July Theme Of The Month: Great Timing!

Customers To Keep You On Your Toes

| Dallas, TX, USA | Family & Kids, School, Uncategorized

(My husband and I inherited a dance studio from his mother and we’re both full-time teachers there. Naturally, our five-year-old spends a lot of time with us at the studio. Her father and I were playing "Swan Lake" with her one day in one of the dance studios after all the classes were over when a mother and her daughter came in.)

Customer: “Excuse me!”

Me: “Can I help you? Classes are over for the day.”

Customer: “I would like to organize one-on-one private lessons with you for my daughter.”

Me: “I’m sorry, we don’t do private lessons.”

Customer: “So why is he teaching that little girl how to do a lift?”

Me: “That’s our daughter. He’s not teaching her anything, he’s just picking her up. We were playing a game.”

Customer: “I demand you give my child private lessons!”

Me: “Ma’am, I’ve just told you, we don’t do that here.”

Customer: “She’s been in your class for two years!”

Me: “Yes, I know.”

Customer: “That little girl isn’t even old enough to be in your class.”

Me: “No, she’s not, but she’s my daughter. She’s been exposed to ballet since she was a baby.”

Customer: “So has my child! She knows culture!”

Me: “I understand, ma’am, but I just can’t give her private lessons.”

Customer: “Why are you letting her do it, then?”

Me: “Ma’am, I’ve told you already, she’s my daughter. She gets private lessons with me whether she likes it or not. We live together.”

Customer: “So if I send my daughter to live with you, will you teach her?”

Me: “Ma’am, you can’t send your daughter to live with us.”

My Daughter: “Mommy! Look at me!”

Customer: “Oh, she really is your daughter? I thought you were lying. See you tomorrow for class!”

No Vocation For Location, Part 2

| Huntsville, AL, USA | Tourists/Travel, Uncategorized

Customer: “Yes I am wondering why I got hit with roaming charges in the Bahamas?”

Me: “Well, because your plan offers you coverage in the United States and outside of it there are roaming charges.”

Customer: “Well I never got these charges in Puerto Rico!”

Me: “That’s because Puerto Rico is part of the US.”

Customer: “But it takes me longer to get there!”

Related:
No Aptitude For Latitude, Part 2
No Vocation For Location
No Fortitude For Longitude, Part 4
No Fortitude For Longitude, Part 3
No Fortitude For Longitude, Part 2
No Fortitude For Longitude
No Aptitude For Latitude

What Would Jesus Discount?

| Nova Scotia, Canada | Liars & Scammers, Religion, Uncategorized

(Three teenagers come up to my register to buy some CD cases.)

Me: “And that comes to $10.33.”

Teenager: “What if my dad was the Prime Minister?”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Teenager: “What if he came in, and said it was $5?”

Me: “It would still be $10.33?”

(He seems to think this over for a minute.)

Teenager: “Well, what if he was the government?! Then what?”

Me: “The price would still be $10.33.”

Teenager: “Okay, so then, what if Jesus himself came into the store, and came up to you, and said it was $5?”

Me: “Well, Jesus would still have to pay full price. Which is $10.33.”

Teenager: “If Jesus was here, you’d be going to h***!”

Military Discount Can Save An Arm And A Leg

| Sicklerville, NJ, USA | At The Checkout, Health & Body, Money, Uncategorized

Customer: “Now don’t forget my military discount!”

Me: “Do you have a military ID, sir?”

Customer: “Sure do.”

(He starts digging through his wallet and doesn’t immediately find it.)

Customer: “I can also show you my scars from Vietnam!”

Me: “Just the ID will do fine.”

Tip Top

| Atlanta, GA, USA | At The Checkout, Uncategorized

(I am working as a cashier and an elderly lady comes in through my line.)

Old Lady: "Honey, you are always so nice to everybody. I bet no one ever does anything for you!"

Me: "Thank you! But that’s not true."

(I put the groceries in the cart for her, but she still stands by my register.)

Me: "Did you need anything else?"

Old Lady: "Here, you just take this as a lil’ thank-you from me!"

(She thrusts a couple of dollars at me. Mind you, there are cameras at every register and we aren’t allowed to take tips.)

Me: "I’m sorry, ma’am, but I can’t accept that. We don’t take tips."

Old Lady: "Take it, please!"

Me: "No, I really–"

Old Lady: "TAKE IT!"

(She then opens up my work shirt, puts the money inside, closes it, and pats my chest down.)

Old Lady: "Now you have a nice day!"

(There are guys from my college behind her and I’m red as a beet.)

One of the guys: "Heh heh, and how are you doin’?"

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