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    A Lot Of Hot Air Over Very Little Gas

    | OH, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Money, Transportation

    (When customers pre-pay for gas with a credit card, but their vehicle won’t take as much as they’ve put on it, the system automatically refunds the remaining portion onto the card that was used. This conversation takes place near the end of a 10-hour shift.)

    Customer: *in a not-so-nice tone* “I sent a kid in here earlier to get gas and he only pumped $17, but I was charged for $25. Why was I over-charged?”

    Me: *looks at his receipt* “Oh, well, it looks like they pre-paid for gas and it was charged to a credit card. The remaining portion would have been automatically refunded to your card.”

    Customer: “I need a receipt showing that it refunded.”

    Me: “I am so sorry, sir, but I can only print receipts for the past 10 transactions, and it looks like the kid you sent in got gas well over two hours ago. There isn’t a way for me to pull it up.”

    Customer: “Well how the h*** am I supposed to know that it refunded? How do I know you didn’t steal my money?”

    Me: “As soon as the nozzle on the pump is hung back up, it refunds automatically. You could actually call your credit company right now, and it would show that the balance is there.”

    Customer: “No! I will not call them! I want you to show me proof right now that you didn’t steal my money!”

    Me: “As I just said, there is nothing I can do. It’s been several hours since this transaction took place, so I can’t look it up. I assure you, if you would just call…”

    Customer: “I need you to write down that I only pumped $17 worth of gas and sign it so I can dispute it when it charges me $25 on my bill!”

    Me: “Sir, I have no idea how much gas you pumped, so I will not sign anything saying you only pumped $17. Furthermore, you’ve been yelling at me for over three minutes during a very busy time and I’m the only person here to ring out the 12 people behind you. I’ve told you that all you have to do is call the number on the back of the card to verify that you were only charged for what you pumped, and yet you’re still unsatisfied. The only other thing I can offer is that you call our customer service center and file a complaint. The number, and our store number are posted right beside you, and my name is on your receipt from earlier.”

    Customer: *shoves a pen and his receipt in my face* “I’m not leaving until you write a statement about my gas and sign it!”

    Me: “If you don’t leave, I will call the police to escort you from the premise.”

    (Just then, one of our regulars, who is a police officer and in uniform, walks in. I sigh in relief, but the customer doesn’t notice.)

    Customer: “You WILL write down that I only pumped $17. I’m not going anywhere!”

    Me: “Hey, [Officer], could you do me a favor?”

    Officer: “That depends… What is it?”

    (The customer looks over at the officer, back at me, and scrambles out the door.)

    Me: “Never mind; he left on his own.”

    A Closing Time Is Half Open Kinda Caller

    | Surrey, BC, Canada | Extra Stupid, Theme Of The Month, Time

    (I receive a phone call about half an hour to close.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [Store]. This is [My Name] speaking. How may I help you?”

    Caller: “What time are you open ’til?”

    Me: “We close in 30 minutes, sir.”

    Caller: “No! I don’t want to know when you close! I want to know how long you’ll be open!”

    Me: “We’re open for another 30 minutes.”

    Caller: “Thanks!” *hangs up*

    (I’ve worked here too long.)

    Snickering At The Service

    , | Sylva, NC, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    (I work at a sandwich shop during my first few years of college. One day during a slow period my two coworkers see this lady come inside on the security cameras. My coworkers immediately say ‘not it!’ so I go up to take care of this woman’s order. The lady is already irritated and being short with me, over something like she’s late or she’s had a bad day. The order is going along fine until we get to the part where she tells me what veggies she wants.)

    Customer: “And now I want the snicker cheese.”

    Me: *confused* “The what?”

    Customer: “The snicker cheese.”

    Me: *still confused* “…like the candy bar?”

    Customer: “Yes, the cheese that tastes like the Snicker’s candy bar.”

    (It turns out she wants the parmesan oregano. I can tell you from experience parmesan oregano tastes nothing like a Snicker’s candy bar. After finishing the woman’s order, I go back and my coworkers ask me what was up with her. I tell them what she said and they both just kind of give me this weird look.)

    Me: “You don’t believe me, do you?”

    Coworker: “No, I believe you. Something that stupid can’t be made up.”

    Closing Time Crime

    , | WA, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers, Theme Of The Month

    (I work at a fast food restaurant that closes at 9:30 pm. A customer comes in just before then, as I am helping close up for the day.)

    Customer: “Hi. I ordered an eight-piece fried chicken during my lunch break, and got baked instead.”

    Me: “All right, sir. I’m terribly sorry. Do you want a refund or a correct order?”

    Customer: “I’d like what I ordered, please. The eight-piece fried chicken meal.”

    Me: “Sure, sir. We’re about to close, so at this point at night, we aren’t making the fried chicken anymore.”

    Customer: “What? But you’re a fried chicken place!”

    Me: “Yes, we are, but we’re also closing for the night.”

    Customer: “Okay, so, can I get an order that’s the same amount of money?”

    Me: “No problem. I just need the receipt and I can get you that, sir.”

    Customer: “The receipt? Oh, I think I threw that away.”

    (I look at him apologetically. I cannot correct an order or give a refund without the receipt.)

    Me: “What? Sir, I cannot give you your meal without the receipt.”

    Customer: “What? It’s just a piece of paper, I had the wrong order earlier and now I want what I paid for!”

    Me: “Sir, we fill out hundreds of orders around lunch time and I would not be able to find your order among them.”

    Customer: “I WANT MY FRIED CHICKEN!”

    Me: “Sir, please lower your voice. We don’t have the fried chicken, and without your receipt I can’t give you a refund.”

    Customer: “[Other Fast Food Chain] doesn’t need receipts to give me my food!”

    Me: “Sir, I am fairly sure they do. Look, it’s closing time but I can try to look through our computer system to find your order.”

    (He suddenly backs down a bit, from menacing to nervous.)

    Customer: “No, no, that’s okay. I’ll just go get dinner somewhere else.”

    (He leaves quickly. My manager walks over to see what it was about, and after I tell him, he shakes his head.)

    Manager: “I’m willing to bet there was no receipt, and he was just after a free meal!”

    An Off-Color Purchase

    | Dedham, MA, USA | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink

    (I work in the beer and wine department of a large supermarket chain. A very elderly customer comes in a couple times a month and asks us to give him two different white wines, six bottles of each. This day, he approaches me.)

    Customer: “Could you help me? I want two red wines, six bottles of each.”

    Me: “What do you typically like?”

    Customer: “I don’t care. What do you think I’ll like?”

    (I suggest a couple wines, he takes them without complaint.)

    Customer: “You know, for ten years I’ve been drinking nothing but white wine, because I didn’t want to spill it and stain the carpet. But you know what I realized? F*** it!”


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