Taxing Faxing, Part 4

| Pittsburgh, PA, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “Yeah, hi, I just called earlier to have a report faxed. It hasn’t come through yet.”

Me: “I already sent that out to you, but I can send another copy if you’d like.”

Customer: “Hmm. You think it could be my end?”

Me: “Let’s check the basics. Have you received faxes earlier? Is it plugged in?””

Customer: “Oh, here’s the problem! The paper isn’t loaded!”

Me: “Okay! Fill it up and I’ll send it again.”

Customer: “Um, I don’t seem to have any paper here. Could you fax me some paper so I could load it with it before you fax the report?”

Related:
Taxing Faxing, Part 3
Taxing Faxing, Part 2
Taxing Faxing

Supervisor Is Super Wiser

| Texas, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Thanks you for calling [company], how can I assist you today?”

Customer: “I want a supervisor.”

Me: “Is there any reason that you need the supervisor?”

Customer: “Just give me a supervisor!”

(I do the standard procedures to transfer to a supervisor. 3 minutes later, the same caller:

Customer: “What did the supervisor write in my account?”

(I saw the comments on the account, the supervisor wrote: “No more supervisor calls for this customer.”)

Bananas Can Taste Of Bitter Disappointment

| San Diego, CA, USA | Uncategorized

(We sell bananas next to the cash register with a sign fixture that reads: ‘Bananas – 90 cents!’.)

Me: “Here’s your tall coffee, sir.”

Customer: *looking at bananas* “Oh, so that’s what you call them! ‘Tropical Paradise Bars’. I’ve been calling them bananas my whole life!”

(I see the banana sign has accidentally been flipped over to read ‘Tropical Paradise Bars – $2.25’.)

Me: “Oh, that’s the wrong sign.” *flips sign back over*

Customer: “Oh. Never mind then.” *walks away looking disappointed*

Recruiting For New Blood

| Winnipeg, MB, Canada | Uncategorized

Donor: “I’ve never seen you here before.”

Me: “Well, yes, I am relatively new, but I’ve been involved with [blood bank] for a long time.”

Donor: “So, are you like a volunteer or something?”

Me: “No, I am an employee. I had to undergo several weeks of training for this.”

Donor: “But you look too young to be an employee!”

Me: “I assure you, I am a full employee.”

Donor: “But you’re only like 14!”

Me: “Actually sir, I’m 20, almost 21.”

Donor: “No way!”

Me: “Let me put it this way. Would you really want a 14 year old volunteer removing a 14 gauge needle from your arm and handling your blood?”

Donor: “Good point. Carry on.”

Tricky Customers Are Just Killer, Part 2

| Brisbane, Australia | Top

(I am sitting on a well known whale watching beach gathering data on migration numbers. I have a pair of binoculars.)

Tourist: “When are you going to put up the flags?”

Me: “Oh, no, I am not a lifesaver.”

Tourist: “Of course you are, who else sits on a beach with binoculars?”

Me: “Actually, I am recording how many whales go by.”

Tourist: “Whales? There are no whales here. This is a swimming beach.”

(I gesture to a pod of 6 whales passing around 50 meters away.)

Tourist: “Oh my goodness, killer whales! My children are on the beach! They could come right out of the water and steal my children!”

Me: “Um, no, they’re humpbacks. They eat tiny little fish and plankton. They can’t come up on the beach, so your children are safe.”

Tourist: “Don’t you know about Moby Dick? He eats people alive. It’s true, it’s in The Bible!” *takes his children and leaves*

Related:
Tricky Customers Are Just Killer

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