A Beeping Idiot

| London, ON, Canada | Uncategorized

Me: “Thank you for calling [cellphone company], how may I help you?”

Caller: “Okay, now listen: this cellphone won’t make outgoing calls. What the h*** is wrong with it?”

Me: “I’ll check to see if there are any blocks on it or anything wrong with the account.” *beep*

Caller: “Did you hear that beep? It keeps doing that too!”

Me: “Wait, are you calling me from that cellphone?”

Caller: “Yes, why?”

Thinking Outside The Box

| Hahira, GA, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Thank you for calling [restaurant]. Can I help you?”

Caller: “I just picked up an order from you and it is completely wrong. It should not be so difficult to get an order right.”

Me: “I’m very sorry. What was the name on your ticket and I’ll see if I can fix this for you.”

(I pull the customer’s ticket and read the order to her.)

Me: “Is that what you ordered?”

Caller: “Yes, but I didn’t get it and my husband said he is very upset as well!”

Me: “What did you get ma’am?”

Caller: “Well there’s a large container of soup in here that I did not order and I haven’t even opened the Styrofoam boxes but I’m sure they’re wrong!”

Me: “Could you open the boxes and check for me?”

Caller: “Your d*** restaurant screwed up! There is no reason for me to open the boxes!”

Me: “I’m just trying to find out what happened to your order.”

Caller: “Fine!” *checks boxes* “Well the food in the boxes is right but I did not order any soup!”

Me: “Don’t worry. The soup was placed in your bag by mistake. You weren’t charged for it.”

Caller: “I’m still not happy about all this. I want to speak to a manager!”

(My manager took the phone, and listened to the woman’s story.)

Manager: “Just so I’m clear here ma’am, you’re angry because
you got free soup?”

Caller: *click*

Related:
Not Thinking Outside The Box, Part 3
Not Thinking Outside The Box, Part 2
Not Thinking Outside The Box

Good Music Isn’t Sharp, Sadly Doesn’t Apply To Customers

| Springfield, MO, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Thank you for calling [Music School], how can I help you?”

Caller: “Do y’all sell leather fanny packs?”

Me: “I’m sorry ma’am, we are a music school. We do not carry anything like that. There used to be a handbag store in this location, but they have gone out of business.”

Caller: “Are you sure you don’t sell leather fanny packs?”

Me: “I am positive we don’t, as we are a music school.”

Caller: “Well, could you go check?”

2-Dense

| Pennsylvania, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “Hi, I would like 4 tickets for Avatar 3-D.”

Me: “I’m sorry sir, we don’t have projectors capable of 3-D. We are showing Avatar in traditional 2-D. Is that alright?”

Customer: “Oh, so no 3-D? Sure! Thanks for letting me know!”

Me: “No problem sir. That will be $31.50.”

(The customer pays for the 4 tickets.)

Me: “Thank you very much. Enjoy your show!”

Customer: “Thanks! Now where do we get our 2-D glasses?”

We Need One Of These In Every Store, Part 2

, | Fort Wayne, Indiana, USA | Uncategorized

(At the front of our store is a bin full of loose fantasy figurines.  One night, two pre-teen boys come in and start rounding up all the fairy princesses they can find, naming each one after porn stars. They proceed to stage some pretty graphic stuff with the toys, complete with language and racial slurs.)

Me: “You kids drop those toys, right now! This is a family story, you got it? You either clean your language up or get out of here. NOW!”

(The boys stare at me open-mouthed. One of them squeaks, “Yes, ma’am,” and they both drop the toys and run.)

Coworker:  “Wow! Way to go!”

Me:  “Yeah, you don’t mess with the Toy Store Amazon.”

Related:
We Need One Of These In Every Store

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