The Union Of Soviet Solar Systems

| Long Island, NY, USA | Language & Words, Math & Science, Uncategorized

Customer: “Excuse me, does this planet mobile include Pluto?”

Me: “Well, there’s only eight planets on the mobile. So no, it does not.”

Customer: “I refuse to accept that Pluto is not a planet anymore. I don’t care what the socialists say!”

Totally Randumb

| Boston, MA, USA | Bizarre, Uncategorized

Customer: “Okay, so I can’t decide what color I should get. Green, blue, or pink?”

Me: “Well, I really like the green.”

Customer: “No, no, never mind, I’ll just flip a coin.”

(Tries to find a coin in her pocket.)

Me: “I have a penny, if you’d like it.”

Customer: “Nah, I’m fine. I’ll just flip the coin in my head.”

Napoleon Dynamite Goes To The Zoo

| Quebec, Canada | Pets & Animals, Uncategorized

(I am in front of the tigers’ exhibit.)

Visitor: “Excuse me, where is the lion?”

Me: “There are on the other side of the park. Just follow the path to your right.”

Visitor: “What? You don’t keep the lions and tigers together?”

Me: “No. In the wild, they don’t live together.”

Visitor: “But how do they reproduce? The male lion needs to be with the female tiger!”

From The Mouth Of Babes, Part 3

| Athens, GA, USA | Family & Kids, Uncategorized

(A six year old girl comes up to me very anxiously while waiting in line to get food.)

Girl: “Ma’am, what’s this?”

Me: “What’s what?”

Girl: “This!” *I notice she’s holding her crotch*

Me: “You mean your skirt?”

Girl: “No, the thing under it!”

Me: “I…I…I don’t know. Ask your mom.”

Girl: “Ugh! I already did, and she doesn’t know either!”

Related:
From The Mouth Of Babes, Part 2
From The Mouth Of Babes

When (Not) In Rome

| Boston, MA, USA | Hotels & Lodging, Language & Words, Tourists/Travel, Uncategorized

Me: “Thanks for calling [executive car company]. How can I help you?”

Caller:“I need to make a reservation.”

Me: “Sure where is the pick up?”

Caller: “A hotel called the George V?” *she pronounces it like the letter ‘V’* “It’s in Paris, France.”

Me: “Okay.”

Caller: “Oh, wait. It’s called the hotel five!”

Me: “That makes sense, since the V must be a roman numeral.”

Caller: “Yeah, V must mean 5 in French. It was confusing to me and you because we are English.”

Me: “Haha, yeah. That must be it…”

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