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    Pain In The Derrière

    | Ontario, Canada | Uncategorized

    (A customer comes up to me holding a package of Naan bread.)

    Customer: What kind of bread is this?”

    Me: “That’s just plain white naan.”

    Customer: “They forgot the ‘L’.” *points to the words ‘Naan Pain’ on the front of the package*

    Me: “Oh, that’s French for ‘bread’.”

    Customer: “So the flavor isn’t pain?”

    Me: “No, sir, pain isn’t a flavor.”

    Not Thinking Inside The Box

    | Nashville, TN, USA | Uncategorized

    (This takes place when people still primarily use VCRs. A customer comes in, rents three tapes, and leaves. He comes back in the store, very upset.)

    Customer: “You rented me the wrong size tapes!” *slams three video boxes onto the counter*

    Me: “Sir, we only carry VHS tapes. Did you get a BetaMax?”

    Customer: “I know what a VHS is! But, these don’t fit!”

    Me: “Okay, let me check them.”

    Customer: “Go ahead, try to put them in your machine!”

    (I take the first box, open it, and begin to insert it into the front of the VCR.)

    Customer: “Oh, you mean you have to take them out of the box first?”

    Related:
    Thinking Outside The Box
    Not Thinking Outside The Box, Part 3
    Not Thinking Outside The Box, Part 2
    Not Thinking Outside The Box

    Drawing A Blanc

    | Georgia, USA | Uncategorized

    Customer: “I need to return this paint.  It’s the wrong color.”

    Me: “What color did you need?”

    Customer: “I needed white. This is blanco.”

    Me: “Sir, this is a gallon of white paint. ‘Blanco’ is white in Spanish.”

    Customer: “I don’t need Spanish white.”

    Busted As Charged

    | Madison, WI, USA | Uncategorized

    Caller: “I have an unauthorized charge on my account!”

    Me: “Which charge is it?”

    Caller: “The one from [restaurant known for waitresses with ample sized busts]. That was a Sunday…I would never go there on a Sunday! Someone must have stolen my card. This is so insulting, to have this charge on there. I need you to remove it immediately!”

    Me: “Sir, the date on your account summary is the date the charge cleared your account. The actual date of the transaction at the establishment was two days before, on Friday.”

    Caller: “Oh…then that was me.”

    The Only Thing It Swallowed Was Her Pride

    | St. Augustine, FL, USA | Uncategorized

    Customer: “Oh miss, I have a problem.”

    Me: “What can I help you with?”

    Customer: “The ATM took my card. It says here though that its invalid, and my card is out of date, so maybe that’s why.”

    (I get the keys to the ATM and open it up.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, but your card is not in there. Are you sure it took it?”

    Customer: “No, it did, it did! *pulls out an ATM card* “It looks like this! Oh wait…this is my card. Never mind.”

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