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    One More ‘One More’

    | Los Angeles, CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Liars & Scammers

    (The FAQ on our event website states that the maximum group size is 10.)

    Customer: “What is the maximum group size?”

    Me: “10.”

    Customer: “We have a group of 11; can you make an exception just this once?”

    Me: “We will do our best to accommodate your group, but I can’t make guarantees.”

    Customer: “So is that a yes?”

    Me: “We will do our best. I don’t see it being a problem.

    Customer: “Okay, great. And actually, we have 12 in our group, but what’s one more?”

    How To Get Ahead Of The Sales

    | USA | Bad Behavior, Holidays

    (It is the middle of the Black Friday rush. One of my coworkers approaches me looking particularly disheveled.)

    Me: “Are you okay?”

    Coworker: “You know it’s Black Friday when you have to pick up discarded items from all over the floor… and while doing so, a customer tries to step on your head to avoid taking a few steps around you…”

    You’d Be A Fool Not To

    | Bay Area, CA, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Family & Kids

    (A woman and her six-year-old son walk into my store. She asks my coworker for help, while her son makes his way over to a case containing common and semi-precious stones. They are the only two in the store, so I have fun showing him some of the stones. He has picked up an egg-shaped piece of pyrite – also known as fool’s gold.)

    Son: “Mom! Can I have it?!”

    Mom: “I don’t know, baby. How much is it?”

    Me: “It’s [price under $5], ma’am.”

    Son: “So can I, Mama? Pleeeaaassseee?”

    Mom: “Why do you want it so badly?”

    Son: *looks thoughtful for a moment* “Because it’s AMAZING, and I want to fill my room with AMAZING things.”

    Mom: *almost under her breath* “Well, I don’t see how I can argue with that.”

    Underwear Unaware

    | PA, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Liars & Scammers

    (My place of work is fairly well known in my town and the surrounding area. My boss’s wife occasionally works in the shop.)

    Customer: “Oh, you know, I’m great friends with [Boss]. We go way back.”

    Boss’s Wife: “Oh, really? That’s funny, because I’ve been washing his underwear for ten years and I have absolutely no idea who you are!”

    Data Can Be Fluid

    | NJ, USA | Spouses & Partners, Technology, Theme Of The Month

    (I work at an office supply store that also sells technology. I work in the supplies department, and get a call:)

    Me: “Office supplies, how can I help you?”

    Customer: “I was wondering, do you have hard drive fluid?”

    Me: “…hard drive fluid? That’s… not a thing.”

    Customer: “Yes, it is! Do you have any?!”

    Me: “Let me transfer you to the technology department. They’ll be able to assist you.”

    (I transfer him to a coworker who comes to talk to me after.)

    Coworker: “Hard drive fluid?”

    Me: “Yeah, I have no idea.”

    Coworker: “You know that was your boyfriend, right?”

    Me: “No…”

    (That was not the first, or last, time my boyfriend called to prank the store, where he previously worked, although he never tried it on me again.)

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