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  • Fired Before You’re Hired

    | WI, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests

    (I’m at a very large store with my mother. While she is getting some groceries, I wander to the electronics area. I hadn’t realized that I was wearing a shirt similar colored to the ones the employees wear, and a keychain around my neck. I heard a customer asking someone for help for some while, but I obviously had nothing to do with it.)

    Customer: *angrily storms up to right beside me* “EXCUSE ME!

    Me: “Sorry?”

    Customer: *visibly irritated and switching a baby from hip to hip* “I’ve been trying to get your help for the past two minutes! I need you to open up the games’ case!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, I can’t help you. I actua—”


    Me: “Ma’am, I don’t w—”

    Customer: “I want to see your manager! He NEEDS to know that you’re just lazying about, refusing to help those who PAY your bills!”

    Me: “See, that’s impossible because I actually work at—”

    (The customer angrily storms off and I just sort of shrug it off. I continue browsing and start to make my way over to back by my mom a few minutes later when the enraged customer and an obvious employee come over.)

    Customer: “Yeah! This is the f****** lazy dumb-a** who was refusing to help me!”

    Employee: *annoyed* “Where’s your name tag? What’s your name?”

    Me: *fed up* “I don’t work here!”

    Customer: “Yeah, not anymore you lazy b****! You’re too stupid to even work at [Store]!”

    Employee: “Which department are you because I want to speak with the department manager about their negligence in supervision!”

    (At this time, my mom came around because I’d been taking so long, and she gets pulled into the argument. It took fifteen minutes and the electronics department manager before they told me to ‘just not come in for the next shift.’ I got fired from a job I never had.)

    Tourists From The Land Of Irony

    | Wales, UK | Crazy Requests, Tourists/Travel

    (Wales is currently enjoying a heat wave; temperatures in our popular beach resort have averaged about 28°C (about 82°F) for nearly a fortnight and the town and beach are completely packed out with holidaymakers and day-trippers.)

    Customer: “Hi, I’d like to complain.”

    Me: “I’m sorry to hear that; what’s the problem?”

    Customer: “There’s too many tourists.”

    Me: “Oh, well you can blame Mr. Sunshine for that; it’s been packed to capacity here since the schools broke up for summer. Everyone wants a splash in the sea!”

    Customer: “Yeah, I know. I mean, that’s why we came. We drove down for the day from [Major Midland City]. We just didn’t think it would be busy.”

    Me: “You didn’t think the first Saturday of the school holidays that is also the hottest day of the year so far for Wales would cause [Town] to become busy?”

    Customer: “Well… no.”

    Me: “I’m sorry you aren’t happy but there isn’t a lot I can do from here.”

    Customer: “Well, that’s not fair. I’ve spent £40 filling my car with petrol and had to sit in queues of traffic. I want an empty beach!”

    Me: “Well, there’s quieter beaches than [Town]. Since you have a car maybe you could drive to [Nearby Beach] or [Other Nearby Beach]. Those are accessed over sand dunes so a lot of people don’t go there.”

    Customer: “So now you’re telling me I’ve wasted £3.50 on an all-day parking ticket?”

    Me: “Well, if you want to stay in [Town] then you can. If you want to go to a quieter beach and come back to [Town] for food then your ticket will still be valid.”

    Customer: “Hrrmph. I suppose so. I wish you wouldn’t let tourists here though. It spoils it.”

    Turn Off The Holy Light

    | NC, USA | Crazy Requests, Hotels & Lodging

    (I work at a hotel near a well-known liberal arts university. A dog show was recently hosted at its athletics complex, and some very… interesting… guests were attracted to it. This call took place just before midnight.)

    Me: “Good evening, front desk. This is [My Name].”

    Guest: “Yes, hi, I’m in room [number]. I was wondering if you could help me out. My Pomeranian gets excited when he sees lights shining on buildings, and he won’t stop barking at a nearby building.”

    Me: “Well… could you describe the building to me, ma’am?”

    Guest: “Yes. It’s a tall green steeple with a clock on it, like you’d see on top of a church.”

    Me: “Ma’am, I think you’re describing the chapel at the university.”

    Guest: “Okay. Do you know if they turn the lights off?”

    Me: “They don’t, I’m afraid. Would it be possible just to shut your curtains?”

