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    (Telepathic) Help Wanted, Part 2

    | Atlanta, USA |

    Old Customer with Earhair: “Do you have fixative?”

    Coworker 1: “I’m not aware of a product by that name. What do you want it to do?”

    Earhair: “Get me someone else who knows the inventory!”

    Coworker 2: “Sir, can I help you?”

    Earhair: “Yeah, I want some fixative.”

    Coworker 2: “We don’t have a product by that name, but if you describe it, we can get it for you.”

    Earhair: “I buy fixative in here ALL THE TIME.”

    Coworker 2: “What does the product look like?”

    Earhair: “This is ridiculous. You should know your inventory well enough to READ MY MIND!”

    Related:
    (Telepathic) Help Wanted

    The Uneducated States Of America

    | Williamsport, PA |

    (I was a toll-free operator. If a caller asked for something and there was ANY difference in the listing from what was requested, we were required to notify the caller and get approval from the caller before providing the number.)

    Caller: “I would like *** insurance company in Delaware.”

    Me: “I have a listing for *** insurance company, but I have it listed out of New Hampshire. Would that be acceptable?”

    Caller: “New Hampshire? Where the h*ll is New Hampshire?”

    Me: “It’s in New England.”

    Caller: “New England?! I don’t want any New England! I need a number in the United States!”

    Me, sarcastically: “Oh, I’m sorry, then. I don’t have any listed.”

    Yet Still They Come

    | Ontario, Canada |

    (Due to a power outage we had to close our store. The lights were all out and there were 2 large green bristol board signs displaying “CLOSED, NO POWER, SORRY”. A woman walks up, walks through the entryway and tries the door to the store proper, which is locked. She then turns around goes to the exit door, pulls it open and walks in. I stop her.)

    Me: “I’m sorry ma’am, there is a power outage. We’re closed.”

    Woman: “Does that mean I can come in?”

    Me: “No. ‘Closed’ means you can’t come in.”

    Woman: “Then how come THEY’RE allowed in?” *points to people behind cash registers all wearing store aprons*

    Me: “Uh…they work here.”

    Woman: *leaves angrily*

    How Gluttons Complain

    , | Oklahoma, USA |

    (I was a customer observing this in line, not the employee.)

    Woman Customer: “I’d like a hot fudge sundae.”

    (The worker makes a hot fudge sundae and presents it to customer.)

    Customer: *eats spoonful of sundae* “The ice cream is melting.” *eats another spoonful*

    Worker: “I’m sorry. It’s probably because there’s HOT fudge on top of it.”

    Customer: *spoonful* “The ice cream is too soft. *spoonful* I can’t eat this.” *spoonful*

    Worker: “I could try to remake it for you, or get you something else.”

    Customer, still chowing down: “This is just awful.”

    (The customer takes another spoonful–by this time about half the sundae is gone.)

    Customer: “How do you expect people to eat this *spoonful* when the ice cream is so soft? *spoonful* The ice cream should be hard!” *spoonful*

    Worker: “Would you like something else?”

    Customer: *spoonful spoonful spoonful* Don’t bother. Just throw it away. *spoonful*

    (The customer hands what little is left to the worker and stomps away indignantly, still complaining.)

    My wife, not very quietly: “What a b***h!

    Worker: *smiles at my wife*

    There Are No Stupid Questions, Just Stupid People

    , | Louisville, KY, USA |

    (As with most customers, once you’ve told them to “right click” on something one time, they can’t help but ask you about it every few seconds…this was a special instance.)

    Me: “Alright ma’am, I need you to click on the icon for me.”

    Customer: “Right click or left click?”

    Me: “By default, always left click, unless I say otherwise.”

    Customer: “Alright.”

    (5 minutes later…)

    Me: “Ok, go ahead and click on that button for me.”

    Customer: “Right click or left click?”

    Me: “By default, always left click, unless I say otherwise.”

    (5 more minutes later…)

    Me: “Can you click on that icon for me ma’am?”

    Customer: “Right click or left click?”

    Me: “By default, always left click, unless I say otherwise.”

    Customer: “You already said that like three times!”

    Related:
    Stupidity Is The Mother Of Repetition

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