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  • Had It Up To Their Neck With Bad Customers
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    Needs To Wipe That From Her Own Memory

    | Absecon, NJ, USA | Rude & Risque, Technology, Themed Giveaway

    (We have a cell phone section of our store, which I know nothing about, and is the only department I don’t work in. An older man comes up to me holding out his phone, across the store from where phones are located. I’m a 20-year-old female.)

    Customer: “Excuse me? Do you know anything about cell phones?”

    Me: “Sorry, no, but I can take you over to [Coworker], who does.”

    (I start to walk over to phones, but he stops me first and takes out his phone.)

    Customer: “Do you think I need more memory on my phone? You see, I have to hide this from my wife.”

    (He opens his pictures and videos. All there is is porn.)

    Me: “Uhm… I don’t know… Let me take you to [Coworker.]”

    (I start to walk again, and again he stops me.)

    Customer: “Look how clear the videos are!”

    (He starts playing a video, of hardcore porn.)

    Me: “Uh… yeah, it’s very clear. But I really don’t know anything about phones so…”

    (He keeps playing video after video, and finally a male coworker walks by.)

    Me: “Hey! [Coworker], can you help this ‘gentleman’ with his phone and memory cards?”

    (I practically ran away.)

    Requires Protection From Customers

    | Watseka, IL, USA | Language & Words, Rude & Risque, Themed Giveaway

    (The store has just opened, and the first customer in the store is a very elderly gentleman in an electric wheelchair. He approaches me in the hardware department.)

    Me: “Good morning, sir. Can I help you find anything?”

    Customer: *after long pause* “… I need screws.”

    Me: “Okay, the screws are right here behind me. What size do you need?”

    Customer: *points* “Hand me that box.”

    (I hand him the box, and he opens it and removes one screw.)

    Customer: “Now… I need protection for my screw. Where would I get that?”

    Me: “Well, the nuts and washers are all right here.”

    Customer: “No…” *doing air quotes with his fingers* “‘PROTECTION,’ for my ‘SCREWS.’”

    Me: “I don’t follow you, sir…”

    Customer: *talking under his breath* “… rubbers.”

    Me: “Rubbers?”

    Customer: *yelling* “CONDOMS, OK?! I NEED CONDOMS!”

    Me: “Sir, this is a farm supply store… We don’t sell those.”

    Customer: “Oh, okay.” *hands me back the screws* “Put these back, I don’t need them.”

    It’s Not Cute

    | Aurora, CO, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Rude & Risque, Themed Giveaway

    (At my store we sell a brand of clementines known as ‘Cuties.’. Sadly, this is kind of a common occurrence.)

    Me: “Sir, would you like your cuties in the box or in a bag?”

    Customer: *takes them out of the box and hands it to me* “This is for you, because you’re such a cutie.” *winks*

    Me: “Um… thanks…” *smiles awkwardly and finishes the transaction* “All right, sir, your total is [amount]. Would you like any help out to your car tonight?”

    Customer: “Will you be the one helping me out?”

    Me: “No, that would be him.” *points to the male courtesy clerk*

    Customer: *face falls* “Then, no.”

    5 Stories Of Customers Boldy Going

    | Not Always Right | Roundups

    Weekly Roundup: 5 Stories About Customers Boldly Going! The Final Frontier of customer service…

    1. Star Trek Names: The Next Generation (5,717 thumbs up)
    2. Fish Trek 2: It All Goes Downstream From Here (4,912 thumbs up)
    3. In Spock We Trust (2,527 thumbs up)
    4. Klingon To The Hope Of A Ticket (10,233 thumbs up)
    5. Hailing Frequencies Open But Nobody’s Home (2,844 thumbs up)

    PS #1: check out our Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news!

    PS #2: Read more roundups here!

    Her Logic Isn’t Adding Up

    | IN, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Math & Science

    Me: “All right, your total comes to $26.48. Will that be cash, check, or card?”

    Customer: “Card, please.”

    (We finish the transaction. When I hand the customer her receipt, she squints suspiciously at it.)

    Me: “… Um, is something the matter?”

    Customer: “That doesn’t sound right. It’s too high. You must have overcharged me.”

    Me: “Well, let’s take a look at your receipt. This item was about $10, these two were $5, this was $3, and this was $1. And there was sales tax, too. It can add up quickly.”

    Customer: “I don’t believe your math. You overcharged me! This is way too much for what I bought.”

    (I pull out a calculator and add each item’s exact price together. I also calculate sales tax and add that to the total, which comes out to $26.48, the exact amount she paid.)

    Customer: “No, you added wrong! I don’t believe your math!”

    (I add everything again, slower.)

    Customer: “I don’t believe your math!”

    Me: “I don’t know what to tell you, ma’am. I’ve just proved to you that I charged you the correct price. If you’re not happy with your purchases, you can return them here.”

    Customer: “No, I need these things. I’ll take them even though you overcharged me!”


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