The Sound Of Silence

| Canada | Uncategorized

Me: “Thank you for calling [company]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Listen, could you please just transfer me to your business services department, please?”

Me: “I’m pretty sure they’re closed today. They always are on Saturdays.”

Customer: “Transfer me there anyway.”

Me: “Ma’am, nobody will answer the phone.”

Customer: “Transfer me there ANYWAY!”

On Sale: Humble Pie

| Nova Scotia, Canada | Uncategorized

Me: “Hello, how are you today? I see you have picked out a lot of our sale items today.”

Customer: “Yes I did! I think these sales are great!”

(I smile as I continue ringing in her items.)

Customer: “Um, this cereal is $1.99, not $2.99.”

Me: “It says right here that this cereal is $2.99. You must just be mistaken with another brand. It can get pretty confusing sometimes.”

Customer: “No, that cereal is $1.99! You’re wrong! I know it is, I saw it like that on the shelf!”

Me: “My apologies, the sign must be for another product. I will call someone to go check–”

Customer: “No! The sign said that this cereal is 1.99! I will go and get it myself for you then!”

Me: “It’s alright, I can just get one of our employees to go and check that for you, there is no need–”

Customer: “I WILL SHOW YOU I AM RIGHT!”

(The customer storms away, leaving me at the speedy checkout with a line of 10 people. She soon returns looking flustered.)

Customer: “Debit, please.”

Immeasurable Confusion

| Santa Monica, CA, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Hi, [pizza place].”

Customer: “Hi, it says you have a nine inch small pizza. How big is that?”

Me: “Nine inches, six slices.”

Customer: “But how big is it?”

Me: “The diameter of the pizza is approximately nine inches. There are six slices.”

Customer: “Like, ok, but you already told me that. How big is it?”

Me: “I’m not sure what other metric to use. The pie is slightly smaller across than a third of a meter.”

Customer: *brief pause* “Okay, what size is the medium?”

Me: “Twelve inches, six slices.”

Customer: *another brief pause* “The small has six too. So they’re the same size?!”

Spiritual, Not Psychic

| Florida, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “I would like help finding a book.”

Me: “Sure, what’s the title?”

Customer: “Well, I don’t know.”

Me: “Okay, who is the author?”

Customer: “I don’t know.”

Me: “Okay, can you tell me the subject and maybe we can still find it.”

Customer: “It’s for a friend. It’s about spiritual something.”

(I search ‘spiritual’ just to see what happens.)

Me: “Okay, my computer is showing over 6,000 results. Is there anyway we can narrow the search?”

Customer: “Isn’t that your job?”

Daddy’s Little (Working) Girl

| Texas, USA | Uncategorized

Caller: “Are you hiring right now?”

Me: “Yes sir, we are hiring for the infant room.”

Caller: “Oh, that won’t work. My daughter is 6.”

Me: “Are you wanting to bring your daughter to our daycare facility?”

Caller: “Yes. How much do you pay?”

Me: “Well, I’m not at liberty to discuss what the employees get paid. But, for your daughter’s age, we charge $95 a week.”

Caller: “So, she will get paid $95 a week?”

Me: “No, sir. That is what we charge for you to bring your daughter here for the employees to look after, teach, and have play time.”

Caller: “So she can’t get a job here? She won’t be making any money? F*** it. I’ll call someone else who will give her a job.”

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