November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

You Got The Wrong(est) Item, Part 2

| South Wales, UK | Uncategorized

Me: “How can I help you?”

Customer: “Hi, I’m after some Durex.”

Me: “Durex? I’m sorry we don’t sell Durex.”

Customer: “Not even for toys?”

Me: “For toys?”

Customer: “Duracell! Duracell batteries!”

You Got The Wrong(est) Number, Part 3
You Got The Wrong(est) Item
You Got The Wrong(est) Number, Part 2
You Got The Wrong(est) Number

Upside (Down) Your (Empty) Head

| Commack, NY, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Here are your 2 triple venti whole milk upside down caramel macchiatos, both with extra caramel. Have a great day!”

Customer: “Oh no, those aren’t mine! They’re hot.”

Me: “Didn’t you order the 2 triple venti whole milk upside
down caramel macchiatos with extra caramel?”

Customer: “Yeah exactly, upside down. That’s cold. I want them cold. Like with ice. I said upside down, that’s what it means.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, upside down doesn’t mean iced. Iced means iced.”

Customer: “Really? So can you make them again with upside down ice?”

Ghost Ship

| USA | Uncategorized

(Sadly, my the sailing instructor died 4 days ago.)

Caller: “Hi, I’m calling about the sailing lessons.”

Me: “I’m terribly sorry, but I can’t help you with that.”

Caller: “Oh, please, I really want sailing lessons, I saw them on the website with [sailing instructor] and I want to learn how to sail!”

Me: “I’m sorry but [sailing instructor] just died.”

Caller: “Oh, so he won’t be doing any more sailing lessons, then?”

A Gold Medal For Meddling With Time

| Vancouver, Canada | Uncategorized

(I work for a network that is hosting the 2010 Olympic games. The network is selling a DVD pack of Olympic highlights that people can order now, and will be sent to them when the Olympics have finished.)

Me: “Hello and thanks for calling. How may I help you?”

Caller: “Hi, I saw the ad on TV about the Olympic DVD pack you’re selling, and I’d like to order one. I was wondering if I could get them shipped to me by Friday. My son’s birthday is on Saturday.”

Me: “Sir, the Olympics don’t end until Sunday.”

Caller: “So, what’s the problem?”

Me: “You’re asking to have them shipped to you two days before the Olympics end. And even after the Olympics are over, I’m sure it’s going to take some time to get all of the packages made and shipped.”

Caller: “So you can’t have them here by Friday?”

Me: “Sir, there is no way to get them to you by Friday because the Olympics don’t end until Sunday.”

Caller: “That’s ridiculous! Now what are we supposed to get Johnny? Isn’t there any way they can get all the Olympics done before Friday?”

Perhaps It’s Because You Drive A Hummmvee

| New York, USA | Uncategorized

(I have a sticker on my car that reads “Caution: Driver Singing”. I pulled up into work when a customer tapped me on the shoulder.)

Customer: “Hey.”

Me: “Um, hi?”

Customer: “I thought so! You’re that girl with the singing bumper sticker, aren’t you?”

Me: “Oh! Yes, I am.”

Customer: “I passed you in the parking lot at yesterday. You weren’t singing.”

Me: “Oh, well, I’ve had a sore throat.”

Customer: *completely serious* “You should always be singing, you know.”

Me: “Um…”

Customer: “In a car like that, you should always be singing so your sticker doesn’t lie!”

Me: “Well, the other day when you passed me? I was humming.”

Customer: *perfectly happy again* “Oh, really? Well, that’s alright then!”