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    Magical Little Computers

    | St. George, UT, USA |

    Caller: “Yes, I would like a room for tonight.”

    Me: “I’m terribly sorry. We are completely sold out.”

    Caller: “Really!? I can’t believe that.”

    Me: “I’m sorry. We truly do not have any rooms to sell.”

    Caller: “Can I be put on a waiting list?”

    Me: “No, we do not do waiting lists.”

    Caller: “Who has rooms then?”

    Me: “I would try **** and ****. They may still have rooms available.”

    Caller: “You mean you don’t know?”

    Me: “Um…no. I’m sorry I do not.”

    Caller: “Well book me a room at one of those then!”

    Me: “Yeah…there is no way for me to do that. I can give you their phone numbers though.”

    Caller: “Why can’t you just book them for me? Use your fingers at your little computer and get me a room!”

    Customer To The Rescue

    | Boone, IA, USA | Top

    (I was currently working in the electronics section of a discount super store, who’s favorite color use to be blue, when I was approached by a customer, which was surprising since the state was being hit by a significantly large ice storm.)

    Customer: “Hi, I’d like to pick up my pictures.”

    Me: “Hmm…it seems they aren’t in yet, when did you send them out?”

    Customer: *very angry* “They were supposed to be in today!”

    Me: “I’m sorry sir, but the lab where they are processed is hours away and its too dangerous for the drivers to be out on the roads today.”

    Customer: “Well I made it, how come they can’t?”

    Me: “Sir, you live on the street behind the building, which is a much shorter and safer distance compared to the over 120 miles the driver would have to drive, especially on roads that not even emergency vehicles won’t go onto.”

    Customer: “I was told my pictures were going to be back today, and I want them today!”

    (I’m about to apologize to the man but am beaten to the punch by the customer behind him…)

    Customer #2: “Yeah! You guys should have dog sleds on the side just in case.”

    Original Customer: “Don’t be ridiculous!”

    Customer #2: *in a very apologetic tone* “I’m sorry, I thought it was my turn to make insane demands.”

    Original Customer: *storms off talking to the air about how rude people are*

    Customer #2: “That was fun!” *walks away*

    (Unfortunately, I never got to thank that second customer. Wherever you are Customer #2, thank you.)

    We Need One Of These In Every Store

    Stupidity Is The Mother of Repetition

    | Lexington, MA, USA | Top

    (There is a huge line of customers waiting on their drinks. An impatient customer who just placed his order assumes the next drink is his and takes it, after I call someone else’s name.)

    Customer: “This isn’t hot chocolate.”

    Me: “That’s because you grabbed someone else’s drink.”

    Customer: “But it isn’t hot chocolate!”

    Me: “There are nine people in front of you waiting for drinks. You grabbed the wrong drink.”

    Customer: “But it isn’t hot chocolate.”

    (I look at the order screen for the name on the drink he took.)

    Me: “Is your name ***?”

    Customer: “No, and this isn’t hot chocolate!”

    Me: “That’s because you took ****’s drink!”

    Customer: “It’s not hot chocolate!”

    Me: “Hand me the drink and I will remake the person who’s drink you took. I’ll make your hot chocolate, but it will take a few minutes!!”

    (Customer hands the drink back to me.)

    Customer: “It’s not hot chocolate!”


    | Oklahoma City, OK, USA | Top

    (We’re selling tons of over-the-counter, store-brand medications at buy one, get one free. I ring up a lady who has two bottles of cough syrup with her. She keeps a stern eye on the cash register monitor as I check them through.)

    Lady: “That’s not right.”

    Me: “What isn’t?”

    Lady: “The coupon says buy one at $6.99, get the other one free.”

    Me: “Precisely. You’re getting both of these for $6.99.”

    Lady: “But one’s ringing up as $3.50 and the other at $3.49.”

    Me: “That’s correct. The register divides these differences automatically.”

    Lady, growing fidgety: “But that’s not what the COUPON says.”

    Me: *after a pause* “Well, $3.50 plus $3.49 is $6.99.”

    Lady: “So this is how you scam customers!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m pretty certain that we here at [drugstore chain] do not scam our customers when even basic math can rule out any differences.”

    Lady: “I only want one. Put this other one back, I don’t want it. I’m not paying an extra $3.49 for this. The ad said buy one, get one free, and I’m not getting that one for free.”

    Me: *head-desk*

    This Is Why Math Is Your Friend

    Entropy Strikes Again

    | Illinois, USA |

    (A woman came up to the concession counter with a tub of popcorn.)

    Me: “Yes, can I help you?”


    Me: “It is? That’s weird, it shouldn’t be. I just made several batches, so I can get you another one.”

    (The popcorn was ice cold, which was odd considering it usually stayed warm for a few hours.)

    Me: “Just wondering, when did you buy this popcorn?”

    Woman: “Yesterday.”

    Me: “…”

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