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    Like A Dog With A Bone About Your Dog

    | USA | Bad Behavior, Pets & Animals, Theme Of The Month, Wild & Unruly

    (My dog and I are at a popular pet store where we are regular customers. I am pushing around a cart with my dog in it. He is very friendly and greets anybody who walks by.)

    Customer: “Aw, what cute dog!”

    (The customer pets him. She stops and looks into my cart to see a leash.)

    Customer: “What the h***?!” *picks up and waves it on my face* “You are a animal abuser! Dogs should be running free!”

    Me: “What? No! I am doing this for his safety. He gets out of my yard and chases after cars!”

    Customer: *grabs my dog* “I am calling the police!”

    Me: “No! Give me my dog back!”

    (An employee runs over.)

    Employee: “Miss! I am going to have to ask you to give the dog back.”

    Customer: *holding my dog tightly, while he is fighting to get out of her arms* “No! He is being abused!”

    Employee: “I assure you, that dog is not abused. I am going to call the police if you don’t let go of him.”

    Customer: “Fine!” *throws my dog on the ground and runs out of the store*

    (Luckily my dog was okay!)

    Not In Good (Insurance) Company

    | Perth, WA, Australia | Extra Stupid, Transportation

    (I work on the front desk at a repair shop. A client calls us back; they called earlier and spoke with someone else.)

    Client: “I need you to tell me who my insurance is.”

    Me: “…Pardon?”

    Client: “I called before and you told me that I needed to find out who insured my car, so tell me who insures my car!”

    Me: “Er, sorry, I wouldn’t know that. You need to know who your insurance is with.”

    Client: “Well, I don’t know who my insurance is! Find out for me!”

    Me: “I can’t do that. There’s more than two dozen insurance companies in the immediate area alone. Do you have any documents about your insurance? An insurance policy? An invoice?”

    Client: “This is bullshit! I pay $1000 a month to be insured, and you don’t even know who it is?”

    Me: “Sorry, sir, but we aren’t your insurance company. We fix cars. We don’t know who your insurance company is.”

    Client: “WHY NOT?!”

    Me: “Because we aren’t your insurance company, we haven’t ensured your car, and you have never dealt with us before. There is no way for us to know where your car is insured.”

    Client: “When I bought this car, I spent a lot of money on getting this protection pack and I was promised [Insurance Company]‘s extended protection and—”

    Me: “Excuse me—”

    Client: “I’m not finished!”

    (Cue a five minute long rant about how he spent so much money on his car, during which he mentions the insurance company’s name no less than four times.)

    Me: “Excuse me, sir. But did you say that you have [Insurance Company]‘s protection?

    Client: “YES!”

    Me: “So, you mean [Insurance Company] is your insurance company?”

    Client: “How should I know?!”

    Me: “Okay, well, if you have [Insurance Company]‘s cover, then that is your insurance company.”

    Client: “God, was that so f***ing hard?!”

    5 Stories Of Gaming Mayhem

    | Not Always Right | Roundups

    Weekly Roundup: 5 Stories Of Gaming Mayhem The bigger the games, the harder the customers fall:

    1. A Suitable Trade-Off (4,262 thumbs up)
    2. Gamers Have To Band Together (3,346 thumbs up)
    3. Link, Nyu, And Sephiroth Walk Into A Bar… (3,291 thumbs up)
    4. All Fantasy Sales Are Final (2,404 thumbs up)
    5. A Hollow Victory (2,364 thumbs up)

    PS #1: check out our Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news!

    PS #2: Read more roundups here!

    This Dress Is Making You Bluer By The Minute

    | Finland | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Money

    (I work in a clothing store and am well in on my last hour of a nine-hour shift. I cannot wait to go home, but at the last minute an elderly woman walks in and starts strolling around the store.)

    Me: *trying not to let my tiredness show* “Hello! How may I help you?”

    Customer: “WHAT?! SPEAK UP LOUDER, YOUNG LADY!”

    Me: *rather loud* “Hello, ma’am! How may I help you?”

    (The customer leans in towards my face . Not only is she almost yelling every word, she also has the most terrible breath I’ve ever encountered, but as a service-minded person I try not to let my reaction to the smell show on my face.)

    Customer: “I’m looking for a specific dress. It’s blue.”

    Me: “We have many blue dresses in our collection, ma’am. Could you be more specific?”

    Customer: “MY GOD! DON’T YOU KNOW ANYTHING? I DON’T WORK HERE!”

    (This continues for a while. I keep looking around the store while politely trying to find out more details about the dress she is looking for. It is now a quarter past closing time. Finally, we find it.)

    Customer: “Now, this is really expensive. €19.95 for a single dress? What if I don’t like it?”

    Me: “Ma’am, we have an open return policy; if you find that you’re unhappy with the purchase, we will gladly exchange it for you or give you your money back. Just bring it back with the receipt.”

    Customer: “It’s a bit long. I don’t like dresses that are long. I might have to dust up my old sewing machine and make a few changes.”

    Me: “That is an option, ma’am, but I should warn you, if you were to make alterations to the dress, we can’t take it back. If you want to return it, it has to be in its original state.”

    Customer: “You WHAT? That’s insanely rude! Of course I should be able to make a few alterations and still get my money back! I would only improve it! It’s not really worth the price. I would be helping you.”

    Me: “I’m very sorry, but that is our policy.”

    (At last, now almost thirty minutes after closing time, she decides to buy the dress, so we walk together back to the till.)

    Me: “That’ll be €19.95, ma’am.”

    Customer: “That’s all right. I have a coupon so I get it for free.”

    Me: “Hmm. Let me see the coupon. We usually do not have any coupons that entitles a free piece of clothing, only discounts.”

    (The customer then hands me a lunch coupon for a nearby restaurant.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, but I cannot accept this. This is not a coupon for our store, it’s a—”

    Customer: *interrupting* “WHAT? You rude little thing! I’ve paid with this at other places without problem!”

    Me: “Did you pay with these at [Restaurant nearby], by any chance?”

    Customer: “EXACTLY! So stop being an idiot and give me my free dress!”

    Me: “Again, I’m sorry, ma’am. I cannot accept this as a valid payment. I will be needing cash, or a credit card. I assure you, if you are not happy with the purchase, you will receive a full refund if you bring the dress back to us in its original state and with the receipt.”

    Customer: “Fine!” *she throws her credit card directly at me*

    Me: “Here, you put your card in this slot here, and press your pin-code to confirm the purchase.”

    Customer: “WHAT? I don’t know my pin-code! Everyone else knows it! Why are you being stupid? Does everyone who works here lack brain cells?”

    Me: “I do beg pardon, but there’s no need to insult me. That’s just the easier way for us to confirm payments. I’ll swipe the card for you, like this. Just sign here.”

    (She just stood and looked at me for a while, fuming with her bad breath, until she finally signed her receipt and stormed off, a full 55 minutes after closing time.)

    Common Sense Has Folded

    | Wilsonville, OR, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

    Customer: “Where are all my old emails? I had them in the deleted items box so I could refer to them.”

    Me: “They were removed from the deleted items box because they were deleted and you no longer wanted them.”

    Customer: “I store them there so I only have to push a button to get them filed. Also so I can find out who contacted me previously about a construction contract I have in case I get sued.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. They were in the deleted items box and they were deleted to help ease the migration from POP to IMAP.”

    Customer: “Can you restore all my emails?”

    Me: “With your backup I can put them in a folder.”

    Customer: “What’s a folder?”

    Me: “It’s a place to put email you want to save, manually.”

    Customer: “That seems like a lot of extra work. Why can’t I just push a button?”


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