Damage Your Self E-Steam

| New South Wales, Australia | At The Checkout, Math & Science, Uncategorized

(A customer brings in a steamer set.)

Customer: “This doesn’t work. It’s faulty.”

Me: “Okay, what seems to be the problem with the item?”

Customer: “It doesn’t steam the food.”

Me: “Ok, I’m just going to have to test it, to confirm that it’s faulty.” *I ask my co-worker next to me* “How much water do I put in it?”

Customer: “You put water in it?”

Military In-Action

| USA | Books & Reading, Uncategorized

(I work in the library at one of the Military Academies. As such, 90% of our students are military members, all in uniform. A student walks in immediately following me as I unlock the doors.)

Me: “We don’t open until 7:30.”

Student: “But I need to print something out.”

Me: “The printers aren’t on yet, and have no paper in them. Come back at 7:30.”

Student: “Not even for your country!?”

Me: “No…”

Not Getting The Picture

| Melbourne, Australia | Technology, Uncategorized

(I work in the IT department, on part of the university’s website.)

Customer: “Can you help me? I tried to print out this webpage, and none of the images showed up!”

Me: “Sounds like it might be a problem with your printer.”

Customer: “Is it because the images are stuck inside the internet and the printer can’t get them out?”

Being The President Sucks

| Oklahoma City, OK, USA | Books & Reading, History, Politics

Customer: “Do you have a copy of Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter?”

Me: “I’m not sure, let me check.” *I check our bestsellers section* “No sir, not at this time.”

Customer: “But did you look back in the history section?”

Me: “For Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter?”

Customer: “Yeah.”

Me: “No, I did not.”

Walking Tall, Risking Small

| Dayton, OH, USA | Crazy Requests, Uncategorized

Guest: “How do I get to the mall from here?”

Me: “Oh, it’s really easy, sir. You just make a right out of our lot, and you come to a lighted intersection. Go straight through the light and you will be in the mall parking lot.”

Guest: “Alright, then.”

(The guest goes to walk there, and then comes back.)

Guest: “Are there no sidewalks here?”

Me: “Well, no, not really, but there’s a light to protect you. Our roads have really wide shoulders, so there’s plenty of room to walk.”

Guest: “Oh. So you really have to take you life into your hands to walk anywhere here, huh?”

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