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  • A Caffeinated Christmas Miracle
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  • So Much For A Discount

    | Boston, MA, USA |

    Me: “Hi, is there anything I can help you find today?”

    Male Customer: “Well, yeah, I’m trying to get something for my wife. It’s her birthday.”

    (He finally decides on a sweater.)

    Me: “Okay, now what size would you say your wife is?”

    Male Customer: “Um, well, she’s kind of small… maybe about your size. What size are you?”

    Me: “Well, I’m a small, so if she’s a similar height and build–”

    Male Customer: “She’s about the same size, I guess… except thinner and with bigger boobs.”

    Me: “…”

    A Nation Of Size Queens, Part 2

    | Prince Edward Island, Canada |

    Me: “Good evening! You have reached [campground name], how can I help?”

    Customer: “Excuse me miss, but will I need my parka? I hear it’s only 28 degrees up there today.”

    Me: “I wouldn’t imagine so. It’s hot and sunny outside. Everyone here is wearing shorts and t-shirts.”

    Customer: “Are you crazy?! It’s 28 degrees!”

    Me: “Sir, that’s in degrees Celsius.”

    Customer: ¬†”What do you mean Celsius? Is that like the number on the thermometer? Are your thermometers smaller in Canada? Is that why it’s 28?”

    Me: *gives up* “Yes, have a great night.”

    Related:
    A Nation Of Size Queens

    Customer Of The Week: Just Look At Bambie…

    | Vancouver, BC, Canada | Old Comics

    Customer Of The Week: Just Look At Bambie...
    Created by our friends at Quitting Time

    Parental Guidunce

    Make That A Triple Non-Fat Sexy Latte

    | Vancouver, BC, Canada |

    (A woman walks into the coffee shop and orders a latte with “sexy” foam. I make what I thought was a latte with really “sexy” foam.)

    Customer: “F***! This isn’t right.¬†I want it with really sexy foam.”

    Me: “Okay…”

    (I make her another, with lots of really thick foam.)

    Customer: “No, no! Sexy foam, really sexy foam!”

    Me: “Okay, so less?”

    Customer: “No, you know… sexy! Sexy foam!”

    (I make her a third drink. This time less foam and more milk.)

    Customer: “You don’t get it! I want sexy foam. Really sexy foam!”

    Me: *giving up* “I DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT!”

    If That Doesn’t Work, Try Hogwarts

    , | Manchester, UK |

    Customer: “Oi you! I need a coat and it’s not here!”

    Me: “Certainly miss, do you have the catalogue number?”

    Customer: “No! I’ve told you it’s not here!”

    Me: “Okay, describe it.”

    Customer: “I want one that will keep me dry and warm in winter, but cool in summer.”

    Me: “Sorry, we don’t stock magic coats.”

    Customer: “Well, where could I f***ing find one like it?!”

    Me: “… Narnia?”

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