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  • Bigotry Is Not On The Menu
    (1,906 thumbs up)
  • Translation: Stupid

    | Ontario, Canada | Uncategorized

    Customer: “Excuse me, why won’t my card work on the pump?”

    Me: “Is it an American card?”

    Customer: “Yes.”

    Me: “American cards don’t work at the pump.”

    Customer: “You should put up a sign or something.”

    Me: “Actually, there are several right above the card slot.”

    Customer: “Oh. Well, I don’t read Canadian…”

    Seven Sons For Seven Burgers

    , | Connecticut, USA | Uncategorized

    Customer: “You seem a bit slow. Is this your first day?”

    Me: “Actually, it is. I’m sorry if I held you up.”

    Customer: “No problem. You’ll get the hang of it. I should know. I have seven sons, and they all work at fast food places just like you.”

    Me: “Oh, that’s nice!”

    Customer: “No, it’s not. It’s pathetic and disappointing!”

    Childhood Dream, Meet Retail Nightmare

    Perhaps He Would Prefer An Abacus

    | Tennessee, USA | Uncategorized

    (I was helping a user in one of our accounting firm’s remote offices.)

    Caller: “My email isn’t working!”

    Me: “Okay, what seems to be the problem?”

    Caller: “I already said, my email isn’t working!”

    Me: “Okay, so is it not sending email, or is it not opening?”

    Caller: “It’s not sending email. This is pathetic! I don’t have
    time for this!”

    Me: “I am here to help you. Does it say ‘connected’ at the lower right hand of the screen?”

    Caller: “I don’t know, this isn’t my job! It’s yours, so fix it!”

    Me: “I am trying to, sir, but I will need your help with fixing this issue remotely.”

    Caller: “No, that’s not what I get paid to do. I am an accountant! I’m not supposed to know how to use a computer!”

    Not Always Right Book: Facebook Giveaway

    Facebook Giveaway | Uncategorized

    Not Always Right Book

    Dear Readers,

    Win a FREE copy of the new Not Always Right book!

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    Psst #1: Not a Facebook user? No problem! We have a similar book giveaway planned for following us on Twitter in the next few weeks–stay tuned for details!

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    Fighting Fire With Fire, Part 3

    | Huntingdon, Cambs, UK | Uncategorized

    (A man walks up to our gas station pumps smoking a cigarette. I am working alone, so I talk to him using the microphone.)

    Me: “Could you please move away from the pumps with your cigarettes immediately?”

    Smoking Man: *shouts back to me* “Petroleum extinguishes cigarettes!”

    Me: “You can’t smoke here. There are lots of explosive fumes!”

    Smoking Man: “No, I am a fireman! We use petroleum to put out fires!”

    Me: “I doubt that. I have now stopped all the pumps so no one else can get any gas until you leave the gas station.”


    (Just then, a customer who has been pumping gas speaks up.)

    Customer: “I’ll f***ing extinguish you, you d***!” *chases Smoking Man out of the gas station*

    Fighting Fire With Fire, Part 2
    Fighting Fire With Fire

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