• Understood The Concept Swimmingly
    (1,481 thumbs up)
  • November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

    There’s No Pills Like Home, Part 2

    | New Jersey, USA | Uncategorized

    (My phone number is 1 number off a nearby pharmacy. We get a lot of misdials. My father happens to actually be a pharmacist but he doesn’t work there.)

    Me: “Hello?”

    Caller: “Hello? You just say Hello? How dare you be so rude! You should say “thank you for calling”!”

    Me: “Oh, you must be looking for [pharmacy]. You have the wrong number.”

    Caller: “Liar! How would you know what store I’m looking for? You’re just trying not to get in trouble. Give me your manager.”

    Me: “Ma’am, I don’t have a manager. You’ve called a private residence. The number for the pharmacy is close to our number, so we get a lot of wrong calls.”

    Caller: “This is outrageous! Give me your manager! I will not be treated this way!”

    (At this point the caller was rambling and being rude so I hung up the phone. She called back, and my father answered it.)

    Father: “Hello?”

    Caller: “Is this the manager? Thank god! I want to know if [drug] can be taken with food! And you should fire that girl that answered before, she was very rude to me! I want to file a complaint!”

    Father: “Ma’am, this is not the grocery store pharmacy. You just told off my 14-year old daughter. I happen to be a pharmacist. That drug does not need to be taken with food. However, you should see a doctor about your ears, as you clearly can’t hear a word anyone says.”

    There’s No Pills Like Home

    A-B-C, Easy As D-U-H

    | Massachusetts, USA | Uncategorized

    Customer: “Hey, can you help me find this book?”

    Me: “Sure.”

    (He holds up a piece of paper with the title and author of a book on it. I find it on the shelves and hand it to him.)

    Customer: “Thanks! How’d you do that so fast?”

    Me: “Well, I’ve worked here awhile, and the books are all in alphabetical order by author’s name.”

    Customer: “What do you mean?”

    Me: “Alphabetical order. Like the alphabet song? You know, A’s before B’s?”

    (He looks confused, but then widens his eyes.)

    Customer: “The letters actually go in that order? I thought that song was just to remember them all!”

    Reaching New Heights Of Stupidity

    | Massachusetts, USA | Uncategorized

    (I am on the beginner chairlift with two of my adult students.)

    Customer: “So, when does the mountain close?”

    Me: “We stay open until there is no snow left. This year, the guess is late April.”

    Customer: “So, it’s open past daylight-savings time?”

    Me: “Yes, it is. How is daylight-savings time related to the mountain being open?”

    Customer: “Well, with that extra hour of sunlight, the snow must melt extra fast!”

    A Major Problem With A Minor Request

    | Brooklyn, NY, USA | Uncategorized

    Me: “Good afternoon, [bookstore]!”

    Caller: “Hi, I have to do a project where I read to kids and they respond. Do you have that?”

    Me: “You need a book to read to them? Sure! We have plenty of children’s books.”

    Caller: “No, I need to read to kids and have them respond.”

    Me: “Right, we have plenty of books you could chose from to read to them.”

    Caller: “No, I need to read to kids and have them respond.”

    Me: “So what exactly is it that you need from us?”

    Caller: “Can I do that there?”

    Me: “Well, we don’t provide the children.”

    Caller: *disappointed* “Oh, okay. Bye.”

    Much A-Brew About Nothing

    | Philadelphia, PA, USA | Uncategorized

    (A customer orders a Nestea iced tea, the label of which covers most of the midsection of the bottle.)

    Customer: “Excuse me?”

    Me: “Yes?”

    Customer: “I’ll have you know that this iced tea is a ripoff.”

    Me: “What do you mean?”

    Customer: “Well, I hardly drank any, and the tea is already down to the bottom!”

    (He points to the tea visible at the bottom of the bottle.)

    Customer: “This is an outrage! I demand a refund or a refill.”

    Me: “Sir, just because you can’t see it, it doesn’t mean that it doesn’t exist.”

    Customer: “What the h*** is that supposed to mean?”

    Me: “It means that the rest of the tea is hidden by the label.”

    Customer: “Oh. Thanks.”