• Holy Guacamole, Get Off The Phone!
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  • May Theme Of The Month: Movie Mayhem!

    Milk That Lie Dry

    | Thunder Bay, ON, Canada | Uncategorized

    Me: “Here’s your smoothie, ma’am.”

    Customer: “Oh, does this have milk in it? I have a violent reaction to milk! I can’t have milk.”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am. There’s 2% in it. I can make it with a protein powder but that may have milk products in it.”

    Customer: “Oh. Well, I can’t have it. Just make me a hot chocolate.”

    Me: “Ma’am, to make that, I have to use milk.”

    Customer: “Oh, that’s okay. I can have milk if it’s hot chocolate.”

    Me: “Alrighty.”

    What A Tool

    | Saskatchewan, Canada | Uncategorized

    Me: “Hello, what can I do for you today?”

    Customer: “I’d like to buy this table saw, but I only want to pay $300.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but the price is $400.”

    Customer: “But I only want to pay $300!”

    (This goes back and forth 3 or 4 times.)

    Customer: “Tell you what. Take $100 off the table saw and I might come in next week and buy that!” *points to a $20 tool*

    Me: “Sorry, sir but I’m not taking $100 off an item just because you buy a $20 item in a week.”

    Customer: “You clearly don’t know how to run a business!”

    No Date Like The Present

    Montana, USA | Uncategorized

    (Customers use our computers to file for unemployment.)

    Customer: “We need some help over here.”

    Me: “Okay, let me see what the problem is.”

    (The customer has been trying to enter in previous dates of employment. There is an error due to the start date being entered as ‘04-31-2008’.)

    Me: “I don’t think there is an April 31st.”

    Customer: “Well, how were we supposed to know that?!”

    Fish Trek 2: It All Goes Downstream From Here

    | Colorado, USA | Colorado, USA | Top

    Customer: “This book looks interesting. How do I watch it?”

    Me: “Watch it?”

    Customer: “Yes, where can I find the movie?”

    Me: “I don’t think this book has been adapted into a movie.”

    Customer: “What do you mean? Where can I go to watch it? I want to know what happens in the book!”

    Me: “Forgive me for asking, but if you want to know what happens, why not just read it?”

    Customer: “Read? How stupid! Where’s the movie! All books are made into movies so that we don’t have to read them!”

    Me: “I am sorry, I can’t help you. This is a bookstore. Only popular books–usually adventure stories–are adapted into movies. I am quite sure that this book hasn’t been made into a movie.”

    Customer: “Why not?!”

    Me: “Because it’s a fishing manual.”

    We Should Put A Cheesy Title Here But Then We’d Just Get Burned

    | Columbia, SC, USA | Uncategorized

    (A customer orders nachos and comes back 20 minutes later.)

    Customer: “Excuse me.”

    Me: “Can I help you?”

    Customer: “Yeah I just ordered these nachos and the cheese ain’t hot!”

    Me: “I’m sorry ma’am. The dispenser is supposed to keep the cheese hot.”

    Customer: “Well you see this?” *sticks finger in the cheese* “I should be burning myself right now!”

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