Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • God Loves Little Girls Who Stand Up For Others
    (2,717 thumbs up)
  • October Theme Of The Month: Coupon Complications!
    Submit your story today!

    He Just Talks Really Loudly

    , | Sydney, Australia |

    (A guy comes into our store and slaps a 56k dial-up modem down on the counter.)

    Guy: “I want to return this. I bought it a year ago and it’s broken.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but you don’t have the box, the power supply, the driver CD or the receipt. I can’t let you return it.”

    Guy: “You will give me my money back, right now!”

    Me: “No, I can’t do that. You need to keep the receipt for warranty claims. I have no proof you even bought that from us.”

    (The conversation escalates and gets more and more heated until finally…)

    Guy: “If you don’t give me back my money, I’ll be waiting for you in the car park after work and I’ll f*** you up, you hear me?! I’LL BREAK YOUR F***ING FACE YOU LITTLE S***!”

    Me: “Are you threatening me?”

    Guy: “No!”

    Photoshop Will Solve Everything

    | Tacoma, WA, USA |

    (As a graphic designer with a background in photography, I coordinate the shoots for cover homes.)

    Me: “Just send me the address of the home and I will look it up and work with the photographer on the shoot.”

    Salesperson: “It’s a million dollar home. Very, very nice. The listing agent wants to be there; he want’s a nice sunny shot. It’s a million dollar home and I really want to make him happy.”

    Me: “That’s great… just send me the address.”

    (I find that the house faces north-northeast, which means the sun will never hit the front of the house directly.)

    Me: “Okay, we’ve got a problem. I know the listing agent wants to be at the shoot and he wants a sunny shot, but we can’t do that because it faces north. We’re going to have to have to do a night shot or an early shot and hope the dawn light hits it.”

    Salesperson: “But it’s a million dollar home.”

    Me: “I know, it’s a really nice home. It’s vacant, so we can’t do an interior. I’ll talk to the photographer, but I’m sure he’ll agree that a night shot will be our best bet or the home will be backlit and not look good at all.”

    Salesperson: “This is a million dollar mansion!”

    Me: “I know. But unless you or the listing agent can move the sun, it will be at night or just after sunrise. I’m sure the he wants the mansion to look good.”

    (The salesperson calls my boss to undoubtedly tell her I am being impossible, and I shouldn’t dictate to our customers. Sadly, my boss couldn’t move the sun either, and a very lovely night shot ran on the cover.)

    Tellin’ It Like It Is

    | Bradenton, FL, USA | Top

    Me: “Hello! Welcome to [restaurant].”

    (I begin pouring water, as is customary at any restaurant.)

    Woman: “We didn’t ASK for water.”

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry ma’am. Should I bring you something else?”

    Woman: *sighs* “No! No! No! Fine! We’ll take the darn water.”

    (I proceed to bring her the food, and she complains incessantly about everything she can think of until finally her entree comes out.)

    Woman: “This isn’t what I ordered.”

    Me: “Ma’am, this is what you ordered. I can show you the bill… it’s clearly written that this is what you ordered.”

    Woman: “No it’s not! I DID NOT ORDER THIS!”

    Me: “You did now…”

    Woman, to husband: “Come on, let’s leave!”

    Husband: “Why? Because you’re being a pain?”

    Darwin Called, He Wants His Prehensile Thumb Back

    , | Phoenix, AZ, USA |

    Me: “Thank you for holding. I hear you need some help getting your car opened?”

    Caller: “Yeah, my battery went dead and so I can’t get my doors open!”

    Me: “Did you lock your keys in your car?”

    Caller: “No, it’s just that I have electronic locks, and the battery is dead so I can’t get the doors open!”

    Me: “Um, did you try to open the door manually?”

    Caller: “How do I do that? ”

    Me: “You stick your key into the door lock on the outside of the door. Turn it and it should unlock.”

    Caller: “OH! YOU CAN DO THAT?!”

    A Little Bit Too Honest There

    | Toronto, ON, Canada |

    (I used to work at a sporting goods store, when a young guy of about 12-14 years of age came in.)

    Customer: “Hi, can you tell me where I can find a jock, like for playing baseball?”

    Me: “Oh, you mean a protective cup? Sure, they’re right over here.”

    Customer: “Thanks. Oh, are there sizes?”

    Me: “Yeah, they’re–”

    Customer: *whispers* “I think I’m a small.”

    Me: “They’re according to waistband.”

    Customer: “Oh…”

    Me: “I’ll be over there if you need anything else.”

    Page 1,951/2,165First...1,9491,9501,9511,9521,953...Last