Do As I Say, Not As I Play

| Wilmington, NC, USA | Family & Kids, Uncategorized

(A little girl approaches me by herself.)

Little Girl: “The game I was playing didn’t give me all of my tickets.”

Me: “Do you know what the game was called?”

Little Girl: “Uhh…no.”

Me: “Well, if you could just go find out the name of the game and come back and tell me, I can send someone over there to help you.”

(She walks back into the arcade. Thirty seconds later, a very angry looking man walks up to my counter.)

Customer: “Why the h*** would you send her back there by herself? She’s only 8 years old!”

Me: “Well, she came up here unsupervised.”

Customer: “I was playing a game! I couldn’t stop in the middle of my game!”

Just Wait Until She Finds The Penny Slots

| Wellington, New Zealand | Money, Uncategorized

Customer: “I’ll take a $2 scratch-and-win, please.”

Me: “Awesome. Here you go.”

Customer: “I was wondering how much you have to pay for one with prizes?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “If I got a $3 one, would it have a chance to win prizes?”

Me: “That one you have has a chance to win prizes, ma’am. They all do.”

Customer: *surprised* “Really?”

Me: “Of course.”

Customer: *excited* “You learn something new every day!”

Not So Pretty In Pink

| New York, NY, USA | Family & Kids, Uncategorized

(A customer is trying on a black and white top by a well known designer and it fits her very well. Her daughter is with her.)

Customer: “I just wish this wasn’t black and white. I want something brighter.”

Me: “Well, we do have a dress by the same designer which has the same silhouette in pink. I think it would look good with your complexion and hair color.”

Customer: “No thanks. My daughter doesn’t think I look good in pink so I’m going to have to listen to her on this.”

(The customer’s five-year old daughter solemnly nods with approval.)

Best Quote An Alternator Price

| Chicago, IL, USA | Liars & Scammers, Money, Uncategorized

Me: “Thank you for calling [Auto Parts], how can I help you?”

Caller: “Yeah, I need an alternator for my vehicle.”

(I look up his car and the alternator.)

Me: “Okay, the one we have in stock is $79.99.”

Caller: “$49.99?”

Me: “No, sir, $79.99.”

Caller: “$49.99?”

Me: “$79.99.”

Caller: “Hey, you said $79.99!”

Me: “Indeed I did, sir!”

Wishy-Washy Analogies

| Kentucky, USA | Extra Stupid, Uncategorized

(I work for a place that sells towing systems.)

Caller: “Yes, I was wondering if my car needs to be there when they install the mounting brackets for the tow-bar?”

Me: “Yes, sir. Since the mounting brackets are installed on your car, you car will need to be there”

Caller: “Why? I don’t understand.”

Me: “Well, sir, the mounting brackets are permanently attached to your vehicle. In order to attach them to your vehicle, we will need your vehicle to be there.”

Caller: “I’m not sure if I follow.”

Me: “Well, sir, say you come to my house so I can wash your car, but you ride your bicycle. Well since your car isn’t there, that means I can’t wash it.”

Caller: “Oh, I get it now…I think.”

Me: “Great, is there anything else I can help you with?”

Caller: “So, you all have to wash my car to do it. That’s why it has to be there!”

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