    Guest: “Oh, I don’t think I can do that. I really need the curtains open… I can’t sleep when it’s totally dark.”

    Me: “Okay, well, if it’s going to be an issue for your dog, I’d be happy to help you move to a room that faces either the courtyard or the golf course.”

    Guest: “Well… I’d rather not do that. Do you think you could just call the university and ask them to turn the lights off?”

    (At this point, I fall silent in astonishment. She’s basically wanting me to call the police department of the university and ask them to turn off the lights on the most recognizable landmark on the campus, simply so her little precious will shut up.)

    Me: “Well, ma’am, I’m afraid that that’s not something I can do. However, again, there are several options, and I’d be happy to accommodate you with any of them.”

    Guest: “So you’re not going to accommodate my request, though?”

    Me: “Ma’am, I am happy to accommodate any requests that are within my power to fulfill. This one is not.”

    Guest: *hangs up*

    (Three days later, I get called into the manager’s office.)

    Manager: “So I got a nasty email from a guest this weekend, saying you wouldn’t help her out. What’s up with this?”

    (I tell the manager the whole story.)

    Manager: “Huh. Well, don’t worry. She was rude to half the staff anyway.”


    | NY, USA | Bad Behavior, Home Improvement, Liars & Scammers

    (I work at a very high-end store. One of the perks we enjoy is that every year we get exclusive collections of expensive clothing, furniture, and other household items that you wouldn’t be able to find anywhere else. On this particular day a woman storms up to my register brandishing a piece of silverware from one such collection.)

    Woman: “Hey, do you have any more of these in stock?”

    Me: “Certainly, ma’am. We just got a fresh shipment in last week.”

    Woman: “Good, I’ll take two sets to be delivered to my apartment. And be quick about it! I have to catch a train in ten minutes!”

    (Ignoring her abrasive attitude, I quickly and efficiently ring her up, get her shipping details, and log the silverware to be sent off. She then practically rips the receipt out of my machine the instant it’s printed and runs out of my area. I think nothing more of this and go back to tidying the shelves up when, around an hour later, I get paged to help someone in the kitchen area nearby. Upon walking over I discover the same woman being helped by one of my co-workers.)

    Coworker: “Ah, [My Name], this woman here is wondering if we have any pots and pans that match the silverware she just purchased from you. Thought you might be able to help her out with that. She’s in a bit of a hurry.”

    (The woman looks at me and promptly turns sheet white.)

    Me: “Hello again! Um… did your train get delayed?”

    Coworker: “Train? No, she said she had a dental appointment.”

    Me: “Oh… well, I’m sorry. I heard train and—”

    (The woman promptly cuts me off with an agonizing scream.)

    Woman: “Okay I admit it! I hate your f****ing store and every d*** s***-head that works here! If I had my way I’d have had this whole block demolished decades ago, but you’re the only place that carries [Designer] brand exclusive items so I’m trying to just get my stuff and get out of here as quick as possible so I don’t have to spend too long speaking to you f***ers! There, you happy now?!”

    Me: *stunned* “Well… uh… not really, but if it helps at all you don’t have to lie to us like that. We can handle the occasional low opinion.”

    Woman: “Burn in Hell!” *storms out*

    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 35

    | USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Money

    (As an employee at the store I work at, it is part of my job to ask our customers if they’d like to apply for a store credit card. A customer in her twenties comes through my line.)

    Me: “Would you like to save [percent] by applying for a [Store] charge card?”

    Customer: “Sure!”

    (The applications go through our computer and the customer is immediately approved and a paper prints out with the credit limit and card number.)

    Me: “Okay, it looks like you were approved today! You should get your [Store] card in the mail within the next two weeks. If you would like to put your purchase on your card today, it would save you another [percent]. Would you like to put it on the card? You can even pay it off in the store after we’re done.”

    Customer: “Sure.”

    (We put the purchase on the card and everything goes smoothly until the end.)

    Me: “Okay, and would you like to pay your card off today or would you like to wait until you get your statement in the mail?”

    Customer: “What? I have to pay for it twice?”

    Me: “No, you haven’t actually paid for it yet. You put it on the store charge card.”

    Customer: “Yeah, so why do I have to pay for it again?”

    Me: “The store charge card is just like any other credit card. It has to be paid for after you use it.”

    Customer: “What’s a credit card?”

    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 34
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 33
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 32

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