November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

‘Surprise’-ingly Good Parenting

| Calgary, AB, Canada | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids

(Our store is known for our “surprise bags”, where, for a few bucks, you get six randomly chosen accessories that are gathered from the old stock sent back to corporate. To keep the element of surprise, the bags are colored blue and not very opaque, which means that a lot of curious customers will tear open the bags to see what’s inside. I come around the corner and I see a young girl pull a long thin hair clip out of the bag where it had been against the plastic and uses it to try to wedge the bag open. If they’re really young kids, we usually just tell them that they can’t do that and deal with the bag, but this girl looks to be about ten and should know better.)

Me: “Excuse me, you can’t open that.”

Girl: *startled that she had been caught* “I didn’t open it.”

(What I didn’t notice this that at the same time I caught the girl, so did her mother.)

Mother: *to daughter* “What are you doing?!”

Girl: “Nothing.”

Me: “Your daughter was opening one of the surprise bags.”

Girl: “No, I wasn’t!”

Mother: *to me* “Oh, I know. I saw her do it.”

Girl: “I wasn’t opening it!”

Mother: “Then what were you doing?”

Girl: “…”

Me: “Don’t worry about it. Our policy is that we can’t force you to buy it. But, unfortunately I’m going to have to take the bag and put it in our damaged products bins.”

Mother: “Oh, no! She opened it; she’s buying it!”

(The mother grabbed her daughter by the arm and marched her over to the register where she made her daughter use her allowance money to buy the opened surprise bag. Even as they were leaving the store I still heard the daughter insisting that she didn’t open it.)

A Jarring Experience

| Guelph, ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Awesome Workers, Movies & TV

(I’m putting out stock in the electronics department when I overhear the following conversation between a co-worker and an older man carrying some groceries.)

Customer: “You’d better have a blu-ray copy of [Sci-Fi Movie that was released a few days prior] or I’m gonna shove this jar of peanuts up your a**.”

Coworker: “Well, sir, I personally prefer dry roasted peanuts, and those ones are honey roasted…”

(My coworker indicates a large display of the movie in question.)

Coworker: “…and here are 200 copies of [Movie], no more than a few feet away from where you are standing. Is there anything else I can help you with today?”

(The customer grabs a movie and walks away quickly, pointedly not looking at my coworker.)

This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 46

| Eugene, OR, USA | Extra Stupid, Money

(I work as a teller, and one of my jobs is to field phone calls.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Bank]; this is [My Name]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, I’m trying to make an online purchase with my debit card and it’s not working! I need you to fix this.”

Me: “Well, sir, it sounds like your card may be blocked. I can transfer—”

Customer: *interrupting* “No! This is a brand new card; I just got it today from the bank. Now they told me it would work, and it doesn’t!”

Me: “That’s odd, let me…”

Customer: “And another thing! How do you get away with issuing already expired cards?”

Me: “Well, sir, our temporary cards expire after a set time, but they are always good when issued.”

Customer: “No! This one says February 18th, right on there! Now today is the 24th, which means this is expired!”

Me: *face-palm* “Sir… all cards list the expiration date as month and year. That is February of 2018 listed on the card, and I assure you if you use that date you will be able to make your purchase.”

Customer: “That’s… that’s not what I was told! I was told this would expire this year!”

Me: “Yes, sir. The temporary card will. However it must have the same expiration date listed on it as the permanent card with the same number that is being mailed to you. I promise, February of 2018 will work.”

Customer: “Well… I suppose I’ll try it. But that’s darn foolish!” *click*

This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 45
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 44
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 43

An Unrewarding Experience

| St. John's, NL, Canada | At The Checkout, Bizarre

(I work as a supervisor at a grocery store, and we have just launched a new rewards card for the store, and started asking every customer with their order if they want to get the new card. I am called over to this exchange between a cashier:)

Me: “Hi, is there a problem?”

Customer: “Your cashier is trying to track me.”

Me: “Excuse me?” *I exchange glances with my cashier, who is very confused, too*

Customer: “What don’t you understand?”

Me: “How is she trying to track you?”

Customer: “She wants me to sign up for this card so the government can see everything I buy and everywhere I go.”

(I almost start laughing, before I realize he is serious.)

Me: “Sir, this card is just a rewards card for us to keep competitive with [Competitor].”

Customer: “I don’t shop there because they’re trying to track me, too. This government wants to get me. I’ve gotta get out of here.”

(The customer proceeded to walk out of the story, leaving his groceries behind, and I haven’t seen him since.)

The Jewel Fool

| USA | Bad Behavior, Tourists/Travel, Transportation

(I’m in the TSA pre-check line, since I have *paid* for clearance for such. Recently, the policy has been that flyers over 65 get automatic pre-check, for the most part. In front of me in the security screening line is an older woman, who I assume got the “elderly flyer” clearance.)

TSA Agent: “Ma’am, you need to remove your jewelry to go through the metal detector. You can probably go through with a single necklace or ring, but not with the numerous pieces you’re wearing. If you have something really valuable, we can hold it within your sight while you walk through.”

Elderly Flyer: “I’m not letting any of my very valuable jewelry out of my sight… It’ll be fine; just let me through.”

TSA Agent: “We can’t really stop you from trying… Please walk through the metal detector.”

(Of course the metal detector goes nuts with her piles of jewelry, but despite TSA’s requests to take the jewelry off or step aside, she continues ranting and raving and blocking the metal detector so that no one else can proceed. Eventually, they get her off to the side, and let people behind her go through the metal detector. I don’t remove my wedding set since I know that it doesn’t contain enough metal to set off the detectors, but that is literally the only metal on my person.)

Elderly Flyer: “NOW HOLD ON A MINUTE! She just walked through the metal detector wearing a hunk of a rock, and you didn’t hold her up for one second. Why am I being persecuted?”

TSA Agent: “Ma’am, she was wearing just one ring, and a typical wedding ring won’t set off the detectors. You are wearing several necklaces, bracelets, and rings. You don’t have to take it all off, but more than one necklace, bracelet, or ring will probably set off the detectors, and then we have to re-screen you. Again, if any one of your pieces of jewelry are very valuable, we can hold it while you walk through the metal detector, and it will never be out of your sight.”

Elderly Flyer: “I just don’t understand why I’m being subject to such intense screening. I’m an innocent old lady!”

Me: *finally snapping* “Look, lady, you were put in this line just because you are old. If you were even a few years younger, you’d be standing in a long line downstairs and have to take not only your jewelry, but also shoes and coat off, plus remove the iPad I saw you using a few minutes ago from your bag, and I’m going to bet you have liquids in your bag you didn’t have to remove, either. I paid $100 and went through a background check and in-person interview to use this line… You got here for free because you are old. Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth. If they asked me to take my wedding set off because it set the metal detector off, I would do it, even though it’s worth at least 10 times what all your costume jewelry is. Take your jewelry off, put it through the x-ray machine, and GET OVER IT.”

(She stood there mouth agape that someone would tell her what’s what. The TSA agent at the end of the line, where I was retrieving my carry on, gave me a discreet high-five.)