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    Your Prank Got Spanked, Part 2

    | Richmond, VA, USA | Top

    Me: “Thank you for calling [hotel], this is John speaking, how can I help you?

    Caller: “I’m trying to get in contact with Mike Hunt.”

    (I check the guest list to make sure we don’t actually have a Michael Hunt staying with us.)

    Me: “Yes, Mr. Hunt is sharing a room with I.P. Freely, and he asked me to give you a message: he said to not call here again until you can come up with something a little more original, you pathetic losers.”

    Caller: *hangs up*

    Related:
    Your Prank Got Spanked

    Violence On TV, Stupidity On The Couch

    | Atlanta, GA, USA |

    (A video rental customer approaches with two young children.)

    Customer: “Hey, you guys seen Con Air?”

    Me: “Yeah.”

    Customer: “Why’s it rated R?”

    Me: “Well, the language is pretty strong, but it’s primarily because of the violence.”

    Customer: “Oh. Well, does it have any sex in it?”

    Me: “Um, not that I recall.”

    Customer: “Okay, great. Hey kids, we’re getting Con Air!”

    Racists: At Least Get Your Countries Straight

    | Stockholm, Sweden |

    (I am a student in Sweden and I just finished making a transaction for a nice Japanese couple at a tourist center. Another tourist comes up.)

    Me, in Swedish: “Can I help you?”

    Customer, in English: “Sure, can you tell me about…” *mumbles*

    Me, in English: “Can you repeat that, please?”

    Customer: “Shut up! Don’t you dare mock me! You can’t speak American, you Chino!”

    Me: “I’m Russian.”

    Customer: “Well, you still can’t speak American!”

    Me: “I was raised in the UK. And it’s called English.”

    Customer: *storms out*

    Boss: “What the f*** was that about?!”

    Speak For Yourself

    | Columbus, OH, USA |

    Customer: “Excuse me!”

    Me: “How can I help you, sir?”

    Customer: “My wife sent me in here to pick up some chestnut brown and I can’t find it.”

    Me: “Okay, is that makeup or hair color?”

    Customer: “I don’t know, she just said chestnut brown.”

    Me: “Do you happen to remember the brand name?”

    Customer: “No! She just said chestnut brown. Weren’t you listening?”

    Me: “Well, it sounds like hair dye to me. Let’s have a look.”

    (We both go to the hair coloring aisle and I start to look through every shade in every brand. The man does not help at all; it takes me ten minutes.)

    Me: “Here you go sir, this is Garnier Hair Color, chestnut brown.”

    Customer: “Are you sure that’s it? I don’t want to go home and have to come back.”

    Me: “You could call your wife and ask her.”

    Customer: “She’s not at home. Oh wait, hold on.”

    (He pulls a piece of paper from his pocket and begins to read it.)

    Customer: “Yep, Garnier chestnut brown. That’s it!”

    Me: “Sir, no offense, but you could have saved us a lot of time by reading that note in the first place.”

    Customer: “That’s the problem with this country, nobody wants to work anymore!”

    Me: “Yeah, that’s our problem.”

    Thank God For Better Halves

    | Calgary, AB, Canada |

    (An older customer calls in for tech support with his satellite receiver.)

    Me: “Okay, your signal strength is pretty good.”

    Customer: “Right.”

    Me: “Let’s just verify all your channels are coming in.”

    Customer: “Okay.”

    Me: “Can you please put it on channel 400?”

    Customer: “No problem, hold on.” *dials 4-0-0 into the telephone*

    Customer’s wife: “Give me that!”

    (She gets control of the phone.)

    Customer’s wife: *laughing* “So sorry, he’s such an idiot!”

    Related:
    Take A Guess Who The Better Half Is

    Also seen on: Not Always Romantic.

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