Intelligence Levels Are Falling

| Adirondacks, New York, USA | Math & Science, Uncategorized

(It is the peak of foliage in the fall. We’ve just had a few massive rain storms and lost a lot of the leaves that had already changed.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [lodge], how can I help you?”

Customer: “We wanted to come up and stay to check out the foliage. About how far would you say you are from peak?”

Me: “Well, we were probably about a week away, but after recent storms we lost a lot of the leaves.”

Customer: “About how many would you say you lost?”

Me:”Um, I would say maybe half?”

Customer: “Do you think you’ll be getting any more?”

When The Boob Tube Just Won’t Do

| California, USA | Rude & Risque, Uncategorized

(I work at an office that has various different offices and 2 small studios for some of the graphic designers, movie editors, and musicians that work with us. I work as one of the tech support guys and am fixing the computer at the reception desk when a teenager walks in.)

Customer: “Hey, do you work here?”

Me: “Yeah, can I help you?”

Customer: “So what do you guys do here?”

Me: “Well everyone here does something different, I happen to be tech support.”

Customer: “Cool, do they make movies here?”

Me: “I’m not sure, they might.”

Customer: “Right on, do you know what kind?”

Me: “Well they have a green screen so I’m not sure.”

Customer: “Do you know if they make any adult movies here?”

Me: “Like I said I’m not sure, I’m not sure what they do in the studios.”

Customer: “Can I take a tour?”

Me: “Look, I’m the tech support guy, I’m not authorized to give
you a tour.”

Customer: “Come on, I’ll give you $5!”

Me: “I’m not going to risk my job over $5.”

Customer: “I swear, people like you make it hard for people like me to see boobies!”

Sadly Wasn’t Born Yesterday

| Ohio, USA | Extra Stupid, Uncategorized

(Note: this customer has heard that a girl is celebrating her birthday on Friday the 13th.)

Customer: “I hope my birthday never falls on Friday the 13th!”

Me: “When’s your birthday?”

Customer: “May 20th!”

Anatomically Correct Vs Politically Incorrect

| Washington, USA | Bizarre, Uncategorized

(I’m in the restroom while on duty in uniform. I walk in the door.)

Customer: *startled* "Oh!"

Me: "Sorry, excuse me."

Customer: "You people use the bathroom too?"

Me: "Yes, we only have the one, so everyone uses the same one.”

Customer: "I guess I never thought of you as real people.”

About To Get A Fist For A Dollar

| Fort Knox, KY, USA | At The Checkout, Money, Top

Me: “Your total comes to $2.15.”

Child Customer: “Okay.”

(He slides his card, touches the key pad and reaches for his things.)

Me: “Hun, you paid through gift card and there wasn’t enough to cover it all. You’re short 46 cents.”

Child Customer: “Oh, um…can you just remove something?”

Me: “I can’t cancel a transaction in the middle of it.”

Child Customer: “Well, I don’t want the drink no more.”

Me: “Look, I’ll cover the rest but next time just make sure you know how much is on your card or ask us to check before hand.”

(I go through my pocket and pull out a dollar to cover the change after not being able to find enough change to cover the rest. I finish cashing it out and notice the kid’s still there, hand held out and ready to receive change back.)

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