November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Putting The Spa In Spay

| Corona, CA, USA | Uncategorized

(A customer brings in his dog for a spay.)

Customer: “While she’s out, can you trim her nails? They’re getting real long.”

Me: “Of course, sir. We give all patients under anesthesia a complimentary nail trim.”

Customer: “Oh, you do? Would you give me a free pedicure, too?”

Me: “Uhm…”

Customer: “How about a massage?”

Innocence Lost

| Cape Cod | Uncategorized

Me: “[Company], how can I help you?”

Caller: “Yea, I need you guys to work on my car’s transmission. How much?”

Me: “Ma’am, we don’t work on cars here, we print things.”

Caller: “But…but I Googled [company] and I got you guys.”

Me: “I’m sorry, Google was wrong. I don’t know how we got on there.”

Caller: “But I Googled you! You have to do it!”

Me: “Ma’am, we have copiers here, not a garage. Try the yellow pages?”

Caller: *sounding very betrayed* “I can’t believe I Googled you.”

This Is Why We’re In A Recession

| Wisconsin, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Your total is $**.**.”

(The customer hands me card, I run it and hand it back to her.)

Customer: “Oh, no! That’s my debit card! I don’t have any money in my account. It’s going to be declined.”

Me: “Well, your purchase went through.”

Customer: “Oh, well, if it went through, that means I have enough money in my account.”

Me: “Well, not necessarily. My brother got himself into a lot of debt by using his cards after he’d reached his limit.”

Customer: “You mean I could still use this card even if there’s no money in the account?”

Me: “It’s possible, but I’m not familiar with your bank system.”

Customer: *to friend* “Do you want to go to the nail salon?”

There’s No Pills Like Home, Part 2

| New Jersey, USA | Uncategorized

(My phone number is 1 number off a nearby pharmacy. We get a lot of misdials. My father happens to actually be a pharmacist but he doesn’t work there.)

Me: “Hello?”

Caller: “Hello? You just say Hello? How dare you be so rude! You should say “thank you for calling”!”

Me: “Oh, you must be looking for [pharmacy]. You have the wrong number.”

Caller: “Liar! How would you know what store I’m looking for? You’re just trying not to get in trouble. Give me your manager.”

Me: “Ma’am, I don’t have a manager. You’ve called a private residence. The number for the pharmacy is close to our number, so we get a lot of wrong calls.”

Caller: “This is outrageous! Give me your manager! I will not be treated this way!”

(At this point the caller was rambling and being rude so I hung up the phone. She called back, and my father answered it.)

Father: “Hello?”

Caller: “Is this the manager? Thank god! I want to know if [drug] can be taken with food! And you should fire that girl that answered before, she was very rude to me! I want to file a complaint!”

Father: “Ma’am, this is not the grocery store pharmacy. You just told off my 14-year old daughter. I happen to be a pharmacist. That drug does not need to be taken with food. However, you should see a doctor about your ears, as you clearly can’t hear a word anyone says.”

There’s No Pills Like Home

A-B-C, Easy As D-U-H

| Massachusetts, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “Hey, can you help me find this book?”

Me: “Sure.”

(He holds up a piece of paper with the title and author of a book on it. I find it on the shelves and hand it to him.)

Customer: “Thanks! How’d you do that so fast?”

Me: “Well, I’ve worked here awhile, and the books are all in alphabetical order by author’s name.”

Customer: “What do you mean?”

Me: “Alphabetical order. Like the alphabet song? You know, A’s before B’s?”

(He looks confused, but then widens his eyes.)

Customer: “The letters actually go in that order? I thought that song was just to remember them all!”