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    The Lights Are Off, But Sadly Someone’s Home, Part 2

    | Oshawa, ON, Canada |

    Caller: “I’m trying to help my mother with a computer problem. Her internet keeps cutting out and just stops working without warning.”

    Me: “That’s unusual. Does the computer offer any error messages?”

    Caller: “No, that’s what’s really weird. The computer also just dies randomly.”

    Me: “The computer dies and the internet stops. Does anything else happen?”

    Caller: “She says the lights go out in this room.”

    Me: “Just that room?”

    Caller: “Yes.”

    Me: “Does she normally turn off the lights by using a wall switch?”

    Caller: “Yes, how did you know?”

    Me: “Is her computer plugged into something like a power bar, that is plugged into the same outlet as the light?”

    Caller: “Yes…oh. I’m an idiot, aren’t I?”

    Related:
    The Lights Are Off, But Sadly Someone’s Home

    Fake On A Break

    | Wisconsin, USA |

    Me: “May I see some ID sir?”

    Customer: “Uh, yeah. Here.”

    (I take a look at the ID and am utterly speechless. It is by no means a bad fake, but the kid made one mistake when he ordered it. I motion over the bar manager, because I am utterly speechless. I hand him the fake.)

    Manager: *laughing* “Kid, your fake says you are 19!”

    (Everyone in line begins laughing, and the kid takes off. I notice at least three other people in line check the date on their licenses.)

    Short Changed In The Intelligence Department

    | Netherlands |

    Me: “That’ll be 21 euros, please.”

    (The customer hands me a 50 euro bill.)

    Me: “Would you have a 1 euro coin with that?”

    Customer: “No, only 2 euros.”

    Me: “Yes, please. That’ll be fine too.”

    (The customer hands me two one euro coins.)

    Vitamin R U O K

    | Los Angeles, CA, USA |

    Me: “Good afternoon, thank you for calling [vitamin company]. This is [MyName]. How may I direct your call?” *long pause* “Hello?” *another long pause* “Hello?”

    Caller: “Hi, I got your number from a natural cure. ”

    Me: “How may I direct your call, sir?”

    Caller: “I was reading a book.”

    Me: “Okay.”

    Caller: “It had your number. Are you a vitamin store? With…vitamins and things?”

    Me: “We are a vitamin manufacturer, sir. Do you have a question about a product?”

    Caller: “I got your number from a natural cure book. Have you read it?”

    Me: “What book, sir?”

    Caller: “A natural cures book.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, I have not. Did you have a question about a product that we manufacture?”

    Caller: “Yeah, I got your number out of a natural cures book.”

    Me: “Yes, there are a number of books that mention our products.”

    Caller: *pauses* “…It was a BOOK.”

    Me: “Yes, sir, I’m just trying to determine who can best assist you.”

    Caller: *pauses again* “BOOOOOOOOOOOOK…”

    Me: “Let me connect you with customer service, sir…”

    Credit X-Rating

    | North Carolina, USA |

    Me: “Hello and thank you for calling [company]. How can I help you?”

    Customer: “I need a loan. What do I need to do?”

    (I take her information over the phone and tell her I would give her a call back after I review it with any questions that I had. The customer calls back 10 minutes later.)

    Me: “I’m sorry Ms. ***. I have not been able to completely finish, but so far it looks like we would not be able to proceed with the loan.”

    Customer: “Why the h*** not?”

    Me: “From what it looks like, there are quite a few collections from [adult subscriptions] and [porn site subscriptions] that are dropping your score.”

    Customer: “That cannot be! I would know if I had wanted things like that!”

    Me: “From your application, I notice that you also have a teenage son that lives with you.”

    Customer: “D***! I knew that it was too good of him to get the mail for me!” *click*

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