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  • Not To La-Boar The Point, Part 2

    | Swansea, MA | Uncategorized

    Me: “Alright, is that everything, ma’am?”

    Customer: “I have a question.”

    (The customer holds up two packages of sliced ham.)

    Customer: “Does this have any pork in it?”

    Me: “Um, well, yes. Ham is a pork product.”

    Customer: “Both of them?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Customer: “Okay, then I’m not getting them. I thought maybe you had the kind of ham that had turkey in it.”

    Related:
    Not To La-Boar The Point

    Byte-Size Counts

    | Zagreb, Croatia | Uncategorized

    Customer: “So, I have two hosting packages from you?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Customer: “Are these packages 500 megabytes each?”

    Me: “That’s right!”

    Customer: “So, that’s like 1,000 megabytes?”

    Me: “Yes, they are.”

    Customer: “Is that like a gigabyte?”

    Me: “Well, yeah, I guess. Almost.”

    *short silence*

    Customer: “D***, am I big!”

    Modern Parks Just Aren’t Cutting It

    | Tennessee, USA | Uncategorized

    (An angry-looking man storms up to me with his camera still around his neck.)

    Customer: “I’d like to file a complaint!”

    Me: “Sorry to hear that sir. What’s the problem?”

    Customer: “Why don’t you call some of your maintenance men to get out in the park and mow the grass?”

    Me: (Assuming he means a lawn area, as this is a national park.) “Where did you mean, sir?”

    (The customer names one of the park’s prime visitation spot, which is famous for its inner fields.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but the grass is kept long to provide habitats and protection for the animals in the park.”

    Customer:”Why the h*** would you do that? Don’t hide them! I paid money to come take pictures of them! The animals are here for me to take pictures of!”

    Wild Accusations

    | Asheville, NC, USA | Uncategorized

    Customer: “I keep seeing a charge for $9.99 on my account. Why do you people keep charging me $9.99?”

    Me: “Sir, that charge is coming not from us, but from GGW.”

    Customer: “What the h*** is GGW? People are stealing my money and you do nothing! So what the h*** is GGW?”

    (I have seen the charge for GGW before. I usually just use the abbreviation to spare the customer.))

    Me: “Sir, GGW stands for Girls Gone–”

    Customer: “Oh yeah. Never mind I remember now…uh…bye.” *click*

    Pajama Drama

    | Ontario, Canada | Uncategorized

    (I am a customer at a 24-hour store at about 3am. I noticed that the store uses the same system at my own store. Since the cashier is new to his job, I am teaching him how to put in coupons when another customer comes up.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, do you work here?”

    Cashier: “Yes? Did you need something?”

    Customer: “No, her.” *points to me*

    Me: “No.”

    Customer: “You’re using the till!”

    Me: “I work at a different grocery store. I’m just helping him out.”

    Customer: “I can’t believe they let you work here in pajamas!”

    Me: “I’m not working right now.”

    Customer: “Where is your manager?”

    Cashier: “He’s asleep.”

    Customer: “So what you guys do is wear pajamas and take naps when there are no customers?”

    Me: “Well, of course.”

    Customer: “Oh. Okay!”

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