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    A Burger, Made Entirely Of Cheese

    | Portsmouth, UK |

    Me: “Hi, how can I help?”

    Lady: “Yes I’d like a hamburger please…”

    Me: “Okay.”

    Lady: “…with cheese on.”

    Me: “Okay, so you would like a cheeseburger then?”

    Lady: “No, I’d like a hamburger with cheese on.”

    Me: “Yes, that would in fact be a cheeseburger.”

    Lady: “But it says on your menu that you do hamburgers.”

    Me: “Yes, we do, but you asked for cheese on it, so that is a cheeseburger.”

    Lady: *getting angry now* “Look, I just want a hamburger with cheese on!”

    Me: *calls over my shoulder* “One hamburger with cheese!”

    (Sound of giggling in the back.)

    Oh, How The Truth Doth Sting

    | Toronto, ON, Canada | Top

    (As a result of the US/Canadian currency parity, a lot of customers have been angry that they have to pay the Canadian price instead of the cheaper US price.)

    Customer: “Which price do I have to pay: the American or Canadian?”

    Coworker: “I’m afraid you have to pay the Canadian price.”

    Customer: *angrily* “Why?”

    Coworker: “Quite simply, we buy from Canadian publishers with Canadian money. Also, that book was bought before the price parity, therefore, to sell at the American price would mean that we would not be making any money.”

    Customer: “Well, I want you to explain to my 7 year old daughter why she’s not getting this book for Christmas.”

    Me: “…because her dad is a cheapskate?”

    Insert Karate Stereotype Here

    | Lincoln, NE, USA |

    Customer: “Miss, do you serve Chinese food at this restaurant?”

    Me: “Um…no, we serve mainly bar food, hamburgers and that sort of thing.”

    Customer, irritated and skeptical, points at one of the servers: “Yeah, but he’s Chinese.”

    Related:
    …And We Wonder Why Everyone Hates Us

    Crazy Old Lady 1, Bag Boy 0

    | Seminole, FL, USA |

    (I was a cashier at a local grocery store one summer. At 9 o clock every night, it was the bagboy’s duty to clean the store…which included vacuuming the rugs in front of the automatic doors. One night, about 8-8:30, an elderly lady comes in and sits by the doors.)

    Me: “Hello! How are you tonight, do you need any assistance?”

    Lady: “No, I’m fine, I’m just going to sit here.”

    Me: “Okay, then.”

    (She sits there until about 9 o clock until a bagboy comes out with a vacuum cleaner…he proceeds to do his job.)

    Lady: “AAAH!!! What is that? What is that horrible noise? I can’t take it! I can’t take it!” *Walks up to the bagboy* “What are you doing? Stop it! Stop it!”

    Bagboy: “I’m just vacuuming the rugs…”

    Lady: “Stop it! I can’t take this noise! Why are you doing this?!”

    Me and the other cashiers: “…”

    (She goes back to sit down and doesn’t leave until late. Our managers come out and forbid the bagboys from vacuuming while she is there. She then proceeds for a couple more times that week to come in at 8 o’clock and if some bagboy even brought out the vacuum cleaner, unaware of who she is, they get an earful about the horrible noise that afflicts her.)

    Caught Red-Handed

    | Colorado, USA | Top

    Guest: “I’d like to return this toaster.”

    Me: “Okay ma’am, do you have a receipt for the purchase dated within 90 days?”

    Guest: “No.”

    Me: “Okay, well you can’t return it then. However, if you have an ID you can exchange it for an item of equal or lesser value from the same department.”

    Guest: “But I don’t want to exchange it. I want my money.”

    Me: “Well, I’m sorry but if you don’t have a receipt, you can’t return the item.”

    Guest: “[Other store name] would take it back!”

    Another guest in line: “Excuse me, I work there and, no we wouldn’t!”

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