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    Turning Right Is Apparently Wrong

    | Calgary, AB, Canada | Extra Stupid, Geography, Technology

    (I work in a campground that is just outside of the city limits. We are off a highway that has the ‘Welcome to our city’ sign on it, and which is the only way in or out of the city for miles. A customer comes in with a GPS.)

    Customer: “I’d like to get into the city. What should I program into the GPS?”

    Me: “Oh, it’s quite simple, just exit the campground and turn right. The highway leads into the city.”

    Customer: “But what should I program into the GPS?”

    Me: “Are you looking for a particular location?”

    Customer: “No, I just want to get into the city itself. Can you tell my GPS what directions it should give me?”

    Me: “All you have to do is turn right and follow the highway. You won’t need your GPS. Once you pass the ‘Welcome’ sign you should begin to see buildings.”

    Customer: “But how do I get into the city? I need my GPS to tell me what to do!”

    (I give up, and program the GPS with the coordinates of a gas station just past the ‘Welcome’ sign.)

    GPS: “Turn right. In five kilometers, you will reach your destination.”

    Customer: “Hey, the city is just down the road! You could have just told me to turn right!”

    It’s All Sliding Downhill From Here

    | IN, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (An elderly gentleman wearing a wife beater that is tucked into his underwear slowly makes his way to the counter to pick up his pizza. After a seemingly normal transaction with a sane customer, he picks up his pizza and turns to walk out the door. As he turns he tilts the pizza vertically and puts it under his arm (like carrying a book). I and some fellow employees watch in amazement as we imagine the hot pizza cheese sliding into a clump.)

    Manager: “He’s going to be calling back…”

    (About fifteen minutes later, the phone rings.)

    Me: “[Pizza], how can I help you?”

    Customer: “I’d like to speak to a manager, please.”

    Me: “Right away.”

    Manager: “This is [Manager]. How can I help you?”

    Customer: “Yes, my pizza was clumped on one side of the box and the cheese had slide off the pizza. I’d like a new one!”

    Making A Meal Out Of It, Part 2

    | Pekin, IL, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Holidays

    (I work in the deli section. The deli has special holiday dinners you order and take home. All customers are told their order is pre-cooked; they just need to warm it up. Lots of customers call and say that they were under the impression that their meal would be hot, but one customer took the cake on that…)

    Me: Thank you for calling [Store]. How can I help you today?

    Caller: “I ordered one of your holiday meals, and I am not happy with it.”

    Me: “Can you explain what made you dissatisfied, Ma’am?”

    Caller: “I thought it would be hot.”

    Me: “No, Ma’am. All of the holiday meals are pre-cooked. You just have to heat them up.”

    Caller: “No one told me this!”

    Me: “Ma’am, did you place the order yourself?”

    Caller: “Yes, but no one said anything about ME having to cook!”

    Me: “Ma’am, whoever took your order should have made it clear that you don’t have to cook, just use the warmer setting on your oven, or use a microwave. If you received a copy of your order form, it also clearly states that you just heat and serve.”

    Caller: “Fine. That is not such a big problem, but I paid $50 for this, and it’s not complete!”

    Me: “What is missing from your order? We can locate it, and have it ready for you to pick up from [Store] within twenty minutes.”

    Caller: “The dishes.”

    Me: “Excuse me, ma’am?”

    Caller: “The DISHES! You know the white china in the ad? Isn’t it included? I paid $50, and you lousy workers didn’t cook it for me, OR give me the CHINA I PAID FOR!”

    Me: “Ma’am, you don’t get dishes with the meal. Only the food.”

    Caller: “Why charge me so much if you aren’t going to provide everything? Take it off the d*** ad, then! You are misleading the public!” *click*

    Related:
    From Not Always Friendly:
    Making A Meal Out Of It

    An Extra Toast To All The Idiots

    | Round Rock, TX, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Top

    (I work at a restaurant making sandwiches. My coworker asked me to talk to a customer over the phone who wanted to voice a complaint about food he ordered several days ago.)

    Me: “Hello. Thank you for calling [Restaurant]. What can I help you with today?”

    Customer: “Yes, hi. Uh, I ordered a sandwich from y’all a while ago, and the bread was too hard for me. I’d like the names of the employees working so I can leave a complaint.”

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that ,sir. Please tell me about the order so I can rectify the problem.”

    Customer: “Well, I ordered the steak and cheese foot long, and when I tried eating it the bread was too crunchy.”

    Me: “Uh, sure… Did you have this sandwich toasted, by any chance?”

    Customer: “Yes, I did. Why?”

    Me: “Well, usually when you toast a sandwich, the bread tends to get kind of crunchy, ’cause, you know, It’s toasted…”

    Customer: “Well, it was too toasted!”

    Me: “Okay… Did you tell the employee that you didn’t want it as toasted?”

    Customer: “Well, I wanted it extra toasted, but that was too much!”

    Me: “So, let me understand this: your complaint is that the sandwich you wanted extra toasted, more than recommended, was in fact too toasted?”

    Customer: “Are you being smart with me here?!”

    Me: “Someone in this conversation has to be.”

    Seems To Have Enough Baggage Already

    | MA, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests

    (I am in the middle of ringing up Customer #1, when the next person in line dumps her purchases on the counter. She then seems to notice the items I am scanning for Customer #].)

    Customer #2: “Those aren’t mine.”

    Me: “I know. I’ll be with you as soon as I’m done.”

    Customer #2: *looks annoyed*

    (Customer #1 only has a few items that are easily carried by hand, so I ask him whether he wants a bag or not. As soon as he leaves, I start to scan Customer #2′s items, and bag them for her as well. She has several small items.)

    Customer #2: *clearly offended* “Why didn’t you ask me if I wanted a bag?”

    Me: “Sorry?”

    Customer #2: *gestures towards the retreating back of Customer #1* “You asked HIM if HE wanted a bag! Why wouldn’t you ask me the same thing?”

    Me: “Um… I figured you might need one?”

    Customer #2: “You should have asked!”

    Me: “I’m sorry. Would you like a bag?”

    Customer #2: “OF COURSE I want a bag!”


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