Some Recipes Contain No Margarine For Error

| Melbourne, Australia | Extra Stupid, Uncategorized

Customer: “Hi, could you point me in the direction of the butter?”

Me: “Of course, its just over here.”

Customer: “Do you have these in liquid form? Like watery?”

Me: “I’m not sure what you mean, did you want cream?”

Customer: “No, no, like liquid butter?”

(At this point I look at the customers shopping list, its a recipe list for pancakes and it clearly says ‘melted butter’.)

Me: “You want to buy melted butter? You know you can just make that right?”

Customer: “Oh really? You actually make it yourself? How do you do that?”

Me: “You just put regular butter in a hot pan and it melts.”

Customer: “Wow! That’s fantastic! Thank you so much!”

No Paws For Thought

| Canada | Pets & Animals, Tourists/Travel, Uncategorized

Me: “Hello, [Public Transport], how can I help you?”

Caller: “Hi, do you allow cats on your buses?”

Me: “No, I’m sorry, but only service animals are allowed on the bus.”

Caller: “But she’s a very quiet cat! The airline let me take her!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but those are the rules. We can’t allow animals on board.”

(We go back and forth like this for a few minutes.)

Caller: *desperately* “What if I say she’s a seeing-eye cat? I could put a little collar on her saying she’s a seeing-eye cat.”

Me: “I don’t think that’s going to work.”

Caller: “What if I dress her like a dog?”

Me: “They’re not going to buy that.”

Caller: “Why not?!”

(The conversation continues in a similar fashion.)

Caller: “You’re not allowed to hang up on me, are you?”

Me: “No, ma’am.”

Caller: “I feel sorry for you.”

Time Waits For Slow Man

| Austin, TX, USA | At The Checkout, Uncategorized

(A customer walks right before closing at which point I ask him if there’s anything I can help him find. When he says there isn’t, I politely let him know the store will be closing at in about 8 minutes. After spending 25 minutes in a dressing room, he puts his clothes on the counter and starts to look at the watches.)

Customer: “I left my glasses at home. What’s this watch say on the face?”

Me: “It says we closed twenty minutes ago and I’m ready to leave.”

Customer: “Oh.”

Pray There’s No Back Door

| Chicago, IL, USA | Funny Names, Health & Body, Uncategorized

Customer: *referring to the recital hall* “Excuse me, can you direct me to your Rectal Hall?”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “The Rectal Hall. I need to get into your Rectal Hall. Where is your Rectal Hall?”

Me: “I sincerely doubt you want the answer to that question.”

An Open And Shut Case

| Los Angeles, CA, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology, Uncategorized

Me: “Hello, [Tech Support]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “I just got your wireless internet thingy, but I’m not sure I like it.”

Me: “What’s wrong with it?”

Caller: “Oh, nothing’s wrong with it. It’s much faster than my old internet; but do I always have to open my windows? I hate opening up the windows.”

Me: “What computer do you have?”

Caller: “I have a Mac.”

Me: “Then how do you–”

Caller: “Oh! No. Not that computer windows thing! I don’t have that! I mean my actual windows around my house!”

Me: “You’re… opening up you’re windows around your house?”

Caller: “Yes! And it’s really chilly today!”

Me: “Ma’am, I hate to interrupt, but why is this relevant to your internet problem?”

Caller: “Well, it’s wireless! It comes through the air, right? How else am I going to get it if the windows are closed?”

Page 1,945/2,740First...1,9431,9441,9451,9461,947...Last