October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!


| Litchfield, CT | Uncategorized

Me: “Hello, may I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, I was wondering if every creature you have a statue of is actually living?”

Me: “Yes sir, everything you see in here you can find somewhere in the wilderness.”

Customer: “Then why do you have a beaver?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “You heard me. If everything in here is actually a living creature then why do you have beavers?”

Me: “Well sir, beavers are living creatures. Haven’t you ever seen one in the pond down the road?”

Customer: “What? Beavers are real? My whole life I thought they were mythical creatures.”

(The customer walks away, looking lost and confused.)

Too Much Shinformation

| Winkler, MB, Canada | Uncategorized

Me: “Hi there sir, can I find you a size in those jeans?”

Customer: “Yeah, but I’m not sure what size I am.”

Me: “Oh, well–”

Customer: “Wait, I can check!”

(The customer undoes his pants and pulls them down to his knees.)

Customer: “Check! Find the tag! I don’t know where it is, find my size!”

On Shaky Ground With This One

| Los Angeles, CA, USA | Uncategorized

(This happened shortly after a large, widely reported earthquake in Hawaii.)

Me: “How can I be of assistance today?”

Customer: “Yes, I’m interested in traveling to the Big Island in Hawaii.”

Me: “Okay, and do you know which dates you want to travel on?”

Customer: “Oh. Um, well…when does earthquake season end?”

Famous Ignoramus

| Hobart, Australia | Top

Me: “Hello, sir, how may I help you?”

Customer: “Do you have those books in that series?”

Me: “Which series is that?”

Customer: “You know, the one by that famous author.”

Me: “There are lots of famous authors, sir. Do you know what one of the books was called?

Customer: “I want the third book in the series by that famous author!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but without more information, I don’t know which book you’re after.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous! How could you not know the ones I’m talking about? They’re FAMOUS!”

Gives New Meaning To ‘Manually Eject’

| Oregon, USA | Top

(An couple in their 50s enter the store with a laptop.)

Me: “Hi, what can I do for you?”

Husband: “Well, my laptop won’t turn on. It just goes to a black screen.”

Me: “Okay, sir, we can have the technicians do a diagnostic to figure out what the problem is.”

Husband: “I also think I might have left a disc in the DVD drive.”

Me: “Oh, no problem. I’ll show you how to manually eject the disc before you leave so you can take it home.”

(I grab a paperclip and manually eject the disc. The disc in the drive is a porn DVD. Immediately, the husband snatches it out of the tray and stuffs it into his pocket.)

Husband: *mumbles* “That’s not the disc I thought it was.”

Wife: *silently fuming*

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