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    The Joy Of Sex(ism), Part 3

    | Jackson, MS, USA | Top

    (I’m a male to female transsexual working in a call center. My name is an androgynous name, so I still use the male name when greeting customers for legal reasons.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling tech support, K***y speaking. How can I help you today?”

    Sexist Caller: “You can’t help me. Get me someone who can.”

    Me: “I’m sure I can assist you sir, what is the problem today?”

    Sexist Caller: “I ain’t talking to you!”

    Me: “What’s the problem?”

    Sexist Caller: “I ain’t talking to no girl.”

    (This caused me to both be glad that my voice passes for female on the phone, but really pissed me off cause of how horrible it was…but I would have my revenge…)

    Me: “I’m terribly sorry to hear that sir, are you sure?”

    Sexist Caller: “Get me a man, God d**n it!*

    Me: “Okay sir, let me see what I can do. Please hold.”

    (I proceed to put him on hold. I then spend the next few minutes eating a snack, reading some web comics, etc. I then clear my throat, and hit the button to take him off hold.)

    Me: *with my old male voice this time* “Thank you for calling technical support, this is K***y speaking, how can I help you?”

    Sexist Caller: “Oh thank god, I though I was gonna be stuck with that b**ch.”

    Me: “Understandable sir, she’s not that good a technician.”

    Sexist Caller: “You guys got the same name, you related or something?”

    Me: “No way, thank God… ”

    (I proceeded to reinstall his operating system from where he had totally screwed it up. I got written up for this, all while the manager was laughing and apologizing that he had to do it.)

    Related:
    The Joy Of Sex(ism), Part 2
    The Joy Of Sex(ism)

    Send In The Clowns, Part 2

    | Wisconsin, USA |

    Me: “Hi! I’m calling today looking for sponsorships for less fortunate children to attend the annual circus.”

    Her: “Oh, that sounds wonderful.”

    Me: “Would you like to sponsor a child this year?”

    Her: “Will there be clowns?”

    Me: “Yes, I believe there will be a few clowns.”

    Her: “What kind?”

    Me: “I’m… sorry?”

    Her: “Are they the good ones?”

    Me: “They are professionals, so I believe they will be quite good.”

    Her: “Do children like them?”

    Me: “Yes…”

    Her: *in a hushed voice* “I carry a picture of that scary clown in my pocket. I don’t like scary clowns.”

    Me: “Scary clown?”

    Her: “… from the movie. I bought it so I could have a picture of the scary clown. I have nightmares about it.”

    Me: “Ummm… that’s horrible. I’m sorry for bringing up such an awful memory. I will just let you go then.”

    Her: “No, I want to help. Kids like that kind of thing. What do I have to do?”

    Me: “Well, we will send you a sponsorship packet in the mail. It will have an invoice. You just have to send in payment.”

    Her: “Will there be clowns?”

    Me: “At the circus?”

    Her: “No, I mean will you make sure that they don’t send any clowns in that paper?”

    Me: “Yes, I will make sure that you do not get sent any clowns…”

    (Ironically, I found out after hanging up that the sponsorship packet has a large picture of a clown on the envelope.)

    Related:
    Send In The Clowns

    5 Minutes And 9 Months

    | St. Louis, MO, USA |

    (The couple walked up to my line and the guy put his stuff on the belt first. Then, the girl put up a divider and her stuff.)

    Guy: “Sweetie, let me pay for your stuff.”

    Girl: “FINE!” *storms off*

    Me: *thinking to self* “What the #@&% is going on?”

    (I look at what she is purchasing and realize that the only thing she’s buying is a home pregnancy test.)

    My Husband, The Mind Reader

    , | Savoy, IL, USA | Top

    (I am almost done making a customer’s sandwich and I ask if she would like anything else on it…)

    Lady: “Yeah, just put whatever else you normally put on it.”

    Me: “Well, I can put on whatever you want me to put on. We don’t have anything that we put on every sandwich. In fact, most are rarely ever the same.”

    Lady: “Look, you don’t have to get smart! Just put whatever else you put on it.”

    Me: “Well, what do you want on it?”

    Lady: “That stuff that you always put on these!”

    Me: “If you just say what it is you want, I will put it on for you.”

    Lady: “That stuff you always put on it!”

    (The lady’s husband walks over.)

    Lady’s husband: “She wants pepper.”

    Oh Where, Oh Where Have My Role Models Gone

    | Parkersburg, WV, USA |

    Me: “How can I help you, ma’am?”

    Lady: “Yes, my daughter saw an ad for slip-n-slides in your store. I thought if you did have them, they’d be up here.”

    Me: “Um, no, we don’t have them.”

    Lady: “Ha! I knew it!”

    Me: “Yeah, we don’t have them here. Just small appliances up here.”

    Lady: “Yeah, my daughter is 12 years old, and she’s wrong. I can’t wait to tell her.”

    Me: “Heh… yeah.”

    Lady: “I can’t wait to rub it in her face. Mom’s right, and she’s wrong, FOR ONCE!”

    Me: *facepalm*

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