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    Digging Your Way Out Of A Hole, Part 4

    | Princeton, NJ, USA |

    (As I’m ringing this woman’s vitamins up, I notice that she’s staring at my stomach. I pause and look up at her.)

    Customer: “When’s the baby coming?”

    Me: “What baby?”

    Customer: “Are you expecting?”

    Me: “Um, no. I’m not pregnant.”

    Customer: “Oh, I’m so sorry! I just asked because I used to be chubby like you when I was your age.”

    Me: “Um… what?”

    Customer: “Well, I was gonna say, you’re too young to be pregnant!”

    Me: “I think you’d better quit while you’re ahead.”

    Related:
    Digging Your Way Out Of A Hole, Part 3
    Digging Your Way Out Of A Hole, Part 2
    Digging Your Way Out Of A Hole

    Jesus, The Only MasterCard You’ll Ever Need

    | Florida, USA | Top

    Me: “Thanks for calling Credit Card Services, how may I help you today?”

    Card member: “Yeah, I was just looking over my statement and see I was charged a late fee. Why?”

    Me: “Well, when we receive a payment past the due date, a late fee is normally assessed to the account. Do you have any idea why we received the payment late?”

    Card member: “I was on vacation and didn’t send it in until the 12th.”

    Me: “Well, the payment was¬†due on the 8th and there is usually at least seven days between customers sending in their payment until we can receive and process them.”

    Card member: “Well, can you waive that fee for me?”

    Me: ¬†”Unfortunately, since the fee was billed appropriately, there isn’t any way that it can be removed.”

    Card member: “Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior?”

    Me: “How is that in any way relevant to this conversation?”

    Card member: “Jesus would waive my fee!”

    Me: “Jesus wouldn’t own a bank.”

    Personally, I Prefer Pokey ‘Pods

    , | Sacramento, CA, USA |

    (Working in a popular electronics store set in between an extremely rural area and a sprawling urban landscape, we get all types…)

    Customer:“Y’all got dem thirty two jiggabit touchee pods?”

    Grand Opening: Not Always Right Store

    | Tshirts, buttons and stickers |

    Announcing the official Not Always Right store

    We interrupt your daily reading for a special announcement: The official Not Always Right store is now open and stocked with funny tees, stickers, buttons and other goodies! The store helps pay for hosting costs, plus it’s a great way to get the word out about your favorite blog (*cough* this one).

    PS: Free Shipping until 7/20 with orders $65 and over, code: FREESUMMER.

    Singleminded Surcharge

    | Madison, WI, USA |

    (I work in an electrical department. At this time, a woman is looking at a light display.)

    Me: “Are you finding everything alright?”

    Customer: “Yes. Where is this?”

    (I lead her to the box, on an end cap. It’s a two-fixtures-for-the-price-of-one thing.)

    Customer: “Oh, there’s two in there…”

    Me: “Yes. But the price is the same as on the display, so you get an extra for spare parts or whatever.”

    Customer: “Well, I only want one!”

    Me: “You can always just sell the spare on a garage sale or something. Or if you’re like me, you might break the glass someday and so you’ll have a spare.”

    Customer: “I only want one!”

    Me: “…”

    (The customer proceeded to pick out a nearly-identical looking fixture that was about three times the price–all because she only wanted one.)

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