Belaboring The Points

| Springfield, MA, USA |

Me: “Thank you for calling ***, how can I help you?”

Customer: “Hi, yes. I just got back from surgery and I can’t remember my email password.”

Me: “Sure, I’ll be glad to help. Let me pull up your account and we can reset your password.”

(We proceed with a very routine process of setting a new email password. About halfway through, she bursts out laughing.)

Customer: “I’m sorry. My coworkers just handed me a card congratulating me on the new twins. I guess you can tell what kind of surgery I had, huh?”

Me: “I gu–”

Customer: “I’ve got BOOBS!”

Kill The Bill, Double The Trouble

, | Ohio, USA |

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we cannot accept $50 bills. It’s against our security policy.”

Customer: “When the h*** did this happen?”

Me: “Two years ago, ma’am.”

Customer: “I was in here last week and paid with a $100 bill.”

Me: “Ma’am, our register wouldn’t allow us to enter $100 bills. Do you happen to have a credit card?”

Customer: “What’s your name! I want to speak with your manager!”

Manager: “What’s the problem?”

Customer: “Your staff is lying by telling me he cannot accept a $50 bill. I was in here last week and paid with a $100 bill!”

Manager: “I was on register all last week, ma’am, and I would have told you the same thing. It’s against our policy to accept bills $50 or larger.”

Customer: “FINE!” *rips the bill in half* “HOW ABOUT NOW?”

Related:
Sometimes, Even Yoda Isn’t Enough

Senseless Sensibility

| Everett, WA, USA |

Customer: “Do you have the movie Sense and Sensibility?”

Me: “Yes we do, did you want the British or the American version?”

Customer: “I don’t know which one it was, but it has two parts.”

Me: “I think that would be the British version.”

(I take her to the section and show her the movie.)

Customer: “Yes, that’s it! I’ll take it!”

Me: “Great! Is there anything else I can do for you?”

Customer: “Does this movie use subtitles?”

Me: “Ma’am, it’s British.”

Customer: “Well I don’t know! I’m not an English major!”

How About Ten To The Durrrrr

| Fort Worth, TX, USA |

Me: “Hello, welcome to *** Bank. What can I do for you today?”

Customer: “I want to withdraw ten hundred dollars.”

Me: “Ten hundred? Is that one thousand?”

Customer: “Don’t say that so loud! I don’t want people to think I’m getting one thousand. That’s why I said ten hundred!”

When Stupidity Hits The Pint Of No Return

| New York, NY, USA |

Customer: “I see you changed your sizes?”

Me: “Yeah, we had to change it from pint and quart because too many people were asking which was bigger. Now we’ve got large and small.”

Customer: “They can’t tell by the price?”

Me: “Maybe they aren’t stressing it in schools anymore.”

(A second customer walks in and looks at a menu for a second.)

Customer: “But that is sad, kids don’t know which is bigger.”

Customer #2: “What’s bigger?”

Me: “Pint or a quart.”

Customer #2: “That’s pathetic.”

(A few moments of silence pass.)

Customer #2: “So, which is bigger, the large or the small?”

Page 2,029/2,593First...2,0272,0282,0292,0302,031...Last