we have to make sure all the games are working and not handing out free things, I go over to check on the machine. Sure enough, there are these two seven- to nine-year-old boys playing on the crane game for the larger sized toys, and I notice that there seems to be a lot less than there were earlier that morning. I’m about to go over and tell the boys I can’t let them keep playing anymore when one of them wins a large Hello Kitty toy. He then promptly runs over to a random young lady and asks her if she would like the toy because he didn’t want it but he thought she might like it. Baffled, clearly having never met the kid before, the woman accepts. I happen to notice a lot of other people wandering around the games area with large toys. I assume most have never met the boys before. It is the cutest thing ever, so I let them win one more toy each to take home for themselves, seeing how they have given away every single other toy to strangers. After that I fix the game once their parents take them off to their movie. Cutest kids I’ve ever met.)

    Unable To Channel The Caller

    | Canada | Extra Stupid, Technology

    (I work tech support for the Internet part of a company that also provides cable TV and cell phones, so sometimes we get calls meant for other departments. When that happens, we just transfer them over. One day I get a call from an older, heavily-accented caller.)

    Me: “Thanks for choosing [Company] Internet tech support. What can I do for you today?”

    Customer: “My weather network, and the news, and, uh… it no work!”

    Me: “Your Internet isn’t working?”

    Customer: “No! Not Internet. TV! My weather channel isn’t working! And the news channel!”

    Me: “Oh, your cable TV isn’t working!”

    Customer: “”Right!”

    Me: “I’m sorry to hear that! Well, you’ve reached Internet tech support, so let me get you right over to cable TV repair, and they’ll be able to look into that for you. Before I get you to them, do you have any Internet questions for me while you have me here?”

    Customer: “Yes!”

    Me: “Yes?”

    Customer: “My weather channel isn’t working!”

    Me: “Okay, well, then, let me get you right over to cable TV repair then. This will just put you back into hold while I get you to them. There may be just a brief wait–”

    Customer: “Wait!”

    Me: “Yes?”

    Customer: “My news channel isn’t working!”

    Me: “Well, that’s still on your TV, so let’s get you right over to the right department–”

    Customer: “Wait!”

    Me: “Yes?”

    Customer: “My weather channel isn’t working either!”

    Me: “Okay, well-let-me-get-you-right-over-to-the-right-guys-they’ll-be-with-you-in-just-a-sec-bye!” *hits transfer button*

    Time Zone Phone Home

    | Dallas, TX, USA | Extra Stupid, Geography

    (The customer places an online order and wants to change some items, but it isn’t showing up yet. I tell the customer to call back in an hour to be able to check it.)

    Customer: “So on what time are you located?”

    Me: “Eastern time.”

    Customer: “So, at what time I have to call back?”

    Me: “In an hour.”

    Customer: “So what time over here would that be?”

    Me: “…”

    Weirdness In The Blood

    | Sarasota, FL, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Health & Body

    (We have a patient known for saying random, off the wall things. I had just scheduled a follow up appointment for him.)

    Me: “Okay, sir, the doctor would like you to have some bloodwork done two weeks prior to your next appointment.”

    (I hand him the lab slip and the patient stares blankly at me for a moment.)

    Patient: “What do they do with the leftover blood?”

    Me: “Sorry?”

    Patient: “What do they do with the blood that they don’t use?”

    Me: “Um, I believe it’s discarded as they have no use for it…”

    Patient: “Do you think they would give it to me?”

    Me: “You want the leftover blood sample?”

    Patient: “Yes. It’s MY blood.”

    Me: “What would you do with it?”

    Patient: “I don’t know, but I want it!”

    Me: “Have a nice day, sir.”

    A History Of Petty Crime

    | Montreal, QC, USA | Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Criminal/Illegal, History

    (I am working at the register at the time. Our clients often come after they have visited the Museum’s permanent exposition, taking a bite to eat.)

    Me: “Hello, sir! Did you enjoy your visit of the exposition?”

    Customer: “Incredible! This is my first time here and I just can’t believe how magnificent those antique items are!”

    Me: “Yes, I have gone back to the rooms many times myself. They truly are worth seeing.”

    Customer: “I really liked the [Important Historical Figure] room. My ancestors served under him, you know?”

    Me: “Glad you liked the visit, sir! Your lunch will come at [price].”

    Customer: “Sure, give me a minute…”

    (After he pays, as he puts money back into his wallet, I notice a familiar object from his belongings.)

    Me: “Sir… is this [personal object from Important Historical Figure]?”

    Customer: “Oh, yes! I wanted to show it to my mother! Her legs tire so much she had to stay here.”

    Me: “You’re aware that’s completely illegal and may get you arrested? You need to go give it back right now.”

    Customer: “Don’t worry. It’s part of my heritage! I’ll give it back after dinner!”

    (I pressed the emergency button and watched him argue that it was ‘’No big deal’ and his ‘heritage’ with about five security guards. It took the cops to convince him.)

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