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  • Bigotry Is Not On The Menu
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  • A Father’s Love Is Very Console-ing

    | Scotland, UK | Uncategorized

    Customer: “Excuse me, could you give me some advice please?”

    Me: “Sure, how can I help?”

    Customer: “I was looking to buy a Nintendo 360 for my son.”

    Customer’s Son: “Dad! It’s an Xbox360!”

    Customer, to me: “This is how much help I need. Would you please?”

    Not Caught Up In The Web

    | Tucson, AZ, USA | Uncategorized

    Me: “Thank you for calling. This is [name]. How can I help you?”

    Customer: “My mother’s computer won’t connect to the internet.”

    Me: “Alright, Let’s see if we can figure out the issue.”

    (I spend five minutes troubleshooting the connection, and still can’t get it connected.)

    Me: “I can’t find anything wrong with your computer. Is it a desktop or a laptop?”

    Customer: “I don’t know. She’s in Florida, so I’ll have to call and ask her.”

    Me: “Okay, do you happen to know her internet service provider?”

    Customer: “Yes, it’s you guys.”

    Me: “Sir, we’re a repair center. Are you sure she has internet?”

    Customer: “Doesn’t it come free with the computer?”

    Me: “No, They stopped doing that a while ago.”

    Customer: “Figures. I’ll tell her!”

    Last Of The NonFictions

    | Edmonton, AB, USA | Uncategorized

    (I am a customer and I have been looking all over for a certain book. I see someone reading it.)

    Me: “Excuse me, but could you show me where you found that?”

    Girl: “Yeah, just follow me!”

    (She leads me to a shelf of books.)

    Girl: “I found it right there!”

    Me: “I don’t see it.”

    Girl: “Oh, that’s because I took the last one!”

    Safe To Assume There Are No Insecurities Here

    | Los Angeles, CA, USA | Uncategorized

    (After taking the customers name, phone number, credit card info.)

    Me: “To finish creating your account, I need an answer to a reminder question. In what city were you born?”

    Customer: “That is way too personal.”

    Me: “Okay. We have a few other questions. What is your pet’s name? What is your favorite television show? What is your favorite pastime?”

    Customer: “Ask me my favorite pasttime.”

    Me: “What is your favorite pastime?”

    Customer: “Making loooooooove.”

    Not About To Start A Revolution

    | Barrie, ON, Canada | Uncategorized

    (A young female customer is paying for a work order. Her friends are nearby.)

    Me: “The tech also recommends a tire rotation.”

    Customer: “Oh okay…is that something I could get a friend to do?”

    Me: “If they’ve got a jack and the lug nut key, sure.”

    (Her friends come over.)

    Customer: *to another young female friend* “I have to rotate my tires.”

    Customer’s friend: “I thought they did that when you drive?”

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