(After working late shifts at the local discount retailer, I pull into a fast-food drive thru.)
Drive Thru Worker: “Welcome to [Restaurant], may I take your order?”
Me: “Hi, I’d like a six-inch nugget please.”
(There are a couple seconds of silence, and then I hear the speaker turn on and I hear some laughter and giggles in the background.)
Drive Thru Worker: *barely able to speak without giggling* “Uh… Could you repeat your order?”
Me: “I’d like a six-inch nug— OH MY GOD! No! I want a SIX-PIECE nugget!”
(I complete my order and pull around to see the worker and two of his coworkers red-faced and trying to contain their laughter. In the mean time, I’m no better; my face was red with embarrassment. I pay and get my food, and I couldn’t have gotten out of that queue fast enough! I guess I subconsciously wanted to go to the sub shop that night.)
(It’s about 15 minutes before closing time, and so we have very little hot food left. We do however, continue to sell cold items for customers to take home and cook for themselves.)
Customer: “Do you have any chicken pies still hot?”
Me: “Sorry, mate. We’ve sold out of the chicken pies. I’ve still got some cold ones in the fridge though.”
Customer: “Cold? Like, how cold?”
Me: “As in refrigerated. They’re not frozen, just cold. Uncooked.”
Customer: “Ah, okay. I’ll grab one of those thanks.”
Me: “Sure, that’ll be [price].” *I get the customer his pie*
Customer: “Ugh! So this is really cold! Can you heat this up for me?”
Me: “Sorry, I can’t.”
Customer: “Just real quick, in the microwave?”
Me: “Sorry. Like I said, the cold pies are uncooked. It needs to be cooked in an oven.”
Customer: “Oh. Well, I don’t want this one, then. When you said ‘cold’ I thought you meant, like, ‘sort of warm.’”
(I work at the front counter of a chain store, and am responsible for all tobacco sales during my shift. A customer comes up to the counter and waves a $20 bill at me.)
Me: “Sure. What kind?”
Me: “Sir, I have a lot of different kinds of [Brand]. Which one do you want?”
Customer: *getting annoyed* “[Brand]!”
Me: “Short or long?”
(There is a long pause.)
(I point at the cigarettes at the top left corner and slowly slide my finger along the 12-foot display. I repeat this for every shelf until the customer finally speaks.)
Customer: *excitedly* “Finally! [Brand]!”
(I ring up his cigarettes and the customer leaves.)
Manager: “Does he even speak English?”
Me: “He did yesterday!”
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(I have a service dog and request a booth so he can sit or lie underneath without being in anyone’s way. He wears a bright red vest with the proper identification of his use and I also carry an ID card proving his certifications for use. That also means there is a little bit of a wait unless we make reservations to let them know about the dog and table requests. This happens when waiting for a table.)
Customer: “I didn’t know this was one of those dog friendly places.”
Waitress: “It’s not.”
Customer: “Well you’d better tell that girl over there she needs to put her dog in the car. Wait, you’re not allowed to sass customers are you? Don’t worry. I’ll tell her.” *to me* “Hey, you. B**** with the dog!”
(I’m thinking he sees someone else waiting for a table with their dog but when I look over I see him waving a cane at me.)
Customer: “Yeah. I’m talking to you. Didn’t you hear? You’re not allowed to bring your f****** dog here. You young people think the rules don’t apply to you! Well, let me tell you, sweetie, the rules apply to everyone!”
Me: “He’s a medical dog which makes him allowed everywhere your cane is allowed. So why don’t you turn around and take your self-righteous a** back to your seat and keep your nose out of business you have no right to be in?”
Customer: “You respect your elders, missy! I fought a war for you to be able to take that beast in this fine establishment!”
Me: “I give respect where respect is deserved. You may have fought a war back then but I need this dog because I fought a war so you can keep your freedoms. And as for my beast, he’s better mannered than you are. At least he knows how to act in public.”
(The customer paled before scurrying back to his seat and the other people in the restaurant applauded me. We were given a booth as far away as the man as possible right away and the manager brought out food and water for my dog as well.)