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    From The Mouth Of Babes, Part 2

    | Washington, USA | Family & Kids, Uncategorized

    Me: “Can I help you?”

    Child: “I don’t get it.”

    Me: “What?”

    Child: “Are you old or just simple?”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Child: “Cause my mom said everyone who works at [supermarket] is either old or simple.”

    (The mother comes running behind him, picks him up, and runs off.)

    Related:
    From The Mouth Of Babes

    At Lagerheads

    | Mississippi, USA | Crazy Requests, Uncategorized

    (A drunk guest comes down and wants their car but we refuse to give it to him because he is intoxicated. We call him a cab and ask if he needs his house key off his key ring.)

    Customer: “Oh, yeah. I might need that.”

    Me: “Okay, which one is it?”

    Customer: “It’s that black one right there.”

    Me: “Sir, that’s your car key. Which one is your house key?”

    Customer: “No, really. It’s that black one.”

    Me: “No…that’s your car key.”

    Customer: “You don’t understand, I made it universal. It opens everything in my house.”

    Me: “Okay, I’m just going to give you everything but the car key. Have a nice night, sir.”

    A Bit Grey With Anatomy

    | United Kingdom | Extra Stupid, Uncategorized

    (We sometimes lose shoes and are stuck with one which we can’t sell. When this happens and it is a man’s shoe for the right foot, we sell them very cheaply to a war veteran who only has one leg. On this day, the veteran has just paid for one. There is a man behind him in the queue.)

    Customer: “Why does he get those shoes so cheaply?”

    Me: “Because he is only buying the right shoe, not a pair.”

    Customer: “Why would he want just one?”

    Me: “Because he only has one leg. He lost the other in combat.”

    Customer: “Yeah, but even if he lost one leg, he’s still got two feet, right?”

    Doesn’t Un-Dough-Stand What Pizza Is

    | Wyoming, USA | Food & Drink, Uncategorized

    Me: “Thanks for calling [Pizza Place]. Is this for carry out or delivery?”

    Caller: “Yeah, uh, I need to order a small pizza for carry out.”

    Me: “Sure, what would you like on it?”

    Caller: “No cheese, ’cause I don’t like cheese.”

    Me: “No problem.”

    Caller: “And no sauce, I hate sauce.”

    Me: “Okay. What toppings would you like?”

    Caller: “Oh, just plain.”

    Me: “Plain?”

    Caller: “Yeah, no toppings.”

    Me: “So, you want a small pizza with NO cheese, NO sauce, and NO toppings?”

    Caller: “Yeah. Do you, like, have a special name for that?”

    Me: “Bread.”

    A Complete Ba-SKET Case

    | Orlando, FL USA | Food & Drink, Funny Names, Uncategorized

    (At our store, we have a dish called the Bruschetta (bru-SHET-ta) Chicken Pasta. I am delivering a party their food.)

    Me: “So that leaves the Bruschetta Chicken Pasta. Here you go.”

    Customer: “I didn’t order no bru-SHET-ta! I ordered a bra-SKET-ta pasta!”

    (I turn around and put the item back on the tray, pause, then pick the same bowl up again.)

    Me: “Bra-sket-ta chicken pasta. Here you go.”

    Customer: “Thank you!”

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