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    When Mood Swings Attack, Part 2

    , | Waterloo, IL, USA |

    Click here to view the comic version of this quote!

    (Backstory: A woman orders a Reuben sandwich and returns to the counter 30 minutes later with about a fourth of the sandwich eaten.)

    Woman: “I want to speak to your manager right now!”

    Crew member: “Sure, no problem.” *goes and gets manager*

    Manager: “Hi, what can I do for you today?”

    Woman: “Yeah, I got this reuben at 4 pm and it’s SOGGY!”

    Manager: “Well, ma’am, you purchased it half an hour ago…”

    Woman: “Well, I want a new one!”

    Manager, hoping to get the looney out of the store: “Sure, no problem.”

    (Suddenly, the woman goes from angry to flat-out crazy.)

    Woman: “HERE’S YOUR DELICIOUS REUBEN!!!” *rubs sauce on counter and throws part of sandwich at manager*

    Manager: *dumbfounded*

    Woman: “I’m sorry…it’s not your fault.”

    Manager: “…It’s alright…”

    Woman: *thinks for a second, then throws remaining sandwich bits at manager*

    (We all laughed quite hysterically, and our manager walked around with reuben sauce on his crotch all day.)

    Related:
    When Mood Swings Attack

    Just Stick It Where The Sun Don’t Shine

    | Los Angeles, CA, USA |

    (I work at a library where people can come in to use the computer if they need to.)

    Lady: “Excuse me. Could you help me? I’m having trouble with the computer.”

    Me: “Sure, what’s the problem?”

    Lady: “I can’t log on. It’s not taking my card.”

    Me: “Huh, that’s weird. My computer says everything is okay. Let me go check.”

    Lady: “I don’t know why it never works for me. The first time it came in it worked but every time after that it hasn’t! You guys always have problems with your computers. You should get that fixed as soon as possible!”

    Me: “Alright then, let me see what you’re doing. Where’s your card?”

    Lady: “It’s in the computer!”

    Me: “What do you mean it’s in the computer?”

    Lady: “There, in the computer! I put it in but it won’t log me on!” *points to the computer*

    (I see it sticking out of where it obviously does NOT belong and take it out.)

    Me: “No. That’s not how you log on. You see the numbers on the back of the card? Enter that into the computer, then your pin, and click log on.”

    Lady: *looks at me confused* “Did you guys change this, because that’s how it worked for me last time!”

    Me: “No, that’s how it has always been. In fact, if you had looked at the screen, you would have seen that it tells you exactly what to do.”

    Lady: “Don’t take that tone with me, young lady! Just log me on!”

    (I logged her on to the computer, but since she was a b**ch to me, I kicked her off early.)

    (Telepathic) Help Wanted, Part 2

    | Atlanta, USA |

    Old Customer with Earhair: “Do you have fixative?”

    Coworker 1: “I’m not aware of a product by that name. What do you want it to do?”

    Earhair: “Get me someone else who knows the inventory!”

    Coworker 2: “Sir, can I help you?”

    Earhair: “Yeah, I want some fixative.”

    Coworker 2: “We don’t have a product by that name, but if you describe it, we can get it for you.”

    Earhair: “I buy fixative in here ALL THE TIME.”

    Coworker 2: “What does the product look like?”

    Earhair: “This is ridiculous. You should know your inventory well enough to READ MY MIND!”

    Related:
    (Telepathic) Help Wanted

    The Uneducated States Of America

    | Williamsport, PA |

    (I was a toll-free operator. If a caller asked for something and there was ANY difference in the listing from what was requested, we were required to notify the caller and get approval from the caller before providing the number.)

    Caller: “I would like *** insurance company in Delaware.”

    Me: “I have a listing for *** insurance company, but I have it listed out of New Hampshire. Would that be acceptable?”

    Caller: “New Hampshire? Where the h*ll is New Hampshire?”

    Me: “It’s in New England.”

    Caller: “New England?! I don’t want any New England! I need a number in the United States!”

    Me, sarcastically: “Oh, I’m sorry, then. I don’t have any listed.”

    Yet Still They Come

    | Ontario, Canada |

    (Due to a power outage we had to close our store. The lights were all out and there were 2 large green bristol board signs displaying “CLOSED, NO POWER, SORRY”. A woman walks up, walks through the entryway and tries the door to the store proper, which is locked. She then turns around goes to the exit door, pulls it open and walks in. I stop her.)

    Me: “I’m sorry ma’am, there is a power outage. We’re closed.”

    Woman: “Does that mean I can come in?”

    Me: “No. ‘Closed’ means you can’t come in.”

    Woman: “Then how come THEY’RE allowed in?” *points to people behind cash registers all wearing store aprons*

    Me: “Uh…they work here.”

    Woman: *leaves angrily*

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