Don’t Count On Intelligence

| New Jersey, USA | At The Checkout, Top

Customer: “How much is this? I’m kind of bad at math.”

Me: “Sure. It come to $10.20.”

(The customer hands me a $10 bill.)

Customer: “Here you go.”

Me: “Alright, I need at least 20 more cents.”

Customer: “Oh…alright.”

(The customer puts down five pennies.)

Customer: “Is that enough?”

Me: “15 more cents.”

(The customer puts down a dime.)

Me: “Alright you have $10.15 now.”

(The customer puts down 5 more pennies, but takes away the $10 bill.)

Me: “Alright, you have the right amount of change. But I need that $10 bill.”

Customer: “But this is 20!”

Me: “20 cents. And your total is $10.20.”

Customer: “Oh, I get it.”

(The customer hands me a $1 bill.)

Me: “I’ll need that $10 bill you had before.”

(The customer gives me the $10 bill and begins to take away the 20 cents.)

Me: “Wait…actually no you’re good. That’s the right amount.”

Not Remotely Intelligent, Part 3

| USA | Technology, Uncategorized

(A customer calls in to get help setting up a video conferencing unit with a display on the remote that shows status of selection.)

Me: “So, are you pointing the remote at the unit?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “Where is the display on the remote? Is the top or bottom closest to you?

Customer: “The bottom is closest to me.”

Me: “Okay, turn the remote around so the LCD is towards the unit.”

Customer: “Okay.”

Me: “What do you see?”

Customer: “The back of the remote.”

Related:
Not Remotely Intelligent 2
Not Remotely Intelligent

Not In Full Receipt Of Your Faculties

| Downers Grove, IL, USA | Extra Stupid, Uncategorized

Caller: “Hi, I need a copy of my receipt for an order I had the other day.”

Me: “Okay, ma’am. I will need the date, your name, the company name, and if you have it, the amount.”

Caller: “Yes, my name is Diane, I’m calling from [Company] and it was for yesterday. The amount was $158.26. No, wait. It was $128.26. At least, that’s what it says on the receipt that I’m holding.”

Me: “So you have the receipt, then?”

Caller: *pause* “Yes! Thanks for your help!” *click*

Bulk Mail To The Future

| Scottsdale, AZ, USA | Math & Science, Technology, Uncategorized

Caller: “Hi, I called earlier and spoke with someone about getting a quote? She was supposed to email it to me, but I haven’t seen it yet.”

Me: “Not a problem, ma’am. How long ago was she supposed to have sent it?”

Caller: “Maybe ten minutes ago?”

Me: “Let me check with her. Did you check the spam folder, just in case?”

Caller: “I’ve never opened that folder. I really don’t think it would be there anyway.”

Me: “Well, sometimes business emails will automatically go to a spam folder based on their settings. You might want to check anyway.”

Caller: “That’s ridiculous! It wouldn’t be there. Those emails are from the future!”

Right-Click Wrong-Click

| Ireland | Technology, Uncategorized

(I’m twenty minutes into troubleshooting an internet connection.)

Me: “Okay, now right-click on that screen.”

Caller: “Right-click. It’s not working.”

Me: “Just make sure you’re right-clicking for a moment.”

Caller: “I will. Right-click, see nothing happens! Can’t you fix this already?”

(I realize that she is left-clicking on the page for nothing to be happening.)

Me: “Can you click the button on the right hand side for me?”

Caller: “You clearly don’t know what you’re doing because it’s not working!”

Me: “Do you know your left from your right?”

Caller: “Obviously!”

Me: “Look at your mouse.”

Caller: “I am looking at it.”

Me: “See the button on the left and the button on the right? Click the button on the right.”

Caller: “Oh it worked. I thought you meant your right!”

Page 1,950/2,622First...1,9481,9491,9501,9511,952...Last