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  • August Theme Of The Month: Best. Customer. Ever!

    Can’t Follow Her Train Of Thought

    | USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

    Me: “Can I help you find something?”

    Customer: “Yes, I’m looking for a board game about trains, and there’s tickets…”

    Me: “Oh, Ticket To Ride?”

    Customer: “No. In the game, you collect these tickets for different routes, and you used these colored trains to connect the routes…”

    Me: “That’s Ticket To Ride. It’s actually one of my favorites—”

    Customer: “It’s NOT Ticket To Ride. But in the game, the different tickets are worth a certain amount of points, and the further the routes are from one another, the more points the ticket is worth…”

    Me: “Hold on.”

    (I grab a copy of ‘Ticket To Ride’ off the shelf and show it to her, with the name of the game facing me. An image of the game’s board is printed on the back.)

    Me: “Is this the game you’re looking for?”

    Customer: “Yes!” *grabs the game*

    Me: “This is Ticket To Ride. ”

    Customer: “Oh, then this isn’t it.” *drops it back onto the counter*

    Makes You Freeze In Place

    | Phoenix, AZ, USA | Bad Behavior, Health & Body

    (I work in a fairly large grocery store. Arizona heat can be brutal. As I am walking around the store, I see a shopping cart full of ice cream, but since it’s so hot, I don’t think much of it. As I am walking down the aisle, I look and see a man INSIDE the freezer.)

    Me: “Sir! Please come out of the freezer!”

    Customer: “No!”

    Me: “Sir, you could suffocate in there!”

    Customer: *in a whiny voice* “But it’s hot outside!”

    Doesn’t Think Deeply Enough

    | UK | Extra Stupid

    (The customer comes up to the counter, and speaks to my colleague.)

    Customer: “Hi, I know this is a really stupid question…”

    Colleague: “Okay.” *chuckling* “Go ahead.”

    Customer: “How long a piece of rope will I need to drop a crab net?”

    Colleague: *pauses* “Um, well, how deep is the water you’re dropping it into?”

    Customer: “Oh… I don’t know. Good point. Never mind.”

    From Flappers To Flares

    | USA | Crazy Requests, History

    Customer: “Hi, I need a dress for a show I’m singing in.”

    Me: “Okay, no problem. What time period are you looking for?”

    Customer: “Just a dress from ‘back then.'”

    Me: “When exactly?”

    Customer: “Like, between the ’20s and the ’60s.”

    Makes An Age Of Difference

    | Canada | At The Checkout, Health & Body

    (I’m in my early twenties but I look younger than I am. Many people comment on it, asking if I’m old enough to be a cashier. This happens near the end of my shift one night, close to my twenty-second birthday.)

    Me: “So, your total comes to [total].”

    Customer: *as he’s paying with his card* “You look young, but you have the mannerisms and grace of someone in their twenties and sound older than you look.”

    Me: “Thank you?”

    Customer: “You look young, but you’re probably mid-twenties, maybe 24?”

    (After two years of people saying I look like I’m 12, or that I look too young to work, this is the best thing to hear. I must be grinning like crazy at this.)

    Customer: “Based on your expression, you don’t hear that too often.”

    Me: “You have no idea. I’m close to 22, but your guess is the closest I’ve heard in the two years I’ve been working here.”

    Customer: “Seriously? You have the manner and grace of someone in their early-to-mid twenties!”

    Me: *handing him his receipt* “Thank you for that. Not many people are happy to be asked if they’re older than they are. Have a good night!”

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