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    Not The Most Gifted

    | ON, Canada | Extra Stupid, Money, Technology

    Me: “Yes, the iPads are on sale right now, and you get a $40 gift card with them as well.”

    Customer: “What do I do with that?”

    Me: “Um, you buy things with it.”

    Customer: “Oh, ya?”

    Don’t Be Tardy With The Tardis Drink

    , | Ypsilanti, MI, USA | Food & Drink, Geeks Rule, Theme Of The Month

    Me: “Welcome to [Restaurant]. How may I help you?”

    Customer: “I want a large chocolate shake, and can I still get burgers this late?”

    Me: “Absolutely.”

    Customer: “Great! I want the grilled onion cheddar burger, but no cheese.”

    Me: “So just the onions on the burger?”

    Customer: “Yeah, sorry to be so complicated.”

    Me: “It’s no problem, and honestly it’s not that bad. You’d be surprised at the kind of requests I get through here. Can I get anything else for you today?”

    Customer: *joking* “I’d like a large coke in a small cup to go.”

    Me: “Aw, I wish I could, but unfortunately our cups don’t have Time Lord technology, so they aren’t bigger on the inside.”

    Guardians Of The Service Staff

    | Colorado Springs, CO, USA | Awesome Customers, Geeks Rule, Movies & TV, Theme Of The Month

    (It is about two weeks after ‘Guardians of the Galaxy’ has hit theaters. I’ve wanted to see it but haven’t had a chance. A customer comes through my line with a shirt picturing the characters from the movie.)

    Me: *grins* “I like your shirt!”

    Customer: “Yeah! Have you seen it yet?”

    Me: “No, I haven’t had a chance to go yet.”

    Customer: “Go see it right now.”

    Me: *laughs* “I’ll get right on that.”

    Customer: “No, seriously. Close your lane, leave work right now, and go see that movie.”

    Me: *more laughing* “I really wish I could! I’ll see it first chance I get.”

    Customer: “Hey, the customer is always right, right? Tell your boss that the customer said you have to leave and go see a movie!”

    Me: *my coworkers start laughing, too* “I really don’t think that would go over well.”

    (I processed his transaction and handed him his receipt, and as he was leaving he told me again that I should really go see it. That customer made my night.)

    Has Their Bobble Head In The Clouds

    | AZ, USA | Bizarre, Transportation

    (I’ve just finished shopping at a big box retailer in my city. I am heading to my car when I see a middle aged woman wandering around the parking lot pushing a huge cartload of items and looking very dazed and confused. Concerned for her, I make eye contact to get her attention.)

    Me: “Ma’am, are you all right?”

    Customer: “Oh, yes, I just can’t find my car. I’ve been looking for 20 minutes now! I always park right over here. It should be here!”

    (The woman, while shouting some of her phrases, still manages to keep her voice monotone and remains looking very dazed and confused the entire time we speak.)

    Me: “Have you tried the alarm?”

    Customer: “Oh, no. It’s a 20 year old car. There’s no alarm. I just always park over here. It should be here.”

    Me: “Well, what does it look like? Maybe I can spot it.”

    Customer: “It’s a white Buick LeSabre. It should be right here. I always park over here.”

    (I glance to the car parked right beside mine. It is a white Buick LeSabre.)

    Me: “Um, ma’am, is this your car?”

    Customer: “No, no. That’s not my car! I would never have so many bobble heads on the dash! My car should be right around here. I always park here.”

    Me: “Okay, what rows have you looked on? Maybe you parked a little further over than normal?”

    Customer: “No, I always park right around here. My car should be here. I don’t understand where it’s gone.”

    (After a few more minutes of me trying to help the woman and her always responding with “No, it should be right around here. I always park here,” I’ve given up. Just as I am about to take my leave, an employee out collecting carts comes over.)

    Me: “Good luck finding your car, ma’am.”

    Customer: “Thank you. I know it should be here. I always park here.”

    (As I leave, I see the employee begin talking with the woman. 30 minutes later, I have to return to the store as I have forgotten something. I park nearby the same spot and notice the woman, her cartload of groceries, the employee, and now a manager are all standing by the Buick LeSabre I was parked next to before.)

    Manager: “Why don’t you just give that one a try, ma’am?”

    Customer: “No, that’s not my car. I don’t have that many bobble heads. It just has to be around here though. I always park here.”

    Manager: “Please, just try it. It’s the only one in the parking lot. Just put your key in and see if it unlocks.”

    Customer: “Fine, but it’s not my car. I don’t have that many bobble heads on the dash.”

    (The customer puts her key in and, sure enough, the door unlocks.)

    Customer: “But I don’t have that many bobble heads on the dash!”

    Manager: “Ah, there, we’ve found your car. Have a nice day!”

    (The manager motioned to the employee and the two of them practically ran away from the woman before she could say anything else to them. I couldn’t help but laugh as I watched the woman put her groceries into the car and mumble about the bobble heads.)

    The New Job Is Very Loki

    | Oneonta, NY, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Geeks Rule, Theme Of The Month

    (I have been working at the store for a few months. I haven’t had the funds for a haircut, thus my hair is fairly long. I also am sporting a full beard. A couple and their young son come to my register and I ring them up.)

    Me: “That’ll be [total].”

    Child: *who has been staring at me* “Um… excuse me…”

    Me: “Yes?”

    Child: “Are you Thor?”

    Me: *trying not to crack* “Yes, son, I am. I’m actually on an undercover mission from my father, Odin, hunting for Loki. He may be in disguise. Let me know if you see him, all right?”

    Child: “YES, I WILL! WOW! WAIT UNTIL I TELL EVERYONE AT SCHOOL I MET THOR!”

    (It was the highlight of that job. I kept the Thor voice the whole time and his parents gave me the most grateful smiles!)

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