October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

Now With Extra Meow

| Gatineau, Canada | Uncategorized

Me: “Hi there, what would you like?”

Customer: “I’ll take a BLT sub.”

Me: “Coming right up…” *makes order*

Customer: “What’s that thing that looks like cat food?”

Me: “It’s tuna, ma’am.”

Customer: “Can I get some of it in my sub?”

Me: “Sure, but it’s going to cost some extra.”

Customer: “I don’t mind. I wanna try that cat food.”

Much Ado About Nothing

| Scotland, UK | Uncategorized

(A restaurant customer calls me over to his table with a problem.)

Me: “Is everything alright?”

Customer: “This is not a medium rare steak. It’s too over-cooked to be called medium rare.”

Me: “Would you like me to get the chef. sir?”

Customer: “I don’t want you to do a thing love”

Me: “You…don’t want me to do anything about it?”

Customer: “I don’t want you to do a thing.”

Me: “Uh, alright.”

(I leave him to it, but five minutes later he calls me over again.)

Me: “Hi, what can I help you with?”

Customer: “This is not a medium rare steak.”

Me: “Yes, you just explained it to me.”

Customer: “Well, it’s not.”

Me: “What would you like me to do about it, sir?”

Customer: “I don’t want you to do a thing.”

Me: “Would you like to speak to the chef?”

Customer: “I don’t care what you do!”

(I bring out the chef who resolves the problem; it’s apparently what the customer wanted me to do.)

Circle Of Strife

| United Kingdom | Uncategorized

Me: “Hello, how may I help you?”

Customer: “Hi, I was just wondering what is currently showing at the moment?”

Me: “Well, the current production is Timon of Athens.”

Customer: “Oh? Is that another sequel of The Lion King? Can I book seats for that?”

Me: “It’s a Shakespearean tragedy. It’s not about lions.”

Customer: “Oh, so it’s just about the meerkat?”

Klingon To The Hope Of A Ticket

| London, UK | Geeks Rule, Top

Customer: “Two tickets for Star Trek, please.”

Me: “That showing has sold out, sir.”

Customer: “What! That’s impossible!”

Me: “The IMAX is very popular sir. I am afraid we don’t have any more seats until tomorrow.”

Customer: “I need to see this movie! You’re not a Star Trek fan. You wouldn’t understand! Please sell me a ticket!”

Me: “I would love to sir, but the needs of the one or the few do not outweigh the needs of the many.”

Customer: *recognizing my quote from Star Trek* “I see. I suppose I couldn’t say that sometimes the needs of the one or the few do outweigh the needs of the many?”

Me: “No sir, that would be quite illogical.”

Customer: “Hmm, you’re good.”

Me: “I must have the lobes for business.”

Customer: “Two tickets for tomorrow then, please.”

Me: “Very good, sir.”

Customer: “Live long and prosper!”

Yukon See It On A Map

| Toronto, ON, Canada | Uncategorized

Me: “Thank you for calling ***. How may I direct your call?”

Customer: “Hi, I want to apply for your program.”

Me: “Okay. Actually, I noticed on the Caller ID that you‚Äôre calling from New York. Unfortunately, we are a Canadian company and our programs are only available to Canadian citizens. I’m assuming you’re not a Canadian citizen?”

Customer: “What do you mean?”

Me: “Well, are you Canadian?”

Customer: “I have my green card.”

Me: “No, sir, I’m talking about Canadian citizenship, not your green card.”

Customer: “I don’t understand what you’re telling me. What do you mean?”

Me: “Our programs are only available to Canadians, so you must be Canadian to apply.”

Customer: “What is this?”

Me: “What is what?”

Customer: “This Canadian thing. I don’t understand what you’re telling me. I have a green card!”

Me: “Canadian…as in, Canada the country.”

Customer: “What is this! I’ve never heard of that!”

Me: “I don’t even know what to tell you.”

Customer: “So, can I apply now or what?”

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