Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Go Easy On The Brain
    (1,928 thumbs up)
  • November Theme Of The Month: I Don't Work Here!
    Submit your story today!

    Next Up: Watching Paint Dry

    | Sudbury, ON, Canada |

    Me: “Welcome to *** tech support. How can I help you this morning?”

    Caller: “I keep getting pop-ups to update my computer, but I don’t have internet. I don’t want internet.”

    Me: “Alright. I can show you how to turn off the notifications.” *shows customer*

    Caller: “Thanks. Now, how do I know if my computer is working?”

    Me: “Do you see any error messages?”

    Caller: “No.”

    Me: “Okay, let’s test it out. Can you open a program for me?”

    Caller: ¬†”Um, I don’t know how to do that.”

    Me: “So, you don’t use the computer to play music, games, or to use the word processor?”

    Caller: “No.”

    Me: “What do you use your computer for?”

    Caller: “Well, I just watch it to see what it does.”

    Me: “Oh… is it doing anything right now?”

    Caller: “No.”

    Me: “Then thank you for calling **** tech support. Have a good morning.” *click*

    Shameless

    | Kennewick, WA, USA |

    Customer: “How much is a large popcorn and large drink?”

    Me: “That would come to $11.50.”

    Customer: “S***! That’s f***ing highway robbery, man! How do you sleep at night?”

    Me: “Sir, I work on my feet for 8-hour shifts at minimum wage. I don’t even buy concessions at the movies because they’re so freaking expensive and they don’t pay me enough here to turn around and spend my paycheck back on them.”

    Customer: “Good point. I’ll have a medium popcorn and medium soda, please.”

    Me: “Would you like to up-size those to larges for just 50 cents each?”

    Blue Haired Drug Pushers

    , | Boston, MA, USA |

    (One evening, an elderly irish woman, complete with white hair, a cane, and a heavy accent, comes up to the photo counter to pick up some pictures she dropped off earlier.)

    Customer: “I would like to have a discount on these photos I just printed. Can you give me 5 of the 20 for free?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, we really can’t do that.”

    Customer: “I’ll give you some perks.”

    Me: “Perks?”

    Customer: “Percs. You know… percs.”

    (Customer reaches out to shake my hand and places 3 pills in it.)

    Customer: “Those are good percs, I know you’ll like them!”

    Talking S*** Behind Someone’s Back 101

    | Toronto, ON, Canada |

    Customer: “I need to buy something for my 12 year old niece. I’d like a classic.”

    (I show her the classics.)

    Customer: “Oh! The Little Princess! What’s this about?”

    (I tell her the story.)

    Customer: “Sounds good…” *turns to her daughter* “So honey, we’re buying this for Monica, because she’s a spoiled brat, her parents treat her like a princess, and we want her to learn what it’s like to have nothing! Doesn’t that sound good?”

    The Customer Is Sometimes Right

    | Savannah, GA, USA |

    Customer: “You don’t have any candy apples?”

    Me: “No, ma’am, we only make them on Fridays and they usually sell out before the weekend is over.”

    Customer: “Oh. Do you get that question a lot?”

    Me: “… yes.”

    Customer: “I bet you get sick of it, don’t you? I bet you’re thinking, ‘B***, you see candy apples?’”

    Me: *laughs*

    (Sometimes, the customer is right!)

    Page 1,944/2,192First...1,9421,9431,9441,9451,946...Last