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    Time To Fire The Marketing Department

    | Lansing, IL, USA |

    (I work at a large electronics retail chain, the largest in the world, that has very large lighted signs on the outside of their buildings, an easily recognizable color scheme, and million-dollar highly polished TV commercials.)

    (I was standing near computer software, towards the BACK of the store, when a customer walked straight down the center aisle, passing all the other departments and products, and right up to me. He opened his mouth, paused for a second, and asked me:)

    Customer: “What store is this?”

    Behind Every Man Is An Embarassed Wife

    , | USA |

    (The place I work at, our dining room closes at 10pm but the drive-through stays open all night. I had just locked both the dining room doors when a man comes up and starts banging on the 1st door. We start talking through the door.)

    Me: “Sorry, we’re closed.”

    Customer: “You screwed up my order!”

    Me: “I’m sorry. You could go through our drive-through and they’d be happy to help you.”

    Customer: “I just came through! They’re the ones that messed it up.”

    Me: “I’m really sorry about that, if you go through again they’ll fix it for you.”

    Customer: “I don’t have my car!”

    Me: “But you said you just went through?”

    Customer: “Yeah, but I don’t have my car anymore.”

    Me: “I can give you our store number. If you call, we’ll replace your order tomorrow.”

    Customer: “Just open the door!”

    Me: “I can’t sir, we’re closed.”

    (The man then walks around the store to the 2nd door and starts banging there.)

    Me: “Sir, the only way we can fix this is if you go through the drive-through or give us a call.”

    Customer: “I don’t have a phone!”

    Me: “You can save your receipt and show it to us tomorrow. We’ll replace the whole order.”

    Customer: “This is bullshit!”

    (He then enters the drive-through on foot, weaving through cars in line, gets between the drive-through window and a car waiting to order and starts banging on the glass.)

    Manager: “I’m sorry sir, I can’t open the window unless you’re in a car.”

    Customer: “I don’t have my car anymore and you messed up my order. Tell your employees to open the door.”

    Manager: “I’m sorry, we can’t unlock the doors once we’re closed. That’s our policy. If you return in the morning, we’ll be glad to help.”

    Customer: “Don’t f*ck with me. I’ll call the cops on you! You can’t refuse service to me!”

    (Just then, a car pulls up behind him. The woman driving rolls down her window.)

    Woman: “Get in the f*cking car! Its not that big a deal.”

    Customer: “They won’t fix our order!”

    Woman: “Get in the f*cking car! This is f*cking embarrassing!”

    (The man gets in and the car pulls up to the window.)

    Woman: “I’m sorry. All that happened was you forgot to give us a burrito.”

    Manager: “We’ll get that for you right away.”

    (As soon as window is closed, the woman starts yelling at the man again.)

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    Of All The Times To Dial A Wrong Number

    | Austin, TX, USA |

    (Okay, so I was answering the phone and this guy calls us instead of the number he means to…)

    Me: “Hello?”

    Him: “Hey baby.”

    Me: “What?”

    Him: “I’ve got the stuff for tonight, are you ready for it?”

    Me: “Um, WHAT?”

    Him: “You know what, babe…”

    Me: “I think you have the wrong number…”

    Him: “Oh good lord, I’m sorry! BYE!” *click*

    (Me and my mother laughed about that one for a good 5 minutes.)

    Deja Vu In Aisle 3

    | Oakville, ON, Canada |

    (I work in the stock department of a small, local grocery store. Generally, I would get 1 or 2 requests to check the back for an item a shift. An elderly woman-I’d say around 75-80–approaches me. She is asking about a common type of flour we carry.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, I’ve managed to find 4 of these. Would you care to check the back room to see if you have any more?”

    Me: “Sure thing.”

    (I grab a single flour package from her. After 1-2 minutes of aimless searching in the backroom, I return the bag to the woman.)

    Customer: “Why, thank you! Now I have 4! Thats exactly how many I needed! God bless you!”

    (I was way too embarrassed for her to explain the situation.)

    Me: “You’re…welcome. Anything else?”

    Customer: “One more thing, dear.”

    Me: “What is it?”

    Customer: “Can you check the back to see if you have any more of these?”

    Caught Red-Handed, Part 2

    | Chicago, IL, USA |

    (This is why it’s good to check inside the box when someone returns something.)

    Me: “Ok sir, what’s wrong with the XBOX360?”

    Customer: “Oh, it just doesn’t work.”

    Me: “Ok.”

    (I get the box, and policy indicates that I have to open it up. I look inside and there was a Sega Saturn with a couple of old stereo parts.)

    Me: “I’m sorry sir, this isn’t what supposed to be inside here.”

    Customer: *fumbling for words* “Oh…oh…uh…that isn’t it. I have the real one at home. I’ll just get it…”

    (Customer picks up the box and walks away, never to be seen from again. All the while I sit back laughing.)

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    Caught Red-Handed

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