October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

Raspberry Lie, Part 2

| VA, USA | Extra Stupid

(I own a vape shop that sells about 200 flavors of e-juice, which customers can sample before purchasing. My employee working today is doing his best to help a difficult elderly customer.)

Customer: “What does the strawberries & cream taste like?”

Employee: “Well, it has a fresh strawberry flavor with a taste of sweet cream.”

Customer: “Does it taste like strawberries?”

Employee: “Well, yes…”

Customer: “Does it have berries in it?”

Employee: “It is an artificial flavoring, so not actual berries, but it does have the flavor of…..”

Customer: “Ew, no! I hate berries! No berries! Take the berries out!”

Employee: “Sir, we have plenty of other flavors you can try. I can not take the berries out of this one”

Customer: “Well why the h*** not?! I want the strawberries & cream without the berries!”

Employee: “I do have a plain cream flavor if you’d like to try it.”

Customer: “NO! I want this one without the berries! You don’t even listen… You know what… This one here says raspberry lemonade. I’ll just take that”

Me: “Sir, a raspberry is a… Never mind. Great choice. Your total is [total]. Have a great day!”

Raspberry Lie

A Card-Carrying Member Of The Idiot Club

| VA, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Health & Body

Me: “Will this be everything?”

Customer: “Yes.” *watches as I pick up each item, handle it to turn it over, scan it and place it in a bag*

Me: “Your total is [total]. You can slide your card now, right there.”

Customer: *slides card*

Me: “Oh, is it credit? May I see the card?”

Customer: *holds the card in front of my face and waves it back and forth, so I can’t see it*

Me: “Uh…”

Customer: “You can SEE it, but you can’t touch it.” *patronizing smile* “That’s how GERMS get passed around.”

Me: “Well, can you hold it still for just a moment?”

Customer: “I don’t want to catch anything…” *holds card still… and continues lecturing about germs*

Me: “Okay, now you just sign there on the pin pad and hit ‘Done.'”

Customer: “You have to be very careful!” *grabs pin pad and attached pen (which has, by that afternoon, been handled by hundreds of people)* “I never let anyone touch my cards!”

Doesn’t Have A Liquor Sense

| Northampton, MA, USA | At The Checkout, Criminal/Illegal, Food & Drink

(I work in a grocery store with a liquor store attached. You can pay for groceries in the liquor store, but alcohol can only be purchased in the liquor store. A customer comes up with a bottle of liquor.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, you have to pay for that in the liquor store.”

Customer: “What?! Why?”

Me: “Even though the two stores are connected, the liquor license only applies to the liquor store.”

Customer: “That’s ridiculous! Can’t you just sell it to me?”

Me: “Sorry, sir, the register won’t let it go through. And anyway, I’m only 17 so it would be illegal for me to sell you this.”

Customer: “You know, you’d think that with the technology we have we’d have figured this out by now!”

Me: “Well, it’s not really a technological issue. It’s against the law…”

Customer: “The customer is always right!”

You Gave Me Tuna Much

| PA, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

Coworker: *to Manager* “We just got a customer complaint. He said we put two scoops of tuna on his sandwich instead of one.”

Me: “That’s the first time I’ve ever heard of a customer complaining because they got extra!”

Manager: “I know, really!”

Looking For Rated S

| CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Rude & Risque, Technology

(I’m working at a well-known video game chain store when two of our regulars – a man and his teenage son – walk into the store. They browse the shelves for a while before coming over to me.)

Father: *places Call of Duty game on counter* “What is this game rated ‘M’ for?”

Me: “Violence and language, if I remember correctly. Let me check to make sure.”

Father: “No sexual content?”

Me: *checking computer* “No, sir.”

Father: *to son* “Come on, dude, let’s find another game.”

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