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  • Had It Up To Their Neck With Bad Customers
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    Putting The Relation Into Relationship, Part 7

    | USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Spouses & Partners, Themed Giveaway

    (I am visiting my boyfriend while he is working temporarily at a gas station. Note: We look nothing alike. He has very dark features where as I am of Irish descent, and look it. An elderly gentleman walks in.)

    Customer: “Would you look at those eyes!” *gets very close to my face and grabs my head* “Those are the greenest eyes I have ever seen! Like emeralds!”

    Me: *very uncomfortable* “Um… thank you, sir.”

    Customer: “You are just gorgeous!”

    (He continues gushing about my eyes until he turns to my boyfriend.)

    Customer: “And you have that dark thick hair! You two are a good match. You will make the most beautiful babies!”

    Boyfriend: “Umm… okay. Is there anything I can help you with today?”

    Customer: “I’m serious! GORGEOUS babies will come out of you two.”

    (With both of us very uncomfortable, he finally stops and tells my boyfriend what he needs. Relieved, he gets him the items and we both hope he leaves soon. But, he continues to make conversation.)

    Customer: “So. You two are brother and sister? That’s nice.”

    (We were both speechless after that.)

    Related:
    Putting The Relation Into Relationship, Part 6
    From NotAlwaysRelated.com
    Putting The Relation Into Relationship, Part 5
    From NotAlwaysRomantic.com
    Putting The Relation Into Relationship, Part 4
    Putting The Relation Into Relationship, Part 3
    Putting The Relation Into Relationship, Part 2

    This Caller Has Been Barred

    | CO, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Hotels & Lodging, Rude & Risque, Themed Giveaway

    (I’m the night auditor. It’s about 3 am and the phone rings.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [Hotel]. How may I help you?”

    Caller: “Yeah, I just wanted to check rates for these dates.”

    Me: “Absolutely. We have two queens or a king for these prices.”

    Caller: “Oh, okay. What is there to do in the area?”

    Me: “We’re popular for our hiking trails and outdoor activities, as well as our variety of small breweries—”

    Caller: “Are there any gay bars?”

    Me: “Not that I know of.”

    Caller: “What?! No gay bars?!”

    Me: “I’m afraid not.”

    Caller: “Well… where do you go?”

    Me: “To… the regular bars?”

    Caller: “Okay, because I got a couple of lesbians coming there for their honeymoon.”

    Me: “Well, I assure you there are plenty of bars to choose from. So, how many nights shall I book you for?”

    Caller: “Oh, I’ll have to talk to them.” *click*

    (He called and had the exact same conversation with me three more times in two weeks before getting my manager, who told him he needed to stop harassing me.)

    Should Have Released The Booking

    | Fort Collins, CO, USA | Bizarre, Health & Body, Hotels & Lodging, Rude & Risque, Themed Giveaway

    (The phone rings at about 4 am.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [Hotel]. This is [My Name]. How may I help you?”

    Caller: “Yes. I need to place a reservation for Monday, checking out Wednesday.”

    Me: “Absolutely. Let me check the rates for those nights.”

    (We continue our conversation; he is booking a room normally enough until I ask for credit card information.)

    Me: “Okay, you’re all set. I just need a credit card to hold the room.”

    Caller: *sounding a little taken aback* “Oh, yes… of course… Let me get my card for you. Hold on.”

    (This is followed by two minutes of muffled sounds.)

    Caller: *clearly out of breath* “Okay, sorry, had to go upstairs. Hang on, let me grab it.”

    Me: “Umm. Okay.”

    (Another 45 seconds of muffled panting.)

    Caller: “All right. Got it.” *gives me the number* “So… have you ever just, you know, needed a release?”

    Me: *pretending to not hear the question* “I’m sorry.? What was that?”

    Caller: “Okay. Thanks for all your help!” *hangs up*

    (He never showed up or called to cancel and his credit card info was expired.)

    Had It Up To Their Neck With Bad Customers

    | Norway | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Health & Body, Rude & Risque

    (When I was born, there were serious complications, and doctors had to step in to keep both me and my mother alive. They tore all my muscles and damaged a lot of nerves in my neck. I went to a physical therapist for many years. I hardly ever notice it now, 20 years later, but once in a while, after lifting heavy items for a long period of time, my back acts up and it hurts a lot. All of my coworkers know this, and despite this, I’m a very hard worker. A customer in his 40s walks in, skips right across the line, and to me, where I’m currently working on a problem with a coffee machine. He sets an empty can of gas, the steel type, down on the floor next to me. I have equipment all over the counter and floor, trying to figure out the problem with the machine. It is also worth mentioning that I live in a small town, where everyone knows everyone. I have hardly ever dealt with rude customers because of this, and it’s well known that we can take abuse until a certain point.)

    Customer: “I need you to go out to your gas cabinet and fetch me a new one of these.”

    Me: “Sure, let me just clean up a little here.”

    Customer: “Do you think I have time for that?! Do you know who I am? I have other places to be!”

    Me: “All right, then.”

    (I shuffle all the pieces and tubes onto the counter, hoping no one will brush them off and step on them. I run out to the cabinet, open the lock, grab a new can, and head back inside. Right as I walk into the store, I get insanely painful cramps in my back, I manage to scoot over to the customer and set the can down, obviously in pain, but I smile and shrug it off to my coworkers.)

    Customer: “You teens are so useless these days! All you do is stare at your phones and your computers! Look at you, you can’t even carry a can of gas! You’re all useless! Now hurry up, for f*** sake! I’m going to a very important job interview over at [local entrepreneur, with the owner’s name as a company name]!”

    (The other customers have been startled at his behavior by now, but at the mentioning of said company, many of them snicker.)

    Me: “You know what? My neck was nearly broken when I was born. I have worked at [Gas Station] for three years, and never have I had a more rude and pretentious customer than you. I want you to calm down so we can finish this transaction. You’re startling the other customers.”

    Customer: “Does it look like I give a s***!?”

    Me: “That’s it.”

    (I pick up the phone and dial a number. My boss is looking at me with approval.)

    Me: *on the phone* “Hey, Dad, I want you to know there’s a man in his 40s, drives a green Honda CRV, who said he’s heading over for an interview with you today. He has been a real pain in the butt, and if you hire him, I’m not giving you grandchildren.”

    (The customer’s face goes pale. He looks at me, the other customers who are now laughing at him, and scurries out the door, leaving both his old and the new can behind. My dad didn’t hire him, either.)

    Hopefully Customers Like This Aren’t A Dime A Dozen

    | Springfield, MO, USA | Bizarre, Rude & Risque, Themed Giveaway

    (I work at the customer service desk, where we also sell helium-filled party balloons. A customer approaches my desk.)

    Customer: “Can I get a balloon with no air in it?”

    Coworker: “Okay, that’s 10 cents.”

    (He gives me a dime and takes the balloon and leaves. He comes back shortly.)

    Customer: “Do you have any bigger ones?”

    (I think this is weird, but I decides to help out instead of question.)

    Coworker: “Okay, I think this one looks bigger.”

    (He gives me another dime and leaves. Sometime later, he returns.)

    Customer: “Are you sure this is the biggest you have?”

    Coworker: “Yes, sir.”

    Customer: “Okay, I’m going to say it. Do you sell condoms without any of that goo on it?”


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