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    Probably Also Watched The Simple Life

    | Sanford, FL, USA | Bad Behavior, Liars & Scammers, Movies & TV, Religion

    Me: “Hi. This is [My Name] calling with [Company] regarding savings on the electric bill. May I please speak with [Customer]?”

    Customer: “WE’RE AMISH! WE DON’T HAVE ELECTRICITY!”

    Me: “But you have a phone?”

    Customer: “We sometimes have phones at the end of our properties for emergencies! You’d know that if you watched Amish Mafia!”

    Me: “So, you also have a TV?”

    *click*

    You’re Through To The Fee Line

    | Scottsdale, AZ, USA | Bizarre, Pets & Animals, Tourists/Travel, Transportation

    (I do quality assurance for a travel agency. My job is to monitor the calls to make sure that the agents are being honest with the members. One day, I’m listening to a member asking questions about booking a cruise. Most of them are pretty standard, and then I hear this:)

    Agent: “Now that I have your cruise all booked for you, do you have any other questions for me?”

    Member: “Just one, and it’s very important. Does my cat need a passport?”

    Agent: “Ummm…”

    Rust Or Bust

    | IL, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Transportation

    (I work in a car dealership on the service drive. A customer pulls her car onto the drive, gets out, and walks up to my desk. I can see from the scowl on her face she is clearly angry.)

    Customer: “I JUST bought this new car last week and it is already rusting! I demand you give me a new car!”

    Me: “Okay, can you show me where the rust is?”

    (We walk to her car.)

    Customer: “See, right there on the door! THAT IS RUST!”

    Me: “Ma’am, that is just a little mud. Let me get a clean towel and I’ll get that right off for you.”

    Customer: “No, you are lying! You’re just going to paint it over! I know rust when I see it! I’m not stupid!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I assure you it is not rust, and I will not put paint on it.”

    Customer: “Don’t you touch it! I demand to see the manager!”

    Me: “Sure. I’ll be right back.”

    (I come back with my manager after I explained the situation to him.)

    Customer: “See that… THAT RIGHT THERE! THAT’S RUST! I DEMAND YOU GIVE ME A NEW CAR! IT’S ONLY A WEEK OLD!”

    (My manager grabs a rag and puts it in his back pocket before walking out to speak to the customer. Without saying a word, he takes the rag out, leans down and wipes the mud off before the customer can say anything. The customer immediately gets down on her hands and knees to examine where the mud had been.)

    Manager: “There you go, ma’am. It was just a little spot of mud.”

    (The customer snatches the rag out of my manager’s hand.)

    Customer: “Let me see that! You just put paint over it!”

    (The customer examines the obviously clean and paint-free rag, then tosses it on the floor.)

    Customer: “You people need to make sure a car is clean before you deliver it to a customer! I am letting you people know you won’t get away with anything!”

    (The customer comes in regularly, and has complained similarly about MANY things on her car since, demanding a new car every time.)   

    Contains Refunds Not Suitable For A Younger Audience

    | Surrey, England, UK | Family & Kids, Liars & Scammers, Movies & TV

    (My colleague has kicked out a pair of boys from a 15-rated film. Managers have stated to us in the past that screen jumpers do not get refunds.)

    Boy: “We want our money back!”

    Colleague: “I’ll talk to the manager.”

    (My colleague goes behind the concession stand for a couple of minutes and comes out.)

    Colleague: “My manager says he will not be issuing you a refund.”

    Boy: “Then let us back into our film!”

    Colleague: “No.”

    (My colleague leaves me standing on gate with these boys.)

    Boy: “Why can’t you let us back in?”

    Me: “You’ve broken the contract you signed by buying a ticket, which states that refunds are not issued, that you will go to the film on your ticket and not into one you’ve been refused entry to, and you’ve broken the trust in our staff that you will keep your deal.”

    Boy: “Well, we’re not leaving until we get our money back.”

    Me: “You’ve broken your side of the bargain. We have a zero tolerance policy against people who run between screens for any reason and thus we will not be issuing you a refund. Your threat can be seen as harassment, and at this point your only options are to leave this building, or go home escorted by the police. I really don’t mind which.”

    (The boys hesitate, and then run off!)

    Attraction Detraction

    | Germany | Crazy Requests, Hotels & Lodging, Tourists/Travel

    (Our hotel is located in a nature park. In November, there are not many tourists around, since the weather tends not to be very good for hiking in the forest – the prime reason for coming here. Many tourism related businesses close this time of year. We are open for one more week before closing ourselves. We have an attractive ‘stay three nights, pay two’ offer. I am talking to a guest at checkout)

    Guest: “We really enjoyed our stay, but we were disappointed that most of the tourist attractions in the area were closed.”

    Me: “Yeah. This is the last week for us, too, before we close.”

    Guest: “Had I known that everything was closed, I would not have come here. Why is your hotel open when everything else is closed?”

    Me: “We do not know why our customers are here. What if you needed to go to a funeral or were here on business and you could not book any hotel because they were all closed? And is the special offer perhaps an indication that it could be low season?”

    Guest: “You should not be open. Next year you HAVE to close the same date as the other businesses. It is not fair that you stay open longer, and tricking customers in coming to stay with you!”

    Me: *speechless*


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