Sweaty Confetti

| Colorado, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “I bought one of your bath balls with the confetti in it. It never dissolved and it just left a mess.”

(He points to a bath ball with confetti.)

Me: “We’ve never had a problem with that ball before, but I’ll keep that in mind. I would be happy to give you one without confetti for free so you can enjoy our products.”

Customer: “Oh no, that’s not necessary. I just wanted to tell you guys about it so you can warn other people.”

Me: “Thank you, I’ll definitely let everybody know about that.”

Customer: “Yeah, you should! I mean, now I have confetti all over my house. On my floor, my carpet, my bed, even my couch and living room!”

Me: “Wow, sounds like you had a lot of confetti!”

Customer: “I did! It even got lodged in places.”

Me: “Lodged in places?”

Customer: “Yeah crevices, my crevices! I mean I have to dig it out of places. Anyway, I just came by to warn you guys.”

(He starts heading out, and as he reaches the door he turns around.)

Customer: “BE CAREFUL WITH YOUR CREVICES, GIRLS!”

The Devil To Pay

| Brookline, MA, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Your total is ***.”

Customer: “Here is my coupon.”

Me: “I’m sorry, this expired last week.”

Customer: “What? What do you mean?”

Me: “It expired last week.”

Customer: “You witch devil! I can’t believe you changed the date!”

Me: “What?”

Customer: “You can magically alter dates, you devil!”

Me: “I don’t think I have that sort of power.”

(Upon hearing the commotion, my manager comes over.)

Customer, to my manager: “You have a witch devil here! I’m going to have to bring the lord into this!”

(The customer pulls out a bobble head Jesus and puts in on my counter.)

Customer: “I will return when the date of this coupon is the correct date!”

Take Note Of Change

| Pennsylvania, USA | Uncategorized

(A customer is having problems at the self checkout lane.)

Customer: “Excuse me, the machine isn’t taking my dollar.”

Me: “Miss, there’s a quarter sticking out of the bill slot.”

Customer: “Yes, there’s two dimes and a nickel in there too!”

Me: “You didn’t think to use the coin slot for those?”

Customer: “The what?”

The Fourth Is Not Strong With This One

| Traverse City, MI, USA | Top, Tourists/Travel

Me: “Thank you for calling the [hotel]. How may I direct your call?”

Customer: *in a British accent* “I need a room for tonight.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but we are booked.”

Customer: “Why?”

Me: “It’s the 4th of July. We’re always booked on the 4th.”

Customer: “I know the date! Why are you booked?”

Me: “Um, it’s July 4th.”

Customer: “Listen, just give me a room!”

Me: “I’m sorry sir, we are sold out. The entire town is sold out.”

Customer: “The entire town? Why?”

Me: “Sir, it’s the 4th of July. Independence day.”

Customer: “Independence from what?”

Me: “Um, England.”

Customer: “Oh bloody h***!” *click*

Death Becomes Her

| Newfoundland, Canada | Uncategorized

Me: “Hello, ma’am. Did you find everything you were looking for today?”

Customer: “Yes, yes. Sure is busy here.”

Me: “I guess that’s because of the season, ma’am. Everyone’s out getting last-minute holiday gifts.”

Customer: “Oh, I see, yes. I haven’t needed to buy any gifts for a while. Everyone I love is dead.”

Me: “Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that!”

Customer: *stares at me intently* “Someday, everyone you love will be dead, too.”

Me: “Uh…”

Customer: “Merry Christmas, now!”

Page 2,091/2,627First...2,0892,0902,0912,0922,093...Last