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    Not Always Right: The Comic!

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    They say a picture tells a thousand words, so we are very excited to introduce ‘Not Always Right: The Comic!’ Every other week, you can look forward to a painful (but hilarious) customer moments inspired by our best stories and written by our awesome co-authors – you!

    Follow the woes of TJ, stuck flipping burgers at Snackdonalds, or Charlie, forced to smile at the moron customers of NotsMart (pictured below), and many more colorful characters that you’ll root for in the fight against customers who are “Not Always Right!”

    BIO_TJ_final
    BIO_charlie_final
    You can see our first two comics here!

    A Whopper Of A Mistake

    , | Frankfort, KY, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (I work at a popular fast food chain which just so happens to be placed right next to a fairly popular burger place. Today I am working drive-thru for the first time when this happens.)

    Me: “All right, take your time and order when you’re ready.”

    Customer: “Okay, I’ll take a Whopper with no pickles.”

    Me: “Um, we don’t have that.”

    Customer: “That’s okay; I’ll just have a burger then.”

    Me: “We don’t sell those either.”

    Customer: “Then what do you have?”

    Me: “We sell roast beef.”

    (By this time the customer has realized something is amiss.)

    Customer: “Where am I?”

    Me: “You’re at [Store].”

    Customer: “Oh, my god, I’m in the wrong place.”

    (With that she takes off and I give her a friendly wave as she passes by. Needless to say everyone in the store is laughing as my manager comes to the front.)

    Manager: “What happened?”

    Me: “Customer was wanting [Burger Place] and came here by mistake.”

    Manager: “That happens a lot. My favorite is when they come inside and still try to order from the wrong menu.”

    I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 17

    | Fort Hood, TX, USA | Crazy Requests

    (I am browsing the video game section of a big box retailer wearing normal clothes, with my five-year-old son in tow.)

    Customer: “Excuse me; can you unlock this iPad for me?”

    Me: “Oh, I don’t work here. But the guy over there—”

    Customer: “Why not?!”

    Me: “I’m… sorry?”

    Customer: “Why can’t you unlock it for me?!”

    Me: “Because I don’t work here?”

    Customer: “THAT’S NOT AN EXCUSE!”

    Related:
    I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 16
    I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 15
    I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 14

    What Would Jesus Do For Free Wifi

    | Toledo, OH, USA | Crazy Requests, Religion, Technology

    (I used to work for an Internet broadband company, and in addition to technical questions, I would also have to be able to resolve billing issues. The customer who calls this time, however, has an interesting take on things:)

    Me: “Let’s take a look at your account. Just give me one moment to call—”

    Caller: MY INTERNET’S BUSTED!

    Me: “I’m sorry to hear that, ma’am; it will take just one moment. Ah, here we go. It seems that this account has not been paid on for three months, so we have suspended yo—”

    Caller: “WHY’S MY INTERNET SHUT OFF?!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I can understand your frustration, but due to non-payment, we’ve suspended your account. However, if you would like to make a credit card payment over the phone, I can go ahead an—”

    Caller: “I DON’T HAVE A CREDIT CARD! WHY IS MY INTERNET NOT WORKING?!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but I can’t turn you back on until a portion of the balance is paid off. if you are able to make a partial payment o—”

    Caller: “TURN ME BACK ON! I NEED MY INTERNET!” *in a suddenly quiet voice* “Jesus wouldn’t have turned me off.”

    Me: *startled blink* “Pardon, ma’am?”

    Caller: *gaining steam* “I said, Jesus wouldn’t have turned me off! I don’t have the money to pay for this, but he wouldn’t have shut me off!”

    Me: “…I do apologize ma’am, but I don’t see where this is relevant to your overdue bill—”

    Caller: “JESUS LOVED EVERYONE AND WOULD HAVE GIVEN ME FREE INTERNET!”

    Me: “Ma’am, do you remember biblical quotes? Wasn’t it Jesus himself who said, ‘render unto Caesar, that which is Caesar’s, and render unto God, that which is God’s?'”

    Caller: *silence*

    Me: “Anyway, I cannot turn you back on until you’ve made a payment.”

    Caller: “LET ME SPEAK TO YOUR MANAGER!”

    Me: “My pleasure!”

    Tree Talk

    | The Philippines | Bizarre

    (I receive a call from a guy who’s calling on behalf of his friend and acting as the account owner. It’s pretty obvious because I can hear the account owner in the background providing his account info.)

    Me: “Hi, my name is [My Name]; may I have your phone number, please?”

    Friend: *whispers* “Dude, what’s your phone number?”

    Account Owner: *from the background* “It’s [number].”

    Friend: “Hi, yes. It’s [number].”

    Me: “Thank you! Now, may I have your name?”

    Friend: *whispers* “Dude, what is the complete name on your account?”

    Account Owner: *from the background* “It’s [Full Name].”

    Friend: “Sure, [Full Name].”

    (The friend kept chatting with the account owner and is no longer paying attention to what I’m asking.)

    Me: “[Name]!”

    Friend: “Oh! I’m sorry about that. Can you please repeat your question?”

    Me: “This is the last time I will ask this question, if I don’t get the answer I will have to disconnect this call! What… is… the.. name… of… the STREEEET… that you grew up on?!”

    Friend: *he is rattled and whispers* “Dude, what’s the name of TREE that you grew up on?”

    Account Owner: *from the background* “What the f***, dude?”

    Friend: “Didn’t you ask for the tree name?”

    Account Owner: *now shouting from the background* “Just what the f*** is your problem with me? Stop messing around! If you wanna play, wait for your turn!”

    Me: *laughing and can barely speak* ” “Uh, sir…”

    Friend: *shaky voice* “What is it you are asking for?”

    Me: “I’m asking for the name of the… name of the…” *mute and laugh* “streeeet, please.”

    Friend: *click*

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