Has No Room To Maneuver

| USA | Crazy Requests, Hotels & Lodging

Lady: “I’d like a room.”

Me: “I’m sorry, we have no more.”

Lady: “What? WHY NOT?!”

Me: “Because we have run out of rooms to sell.”

Lady: “Don’t be smart!”

Me: “You want me to act dumb?”

Lady: “No! I want YOU to give ME a room!”

Me: “Look, we don’t have any more. I don’t know–.”

Lady: “Ridiculous! Absolutely ridiculous! I come in a hotel, and they don’t have rooms?! What madness is this?”

Me: “Um—”

Lady: “The whole POINT of hotels is to have rooms. Otherwise, it’s like me going into a mattress store and they have no mattresses! Or a hardware store and they have no wrenches!”

Me: “I’m sure that even hardware stores run out of wrenches every once in a while… As for the mattress stores, they have plenty of stock in their warehouse for delivery. We can’t ‘deliver’ rooms and we have no warehouse.”

Lady: “Stop being an a**!”

(She ranted and raved about the ‘insane’ idea of a hotel having no rooms, and was eventually escorted off by security, still screaming!)

Needs To Get That Chip Off Their Shoulder

| BC, Canada | At The Checkout, Bizarre

(I work in a jewelry store in Canada. In Canada, chip-enabled credit cards are the norm, since they provide extra security against fraud, and the cashier doesn’t have to check ID or take a signature. However, my company’s policy is to ALWAYS check customer ID with credit cards, even if they have a chip – no matter how small the purchase is.)

Customer: “Yes, I’ll take the bracelet. Thank you.”

Me: “Fantastic! How would you like to pay today?”

Customer: “Visa, please.”

Me: “No problem, but could I just see a piece of photo ID with the credit card, please?”

Customer: “But it has a chip. You don’t need ID with a chip card. That’s the whole point of the chip.”

Me: “I’m so sorry, sir, it’s just our company policy in order to protect you and other customers when paying with credit. If you’d prefer to pay with a debit card or cash, I won’t need to see any ID at all.”

Customer: “This has never happened to me before! The whole point of a CHIP is so that I don’t need ID!”

Me: “I’m so sorry, sir! If you’d like to run home and grab a debit card or cash, I’d be happy to hold your bracelet for you.”

Customer: “That’s the strangest thing I’ve ever heard. How ridiculous. Could you get your manager?”

Me: “Of course, I’d be happy to.”

(As I move to fetch my manager, the customer grins and throws down two pieces of valid government issued photo ID that match his card.)

Customer: “I’m sorry, sweetheart. I was just teasing you. It’s true I’ve never had this happen to me before, but it’s a really good policy! Good for you for not backing down!”

(I am utterly speechless, but we finish the transaction pleasantly enough)

Customer: “I feel terrible for bugging you like that, but you can tell your manager you’re a star!”

Rollover win

Acting Completely Out Of Line

| San Diego, CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Movies & TV

(I am the cinema manager for a nonprofit theatre. We are tiny (less than 50 seats), and we usually allow guests to congregate in the lounge. However, we have just opened a controversial film that was pulled due to threats right before its release, so we are handling massive demand on the opening weekend. I’m working at the front desk when this happens, about 30 minutes before show-time, and about five to eight minutes before opening the theatre for seating. A customer comes to the desk.)

Customer #1: “Can we go in now?”

Me: “No, I’m sorry. The previous show is still running. We’ll open up the auditorium about 20 to 25 minutes before show-time. In the meantime, you can join the ticket holders line.”

(I gesture outside; it’s winter in south California and a sunny 65 degrees.)

Customer #1: *looking around* “Where is the line?”

Me: “Right outside.”

(I gesture again; our lobby windows are glass, and you can clearly see the line stretching along the sidewalk.)

Customer #1: “It’s outside? I’m not going to wait outside.”

Me: “Well, you are free to wait in the lounge, but we will be seating from the line. If you’d like to wait inside, you can join the end of the line as it goes in.”

Customer #1: “So if I wait inside I’ll lose my place in line? That’s unacceptable. I’m waiting right here.”

Me: “Ma’am, you are free to wait inside, but the line will seat first. We’ve had other guests waiting there for an hour or more.”

(The customer’s husband walks up and offers to wait in the line for them, but she cuts him off.)

Customer #1: “This is ridiculous! It’s the middle of winter! It’s too cold to wait outside!”

Me: “I understand your frustration, and we would absolutely accommodate our patrons in case of severe weather. However, again, many guests have stood outside for a very long time, and it wouldn’t be fair to allow you to skip the line. It looks like we’ll be ready for seating in a few minutes. You won’t be outside long at all.”

Customer #1: “Well, I’m going to wait right here, and I’m going in first.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but if you wait inside, you won’t be allowed into the theatre until we have let the guests in line enter. Again, it’s only a few minutes.”

Customer #1: “You should move the line inside! You know what? I’m going to move the line inside.”

(I watch, stunned, as she steps outside and makes an announcement. The line starts moving through the door. I jump up.)

Me: “I’m so sorry, everyone, but we aren’t quite ready to seat yet. It should be less than five minutes.”

Customer #2: “But SHE told us to move inside!”

Me: “I apologize, but she doesn’t work here. If you guys will be patient for a few more minutes, we are almost ready to seat. It should be less than five minutes. Thanks for your patience.”

(I gave a brief summary to those patient guests waiting for an hour at the front of the line that had come in at her urging, and I guess that it spread, because there were quite a few guests offering sympathies from at least the first part of the queue.)

You’re Minnow Good

| MA, USA | Crazy Requests, Pets & Animals

(A customer comes into our fish department and points at the minnows.)

Customer: “I want 30 these!”

(Being the new girl in training, I count out 30 minnows, bag them, and start tying off the bag. Then, after watching me the entire time closely, the customer speaks up.)

Customer: “They too small! You grabbed small ones!”

(So my trainer comes over to see what the problem is. I explain I grabbed all the minnows from the large minnow tank and my trainer confirms this with the customer. However the customer continues:)

Customer: “She grabbed all small ones and I want big ones!”

(The coworker training me wanted to choke him with a bag but instead dumped the 30 fish back into the tank and re-caught 30 ‘bigger’ minnows. They were all the same size.)

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