No Date Like The Present

Montana, USA | Uncategorized

(Customers use our computers to file for unemployment.)

Customer: “We need some help over here.”

Me: “Okay, let me see what the problem is.”

(The customer has been trying to enter in previous dates of employment. There is an error due to the start date being entered as ‘04-31-2008’.)

Me: “I don’t think there is an April 31st.”

Customer: “Well, how were we supposed to know that?!”

Fish Trek 2: It All Goes Downstream From Here

| Colorado, USA | Colorado, USA | Top

Customer: “This book looks interesting. How do I watch it?”

Me: “Watch it?”

Customer: “Yes, where can I find the movie?”

Me: “I don’t think this book has been adapted into a movie.”

Customer: “What do you mean? Where can I go to watch it? I want to know what happens in the book!”

Me: “Forgive me for asking, but if you want to know what happens, why not just read it?”

Customer: “Read? How stupid! Where’s the movie! All books are made into movies so that we don’t have to read them!”

Me: “I am sorry, I can’t help you. This is a bookstore. Only popular books–usually adventure stories–are adapted into movies. I am quite sure that this book hasn’t been made into a movie.”

Customer: “Why not?!”

Me: “Because it’s a fishing manual.”

We Should Put A Cheesy Title Here But Then We’d Just Get Burned

| Columbia, SC, USA | Uncategorized

(A customer orders nachos and comes back 20 minutes later.)

Customer: “Excuse me.”

Me: “Can I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah I just ordered these nachos and the cheese ain’t hot!”

Me: “I’m sorry ma’am. The dispenser is supposed to keep the cheese hot.”

Customer: “Well you see this?” *sticks finger in the cheese* “I should be burning myself right now!”

No Longer An Eye For An Eye

| Washington DC, USA | Uncategorized

(I have just found a spare eyeglass case for one of our doctors.)

Doctor: “Thanks, what do I owe you?”

Me: “Eh, don’t worry about it. We usually charge, but I’ve got you covered my friend.”

Doctor: “Oh! I guess next time you need a prostate exam I’ll try and hook you up.”

Me: “Uh, thanks?”

Go Flush

| Connecticut, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Hello! What can I do for you?”

Customer: “I need some more goldfish. I keep losing them.”

Me: “You lose them? How do you lose your goldfish?”

Customer: “They keep escaping when I clean the tank.”

Me: “I’m afraid I don’t understand. How do they escape?”

Customer: “Well, when I clean the tank I put ‘em in the toilet. When I come back, one of them’s always swum down the hole!”

Me: “I’m going to need to go over a few things with you before I sell you the fish.”

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