October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

Stupidity Is Its Own Reward

| Bethesda, MD, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Do you have your rewards card with you, sir?”

Customer: “Uh, no, I don’t. Do I not get a discount?”

Me: “Of course you still can! What’s your phone number?”

Customer: “How old are you?”

Me: “Seventeen.”

Customer: “You’re not even legal! I can’t do that.”

Me: “Uh, no, sir. I need it to look up for your discount.”

Customer: “Oh…” *tells me his phone number* “…but don’t call me after 5. That’s when my wife gets home.”

One Adapter To Plug Them All

, | Washington, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Good morning, how can I help you?”

Customer: “I need an adapter.”

Me: “Okay, ma’am, what kind of adapter?”

Customer: “You mean there’s more than one?”


| Litchfield, CT | Uncategorized

Me: “Hello, may I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, I was wondering if every creature you have a statue of is actually living?”

Me: “Yes sir, everything you see in here you can find somewhere in the wilderness.”

Customer: “Then why do you have a beaver?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “You heard me. If everything in here is actually a living creature then why do you have beavers?”

Me: “Well sir, beavers are living creatures. Haven’t you ever seen one in the pond down the road?”

Customer: “What? Beavers are real? My whole life I thought they were mythical creatures.”

(The customer walks away, looking lost and confused.)

Too Much Shinformation

| Winkler, MB, Canada | Uncategorized

Me: “Hi there sir, can I find you a size in those jeans?”

Customer: “Yeah, but I’m not sure what size I am.”

Me: “Oh, well–”

Customer: “Wait, I can check!”

(The customer undoes his pants and pulls them down to his knees.)

Customer: “Check! Find the tag! I don’t know where it is, find my size!”

On Shaky Ground With This One

| Los Angeles, CA, USA | Uncategorized

(This happened shortly after a large, widely reported earthquake in Hawaii.)

Me: “How can I be of assistance today?”

Customer: “Yes, I’m interested in traveling to the Big Island in Hawaii.”

Me: “Okay, and do you know which dates you want to travel on?”

Customer: “Oh. Um, well…when does earthquake season end?”

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