Featured Story:
  • Got A Tip-Off About Grandpa’s Antics
    (2,291 thumbs up)
  • February Theme Of The Month: Hazardous Customers!
    Submit your story today!

    Modern Parks Just Aren’t Cutting It

    | Tennessee, USA |

    (An angry-looking man storms up to me with his camera still around his neck.)

    Customer: “I’d like to file a complaint!”

    Me: “Sorry to hear that sir. What’s the problem?”

    Customer: “Why don’t you call some of your maintenance men to get out in the park and mow the grass?”

    Me: (Assuming he means a lawn area, as this is a national park.) “Where did you mean, sir?”

    (The customer names one of the park’s prime visitation spot, which is famous for its inner fields.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but the grass is kept long to provide habitats and protection for the animals in the park.”

    Customer:”Why the h*** would you do that? Don’t hide them! I paid money to come take pictures of them! The animals are here for me to take pictures of!”

    Wild Accusations

    | Asheville, NC, USA |

    Customer: “I keep seeing a charge for $9.99 on my account. Why do you people keep charging me $9.99?”

    Me: “Sir, that charge is coming not from us, but from GGW.”

    Customer: “What the h*** is GGW? People are stealing my money and you do nothing! So what the h*** is GGW?”

    (I have seen the charge for GGW before. I usually just use the abbreviation to spare the customer.))

    Me: “Sir, GGW stands for Girls Gone–”

    Customer: “Oh yeah. Never mind I remember now…uh…bye.” *click*

    Pajama Drama

    | Ontario, Canada |

    (I am a customer at a 24-hour store at about 3am. I noticed that the store uses the same system at my own store. Since the cashier is new to his job, I am teaching him how to put in coupons when another customer comes up.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, do you work here?”

    Cashier: “Yes? Did you need something?”

    Customer: “No, her.” *points to me*

    Me: “No.”

    Customer: “You’re using the till!”

    Me: “I work at a different grocery store. I’m just helping him out.”

    Customer: “I can’t believe they let you work here in pajamas!”

    Me: “I’m not working right now.”

    Customer: “Where is your manager?”

    Cashier: “He’s asleep.”

    Customer: “So what you guys do is wear pajamas and take naps when there are no customers?”

    Me: “Well, of course.”

    Customer: “Oh. Okay!”

    Logic That Doesn’t Hold Water

    | Green Brook, NJ, USA |

    (I recently sold a pool to an elderly customer. Right after the installers leave, she calls the store.)

    Customer: “Hi, may I speak with [me]?”

    Me: “This is [me], how may I help you?”

    Customer: “I just had my pool installed today.”

    Me: “Oh yes, how did everything go? Are you satisfied with the job?”

    Customer: “Yes everything is perfect, but I was wondering what box the water came in? I think the delivery men may have forgotten it.”

    Lack Of Common Sense Can Get you Fired

    | New Zealand |

    (We monitor intruder and fire/smoke alarms. After activation, all fire/smoke alarms need to be manually restored by a user code.)

    Me: “Hello, this is [name] from [company] calling. Am I speaking with [contact name]?”

    Customer: “Yes.”

    Me: “We had a smoke alarm activation earlier today, and as per the instructions on your file we advised the fire service to attend. They found nothing wrong, but I’m calling to advise you that the smoke alarm needs to be reset.”

    Customer: “You had a smoke alarm?”

    Me: “That’s right.”

    Customer: “And you sent the fire service?”

    Me: “That’s right.”

    Customer: “What the h*** did you do that for?”

    Me: “Because those are the instructions we have on file, sir.”

    Customer: “You should have sent a patrol! This is ridiculous!”

    (Note that standard patrol response time is around 45mins, depending on various factors including traffic.)

    Me: “Sir, if there was a confirmed fire on site, there wouldn’t be much a patrol could do.”

    Customer: “They could have called the fire service!”

    Page 1,944/2,563First...1,9421,9431,9441,9451,946...Last