Featured Story:
  • Never Too Late (Or Early) To Apologize
    (2,459 thumbs up)
  • January Theme Of The Month: Prank Calls!
    Submit your story today!

    Well Whadya Know, It’s Working Now

    | Peoria, IL, USA |

    Me: “Thanks for calling ***, how can I help you?”

    Customer: “My phone service isn’t working.”

    Me: “Okay, I’ll see what I can do. What wireless company do you have?”

    Customer: “I don’t have wireless.”

    Me: “… I’m not sure I’m following you, ma’am.”

    Customer: “What’s not to follow? I said my PHONES AREN’T WORKING!”

    Me: “Okay, but in order to assist you, I need to know what service you have.”

    Customer: “AT&T.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but we don’t contract AT&T wireless in the store.”

    Customer: “Look, lady, it’s not WIRELESS. My HOME PHONES aren’t working, and I can’t get a hold of my son and I’m worried. The service has been on the fritz all day. I need you to FIX IT!”

    Me: “I’m sorry ma’am, I can’t fix your home phone service. You’ll have to call your provider.”

    Customer: “What are you, stupid? I bought the phone from you!”

    (She probably had bought the telephone through us, because we sell some made by/for AT&T. But we don’t do the service at all.)

    Me: “Ma’am, we don’t do the service. We are just the phone retailer. Is there something wrong with the phone itself?”

    Customer: “NO. It works fine, but I can’t actually CALL anywhere. Now, I need this FIXED. I’ve been without a phone all day, every phone in the house is messed up, and I can’t call my SON. I don’t have a phone at ALL! Do you understand?”

    Me: “Yes ma’am, I do, but like I said, we have nothing to do with your service. We just sell the PHONES. You have to call AT&T to see what’s wrong with your service.”

    Customer: “And just how am I supposed to do that, smarty-pants? I DON’T have a PHONE that WORKS!”

    Me: “With all due respect, ma’am, how did you call US?”

    Customer: “B*tch.” *click*

    Fowl Behavior, Part 2

    | Winnipeg, MB, Canada |

    (At the deli where I work, every couple hours I cook up between 12 and 20 whole chickens. They’re kept in the hot holding cabinet for customers to grab.)

    Customer: “I need ten.”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Customer: “These whole chickens. I need ten of them.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, that’s all we have, because we’re closing soon.”

    Customer: *rolls her eyes and takes absolutely everything left out of the holding cabinet*

    (Another customer approaches me soon afterward.)

    Another customer: “Excuse me, that lady just grabbed a chicken out of my hands, claiming it was hers. Will there be any more?”

    (Yes, that’s right. The first lady was going around taking chickens from other customers. Unbelievable.)

    Related:
    Fowl Behavior

    The Art Of Persuasion

    | New Hampshire, USA |

    (This is on one of the busiest days we’ve ever had. We literally had to stop letting people into the park)

    Guest: “Why can’t I go into the park?! I drove here from Cape Cod!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but the general manager said we’re not allowed to let anyone else in. We’re at capacity.”

    Guest: “Why can’t I go in now? There are a ton of people leaving!”

    Me: “There are a few things, sir. The general manager said we can’t allow anyone else in, we have weather coming which might halt operations, and even if we let you in, you honestly wouldn’t have fun. There are a ton of people in there.”

    Guest: “I DROVE HERE FROM CAPE COD! YOU HAVE TO LET ME AND MY FAMILY IN!”

    Me: “Sir, your options are you can stay here and complain to me about not being let in, or I can let you in, and you can pay $35 to complain to me that there are too many people inside the park. How’s that?”

    Guest: “On second thought, I’ll just go to the beach.”

    Haphazardly Placed Vowels Does Not A Language Make

    | Branson, MO, USA |

    (I’m a customer and see an employee is waiting on another customer. The employee speaks perfect English and actually looks Hawaiian.)

    Customer: “EL POLO ICE-CREAMO!”

    Employee: Umm… yeah?”

    Customer: “I want some choco-lato ice-creamo. GRASSIOS!”

    Employee: “I speak English fine. What size do you want?”

    Customer: “Oh, you are doing so good. Good job, boy. Umm… I want a GRAND-AY!”

    Let’s All Just Randomly Grab Crap

    | Atlanta, GA, USA |

    (I’m ringing up a customer’s items.)

    Customer: “That’s wrong. That’s on sale.”

    Me: “Well, the system is usually correct, and I don’t believe it is, but I can have someone check.”

    (After the area is checked, we find that I am correct.)

    Me: “The sign back there says the clearance EXCLUDES your item.”

    Customer: “No, it doesn’t.”

    Me: “Ma’am I just had an associate check for you to ensure that the item is not on sale.”

    Customer: “Yes it is! You are just a dumb cashier! Where is your supervisor?”

    Me: “Ma’am, I am the supervisor. I’m sorry, but the sign clearly says in large red letters that your item is excluded from the sale.”

    Customer: “Well, I shouldnt have to pay attention! I saw clearance so I just grabbed something. I should get it cheaper because of it!”

    Page 2,044/2,254First...2,0422,0432,0442,0452,046...Last