The Signs Of Change

| Omaha, NE, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Workers, Language & Words

Me: “Paper or plastic?”

Customer: “Paper.” *after some consideration* “No, plastic.”

(My bagger obviously doesn’t catch the change, and continues bagging in paper.)

Customer: “Excuse me!” *snaps her fingers in front of the bagger’s face* “Weren’t you listening? I want plastic! Not paper! You should be paying attention!”

(My bagger, startled, gives her a confused look and starts signing something, indicating that he’s deaf. The woman goes extremely pale.)

Customer: “Uh, thank you. Goodbye.” *she grabs her bags, still paper, and rushes out of the store*

(My bagger then slides me a note that says:)

Note: “What I said to that woman was so rude.”

Seven, Eight, Nein!

| MD, USA | Bizarre, Language & Words

(I work part time at my dad’s plumbing company, which bears our last name, doing basic office work, and learning about running a business. I’m filling out a work order for an older customer’s rental home. We live in an area with a lot of German heritage.)

Me: “And can I have your address?”

Customer: “It’s seventy-seven [Street Name].”

(I write the address down and, per usual, cross my sevens.)

Customer: “Look at your sevens. That’s a very German way of writing.”

Me: “Well, you know, as you can tell from my very German last name, we’ve got a lot of German blood.”

Customer: *leaning in and glaring* “That’s how they found the Nazis you know. They made them write stuff down and look at their sevens.”

(The customer is now quite close to my face and glaring at me.)

Me: “You don’t say…” *slowly backing up behind the service counter* “Well, I think I got everything here…”

Customer: *suddenly very chipper* “That’s great! Hope to see you soon!”

Dad: *apparently overhearing everything* “Did that guy just call us Nazis?!”

Life Is Stupider Than Fiction

| PA, USA | Extra Stupid, Movies & TV

(In my time working at a movie theater, I’ve recognized one major, recurring issue for customers: theater satisfaction surveys. They are explicit and clear that the customers are supposed to be rating ONLY their experience with our theater and staff, our cleanliness, how courteous we were, etc. The forms clearly state that they are NOT for rating the movies customers saw. Yet, many customers are oblivious, and will give our theater and staff low ratings because they saw a film they didn’t end up liking. It’s a serious issue, as corporate assumes the low scores are due to staff and theater issues, and they will often cause employees to be denied raises, etc. They can even cause employees to be fired. One day, a customer has just approached me.)

Me: “Hi! What can I do for you?”

Customer: “Can I get a customer satisfaction survey to take?”

Me: “Sure thing! Was something wrong with the theater or our staff?”

Customer: “No. The theater was lovely and the staff is great.”

Me: “Fantastic. One second, and I’ll get you a survey!”

(I hand him a satisfaction survey and a pen, and am shocked to see he is rating our staff, theater, cleanliness, etc. ‘Highly Unsatisfactory’ – the lowest rating.)

Me: “Sir. Why are you giving us bad grades on the survey? You said everything was good.”

Customer: “Oh. Everything was good. I just didn’t like the movie. It was confusing.”

Me: “Sir, the surveys are not for the film itself. They’re for the theater and our staff.”

Customer: “Oh, but I want the studios to know I didn’t like the movie.”

Me: “That’s not how these surveys work. We don’t make the films; we just show them. The surveys are for customers to give feedback on how we performed. It’s a common mistake people make, but I’m going to strongly encourage you not to submit that survey.”

Customer: “Why not?”

Me: “Because corporate will take one look at a survey like that, and assume it was something wrong we did.”

Customer: “But you guys were great.”

Me: “I understand. But the forms clearly state that they are only for the theater and staff, not the movie. So, by filling out and signing it, you’re essentially telling our corporate HQ that we did a poor job. Sending that in could get people fired.”

Customer: “…but how else can I let the studios know I didn’t like the film? I don’t want people to get fired, but I want the studio to know I didn’t like the movie.”

Me: “Those forms don’t go to the studios. They go to our theater’s corporate HQ. As I said, we don’t make the movies. I could recommend you go to a movie website and write a negative review, instead of giving us poor ratings.”

Customer: “I’ll just take my chances with this, thanks. I think the studios will get the idea.”

Me: “Those forms don’t go to the studios, but I can’t stop you. I will just strongly advise you not to send it in.”

(He did send it in. And people were ALMOST fired, as it wasn’t the first time someone was oblivious and sent in terrible grades for not liking the film. Corporate HAS to process the grades, whether or not you note that it was just the film you didn’t like. Thankfully, nobody lost their jobs, but it caused some issues with a few employees who were supposed to get raises in the near future. PLEASE READ THE FORMS, PEOPLE!)

Refunder Blunder, Part 10

| ON, Canada | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month

(The store opens five minutes early and a customer comes in specially to make a return.)

Customer: “I was hoping to exchange these chips and get a different flavour.”

Supervisor: “Do you have a receipt?”

Customer: “No.”

Supervisor: “Well, these are still well before their expiry date…”

(She looks at the second bag.)

Supervisor: “Oh, this is a flavour we don’t carry.”

Customer: “I’m just hoping to exchange them.”

Supervisor: “I understand that, but we don’t carry this product.”

Customer: “All I want to do is exchange these chips for another flavour in the same brand.”

Supervisor: “Sir, I’m sorry, but we’re not even really supposed to do returns without a receipt, and I can say quite confidently that you didn’t buy them here.”

Customer: “I KNOW I didn’t buy them here, but I don’t understand why I can’t return them here.”

Supervisor: “You don’t understand why I won’t return something we don’t sell?”

Customer: “…I don’t want to talk to you anymore.”

Related:
Refunder Blunder, Part 9
Refunder Blunder, Part 8
Refunder Blunder, Part 7

This Transaction Went Straight Down The Toilet

| CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Theme Of The Month

(A customer came into our store with a toilet that he had installed himself, and he wanted to return it. This toilet had been used and was disgusting. He had no receipt, and we couldn’t find the purchase on any of his credit cards.)

Customer: “I want you to return this NOW!”

Manager: “Sir, we can’t return a high price item without a receipt or the card used.”

Customer: “If you don’t return this one, I’m just going to take one off of the shelf!”

Manager: “I wouldn’t do that if I were you.”

(The customer proceeded to pick up the filthy toilet and throw it. It broke, and our associates ended up having to clean it up.)

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