Must Be Super Baked

| USA | Awesome Workers, Bizarre, Food & Drink

(Our bakery is designed so that customers can see me working. There are large signs proclaiming BAKERY right above the employee door. One day I am bent over doing some intricate detail work on a trim. I am clearly wearing our uniform and appropriate apron.)

Customer: “Do you work in the bakery?”

(I don’t immediately respond, thinking they were addressing my coworker who is right there out on the sales floor.)

Customer: “Excuse me! Do you work in the bakery?”

Me: *look up with a slightly incredulous look on my face* “Yes. What can I help you with?”

(The customer asks a question which I cheerfully answer and they leave. I immediately start laughing. My coworker gives me an inquisitive look.)

Me: “I don’t know why I keep getting that question. Next time I’m going to panic and say ‘OH, GAWD, I’M SLEEP-DECORATING AGAIN! How did I get here?!'”

(We laughed and shook our heads and continued working in our bakery, which we then dubbed ‘The Fakery.’)

Better Than Thanksgiving

funny-black-friday-snaps1

The Signs Of Change

| Omaha, NE, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Workers, Language & Words

Me: “Paper or plastic?”

Customer: “Paper.” *after some consideration* “No, plastic.”

(My bagger obviously doesn’t catch the change, and continues bagging in paper.)

Customer: “Excuse me!” *snaps her fingers in front of the bagger’s face* “Weren’t you listening? I want plastic! Not paper! You should be paying attention!”

(My bagger, startled, gives her a confused look and starts signing something, indicating that he’s deaf. The woman goes extremely pale.)

Customer: “Uh, thank you. Goodbye.” *she grabs her bags, still paper, and rushes out of the store*

(My bagger then slides me a note that says:)

Note: “What I said to that woman was so rude.”

Seven, Eight, Nein!

| MD, USA | Bizarre, Language & Words

(I work part time at my dad’s plumbing company, which bears our last name, doing basic office work, and learning about running a business. I’m filling out a work order for an older customer’s rental home. We live in an area with a lot of German heritage.)

Me: “And can I have your address?”

Customer: “It’s seventy-seven [Street Name].”

(I write the address down and, per usual, cross my sevens.)

Customer: “Look at your sevens. That’s a very German way of writing.”

Me: “Well, you know, as you can tell from my very German last name, we’ve got a lot of German blood.”

Customer: *leaning in and glaring* “That’s how they found the Nazis you know. They made them write stuff down and look at their sevens.”

(The customer is now quite close to my face and glaring at me.)

Me: “You don’t say…” *slowly backing up behind the service counter* “Well, I think I got everything here…”

Customer: *suddenly very chipper* “That’s great! Hope to see you soon!”

Dad: *apparently overhearing everything* “Did that guy just call us Nazis?!”

Life Is Stupider Than Fiction

| PA, USA | Extra Stupid, Movies & TV

(In my time working at a movie theater, I’ve recognized one major, recurring issue for customers: theater satisfaction surveys. They are explicit and clear that the customers are supposed to be rating ONLY their experience with our theater and staff, our cleanliness, how courteous we were, etc. The forms clearly state that they are NOT for rating the movies customers saw. Yet, many customers are oblivious, and will give our theater and staff low ratings because they saw a film they didn’t end up liking. It’s a serious issue, as corporate assumes the low scores are due to staff and theater issues, and they will often cause employees to be denied raises, etc. They can even cause employees to be fired. One day, a customer has just approached me.)

Me: “Hi! What can I do for you?”

Customer: “Can I get a customer satisfaction survey to take?”

Me: “Sure thing! Was something wrong with the theater or our staff?”

Customer: “No. The theater was lovely and the staff is great.”

Me: “Fantastic. One second, and I’ll get you a survey!”

(I hand him a satisfaction survey and a pen, and am shocked to see he is rating our staff, theater, cleanliness, etc. ‘Highly Unsatisfactory’ – the lowest rating.)

Me: “Sir. Why are you giving us bad grades on the survey? You said everything was good.”

Customer: “Oh. Everything was good. I just didn’t like the movie. It was confusing.”

Me: “Sir, the surveys are not for the film itself. They’re for the theater and our staff.”

Customer: “Oh, but I want the studios to know I didn’t like the movie.”

Me: “That’s not how these surveys work. We don’t make the films; we just show them. The surveys are for customers to give feedback on how we performed. It’s a common mistake people make, but I’m going to strongly encourage you not to submit that survey.”

Customer: “Why not?”

Me: “Because corporate will take one look at a survey like that, and assume it was something wrong we did.”

Customer: “But you guys were great.”

Me: “I understand. But the forms clearly state that they are only for the theater and staff, not the movie. So, by filling out and signing it, you’re essentially telling our corporate HQ that we did a poor job. Sending that in could get people fired.”

Customer: “…but how else can I let the studios know I didn’t like the film? I don’t want people to get fired, but I want the studio to know I didn’t like the movie.”

Me: “Those forms don’t go to the studios. They go to our theater’s corporate HQ. As I said, we don’t make the movies. I could recommend you go to a movie website and write a negative review, instead of giving us poor ratings.”

Customer: “I’ll just take my chances with this, thanks. I think the studios will get the idea.”

Me: “Those forms don’t go to the studios, but I can’t stop you. I will just strongly advise you not to send it in.”

(He did send it in. And people were ALMOST fired, as it wasn’t the first time someone was oblivious and sent in terrible grades for not liking the film. Corporate HAS to process the grades, whether or not you note that it was just the film you didn’t like. Thankfully, nobody lost their jobs, but it caused some issues with a few employees who were supposed to get raises in the near future. PLEASE READ THE FORMS, PEOPLE!)

Page 2/2,59512345...Last