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    How About ‘W’ For I Dunno WTF I’m Doing

    | Philadelphia, PA, USA |

    (I greeted a customer in the ‘C’ section of the CD department.)

    Me: “Can I help you find something?”

    Customer: “Yeah, I’m trying to find a Red Hot Chili Peppers CD.”

    Me: “Well, that would be under ‘R’. I’ll show you.”

    Customer: “Oh. I was going to check under ‘H’ next.”

    Me: “…”

    Why Catch-22 Needs To Be Required Reading

    | California, USA | Top

    Customer: “I bought a computer from you guys not 3 weeks ago, and my internet isn’t working.”

    Me: “Well the computer itself seems to be operating perfectly…”

    Customer: “It is NOT working perfectly. I cannot get on the internet. ”

    Me: “I understand that; I just mean while the internet itself isn’t working, your computer is functioning properly.”

    Customer: “My computer is worthless without internet.”

    (Company policy is to direct her to her ISP for further assistance. So I try to get that info from her so I can give her a proper phone number.)

    Customer: “Why don’t you just fix it?”

    Me: “I’ve run out of things we can try.”

    Customer: “What is the ISP going to do?”

    Me: “They’ll walk you through a few things or at least tell you if there is an outage or other problems in your area.”

    Customer: “I bought this computer from YOU and YOU should be the ones fixing it.”

    Me: “It’s not the computer, it’s the internet. Unfortunately we’re not your internet provider. There’s really nothing more I can do for you.”

    Customer: “How much do you charge for internet?”

    Me: “We do not sell internet.”

    Customer: “Than who do I buy my internet from?”

    Me: “I don’t know. Verizon, perhaps?”

    Customer: “I suppose I should order some internet.”

    Me: “…you haven’t even signed up for it yet!?”

    Customer: “I wanted to do it on the internet.”

    Me: *head explodes*

    Come To Think Of It, He Is Pretty Incredible

    , | Glen Rock, NJ, USA |

    (I was in the store buying my comics when a lady walked in.)

    Lady: “Hi, can I get some comics appraised?”

    Worker: “Okay, what comics are they, and where are they?”

    Lady: “The comics are in my car. I’ve got a bunch of Marvel comics that I don’t need. I got a bunch of Spider-Man and I got the Fantastic Four from the ’50′s. Oh, I also got that comic… whats it called… The Incredible Hulk Hogan?”

    Worker: “You mean, the Incredible Hulk?”

    Lady: “Yeah, that’s it!”

    Me/My friends: “…”

    (As soon as she walked out the store, everybody started to laugh.)

    Brown-Skinned Savage, I Come From Distant Shores

    | Reno, NV, USA | Geography, Top

    (I was called by the cashier to help an elderly lady out to her car. As I was loading the trunk, she says…)

    Elderly Customer: “How do you say it? Muchas gracious?”

    Me: “Um, I’m not Hispanic.”

    Elderly Customer: “Oh, really? Where are you from?”

    Me: “I’m actually from Bangladesh.”

    Elderly Customer: “Really? Is that near Mexico?”

    Me: “No… it’s actually right next to India.”

    Elderly Customer: “Oh, I see…”

    (I finish loading her trunk.)

    Elderly Customer: “Thanks and aaadios!”

    Me: “…”

    All Husbands Must Be Kept On A Leash

    | Vancouver, BC, Canada |

    (Note: I was one of the quickest and most efficient cashiers at my store, and often received positive comments about this from the customers.)

    Wife: “My, you’re just whizzing along! I can’t believe how fast you are!”

    Husband: “Didn’t you know? That’s the store’s new policy. They only hire fast women.”

    Me: *chuckles good-naturedly*

    Wife: “Don’t mind my husband. We only let him out on weekends.”

    Related:
    Behind Every Man Is An Embarrassed Wife
    Behind Every Husband Is A Brutally Honest Wife

    Also seen on: Not Always Romantic.

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