November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Wireless, Clueless, & Hopeless, Part 3

| California, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Thanks for calling [store], how may I help you?”

Customer: “Hello. I have a console that can connect to the internet and every time I try to connect it asks for a password. It didn’t used to do that. Is there any way I can create a password for it?”

Me: “That’s odd. Did you get a new router for your internet connection?”

Customer: “A what?”

Me: “Do you have wireless internet in your house?”

Customer: “I don’t have internet.”

Me: “Sir, you are connecting to your neighbor’s internet. They didn’t like it so they put a password on their network so that you can’t connect to it.”

Customer: “So can I set up a password and connect to it?”

Wireless Clueless & Hopeless, Part 2
Wireless Clueless & Hopeless

Elixirs Of Everlasting Life Are On Aisle 5

| Evansville, IN, USA | Uncategorized

(While ringing up a customer, the computer flags cold medicine and asks for age verification.)

Me: “Sir, I need to verify your date of birth.”

Customer: “Why?”

Me: “You’re trying to buy medicine and I just need your date of birth to confirm you are over the age of 18.”

Customer: “Oh. April 20th, 1420.”

Me: “Sir, I really need your actual birth date to continue.”

Customer: “4-20-1420. Put it in.”

(I enter the date. The system accepts. I look in disbelief.)

Customer: “Told you.”

They Don’t Call Her Dumblesnore For Nothing

| USA | Top

(Someone has been sleeping on a chair poolside for many hours. It’s routine to wake a customer if they’re getting too badly burned.)

Me: “Excuse me, miss? You must wake up. You are getting badly sunburned.”

Customer: *sleepily* “Where am I? Is this Hogwarts?”

Me: “No, ma’am.”

Customer: “Narnia?”

Me: “Nope.”

Customer: “Camp Half-Blood?”

Me: “Not even close.”

Customer: *pauses* “Well s***, then.”

Trouble Brewing

| Arkansas, USA | Uncategorized

(A customer puts beer on the table to buy.)

Me: “Can I see your ID please, sir?”

Customer: “Oh, I don’t have it.”

Me: “Sorry, I can’t sell this to you. You have to have a valid ID.”

Customer: “Can’t you tell I’m 21?”

Me: “Yes, sir, but policy requires me to ID you if you look under 40.”

Customer: “Well, I have this…will it work? You guys have taken it before when I bought beer.”

(Customer hands me a pink government paper with his name and information on it.)

Me: “What is this?”

Customer: “My DUI report.”


| Georgia, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “I was reading your menu. What is a smoked half-chicken?”

Me: “It’s half of a chicken that has been smoked over pecan wood.”

Customer: “What kind of chicken?”

Me: “Do you mean flavor? We don’t put any sauce on it…it’s served plain.”

Customer: “No…I mean what kind of chicken?”

Me: “Well, they just cut a whole chicken in half so you get the white and dark meat.”

Customer: “No! I mean, is it like from a cow or what?!”