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    Social Insecurity, Part 3

    | NV, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

    (I’m one of the owners of a rental company. I had just finished setting up the unit, going over the rental agreement with the customer, and swiping his credit card on my phone.)

    Me: “Okay, sir, would you like us to email you a receipt?”

    Customer: “I really don’t like giving out my email address.”

    Me: “…I just ran your credit card on my phone.”

    Related:
    Social Insecurity, Part 2
    Social Insecurity

    Lost In Holy Translation

    | Australia | Books & Reading, Extra Stupid, Religion

    Me: “Hi! How can I help you?”

    Customer: “Hey, do you have The Bible?”

    Me: “Yeah, heaps. Let me—”

    Customer: “No.” *looking at phone* “I need The Bible by the author… King James!”

    Me: “…”

    Customer: “Do you have it?”

    Me: “Sure…”

    Sadly This Job Isn’t Child’s Play

    | OH, USA | Crazy Requests, Family & Kids

    (I work in an arcade, which also has a kids’ gym. Right by the only entrance and exit, there is a sign which clearly says that employees are not babysitting the area, and that kids may leave without parents. However, I do try and keep the younger kids from leaving without supervision. One day I let two younger boys out to use the bathroom. Less than a minute later, their mother comes up to me.)

    Mother: “Did you see my two sons leave?!”

    Me: “Yes, I let them run to the bathroom.”

    Mother: “WHAT?! Why would you let them out?! One of them is only two!”

    Me: “Ma’am, it’s not my job to watch your kids.”

    Mother: “YOU STILL SHOULDN’T HAVE LET THEM OUT!”

    Me: “Ma’am, please stop yelling. I did ask where they were going, and made sure they knew where the bathrooms were. I also checked that they went in the right direction.”

    Mother: “You still shouldn’t let them out!”

    Cross Them Off Your Shopping List

    | Hayward, CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Religion, Wild & Unruly

    (My partner and I have a stall in a vintage clothing collective. On the day in question, I am working the counter when a woman comes in wanting to sell some clothes.)

    Customer: “I want to sell these.”

    Me: “Okay, let me see what you’ve got.”

    (As I am looking over the clothes, which are mostly from chain stores in the past 10 years, she notices I am wearing a vintage pewter cross.)

    Customer: “Hey! Why are you wearing that cross?!”

    Me: “Um, I like it?”

    Customer: “Hah! Just as I thought! You’re a disgrace! Wearing a cross as a piece of jewelry!”

    Partner: *coming out of the back room* “Technically, it IS a piece of jewelry! And she has every right to wear it.”

    Customer: “Hah! I seriously doubt that! So tell me, are you a Christian?”

    Me: “If you’re asking that question, I’m probably not what YOU would consider a Christian.”

    Customer: “I thought as much! You take that cross off right now, you little heathen!”

    Partner: *becoming very irritated* “Actually, ma’am, we have both attended many churches, including Methodist, Episcopal, and Old Catholic.”

    Me: “I’m currently Religious Scientist.”

    Customer: “I thought as much! Heathens! You aren’t entitled to wear that cross!”

    Me: “I’m as much entitled as you, Ma’am.”

    Partner: “So, if you’re not buying anything, please leave the store and stop harassing us.”

    Customer: “I’m not buying, I’m selling!”

    Partner: “Oh, no, you’re not.”

    Me: “You don’t have any REAL vintage, anyway.”

    Customer: “Well, I never! You girls don’t know how to run a business! I wouldn’t want to sell to a couple of heathens, anyway!”

    (She gathered up her clothes and exited the store in a huff. Thankfully, she never entered our heathen store again.)

    All Men Must Serve

    | NY, USA | Awesome Customers, Books & Reading, Geeks Rule, Language & Words

    (I am the librarian.)

    Patron: “Do you have any books on Japanese architecture? I play the game Minecraft and we’re building Westeros. You know, Game of Thrones? Part of it is going to be Japanese themed.”

    Librarian: “I think we do. Let me look…” *searches the catalog* “Yup, there are some e-books you can get by clicking the links here, or there should be a couple upstairs. Are you able to find things by call number?”

    Patron: “Yeah, I should be able to find it. Thanks!”

    Librarian: “You’re welcome! Valar Morghulis!”

    Patron: “Yeah.” *starts to walk away, but stops suddenly and turns around* “Wait, did you just…”

    Librarian: “Yeah, I really did.”

    Patron: “That’s awesome! Valar Dohaeris!”


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