Cooking In High Definition

| Adelaide, Australia | Uncategorized

Customer: “I will take one of these.” *points to a small white microwave oven*

Me: “Certainly, sir. Come right this way.”

(The customer goes to the checkout counter and pays for goods.)

Customer: “So, will I need an antenna for this?”

Hysterically Wrong

| Portland, OR, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “Please connect me to the Dental Clinic. I need a hysterectomy.”

Me: “Are you sure you want the Dental Clinic? They don’t do hysterectomies there.”

Customer: “Just connect me. I think I have that part of the body figured out by now.”

Too Lazy Even For The Devil’s Playthings

| Allentown, PA, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “How do I send a picture from my phone?”

Me:  “I can definitely help out. Is the picture in your inbox or in your images?”

Customer: “Images.”

Me: “Great. Highlight the image you want to send, press the Options key, and select Send as MMS.”

Customer: “Why the h*** do I have to do all the work?”

Extremely Dis-concert-ing

| Phoenix, AZ, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Thank you for calling [Library]. How my I be of assistance?”

Caller: “Yeah, my son said he wanted to check out some CDs. Do you guys have CDs?”

Me: “Of course. Can you tell me what type of CD he’s looking for?”

Caller: “What do you mean?”

Me: “I mean is he looking for audio books, computer games, music?”

Caller: “I don’t understand.”

Me: “I’m sorry, let me be more clear. Did he want–”

Caller: “No, I mean I don’t understand what you said before.”

Me: “I was just asking if you knew what type of CD he was looking for. Like audio books, or music, or–”

Caller: “Wait, what’s that?”

Me: “What’s what?”

Caller: “That thing you just said.”

Me: “What, music?”

Caller: “Yeah, what’s that?”

Some Customers You Just Have To Let Slide

| Wichita, KS, USA | Top

Me: “Good afternoon, this is [cellphone store]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “I came in to your store today and you sold me a defective phone!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. What is your full name and phone number so I can pull up your account?”

Customer: *gives information*

Me: “Okay, thanks. I see, you bought a [phone]. What seems to be the problem?

Customer: “The keyboard on this piece of s*** won’t come out!”

Me: “Have you tried sliding it the other way?”

*really long pause*

Customer: “Well thanks a lot, b****! Now you made me feel like a f***ing idiot!” *click*

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