November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

In Search Of Common Law And Common Sense

| Phoenix, AZ, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “This is [law firm], how can I help you?”

Customer: “Are you located on the fifth floor?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “Well, I am on the fifth floor and there are no offices here.”

Me: “There are three law firms on the fifth floor, ma’am. We are the one all the way to the right of the elevator.”

Customer: “No, there are no offices on this floor. It’s totally open. And, its hot.”

Me: “Hot?”

Customer: “Yeah, its hot. I think you gave me the wrong address.”

(Verifies address, customer has the correct address.)

Customer: “Well, its just an open floor. I got out of my car up here and there’s no office.”

Me: “Are you… are you on the fifth floor of the parking garage?”

(My office window looks out at the roof (fifth) level of the parking garage. Sure enough there is a women on her cell phone pacing around the roof level of the parking garage.)

Customer: “You told me to go to the fifth floor.”

Me: “Of the office building, ma’am, not of the parking garage.”

Unaware Of My Space

| Waterloo, Canada | Uncategorized

(It is a few minutes after closing time and we lock the door. Moments later I hear the sound of breaking glass. I rush over and see a woman on the ground surrounded by glass. She had tried to walk through the door and broke it.)

Me: “Miss, are you alright?! Are you hurt anywhere?”

Customer: “No! No…I think I’m fine.”

Me: “Miss, let me show you somewhere to sit while we wait for security and the ambulance.”

Customer: “No! I don’t have time d*** it! I have to go write this in my blog!” *runs off*

Got Brains?

| Virginia, USA | Uncategorized

(I am offering free ‘Got Milk?’ samples at a state fair.)

Me: “Hello, ma’am. Would you like to try some milk?”

Customer: “No way! I don’t drink that kind of milk!”

Me: “What do you mean, ‘That kind of milk’?”

(The customer points to my sign.)

Customer: “Goat milk!”

(Role) Playing The Fool

| Winnipeg, Canada | Uncategorized

(A customer asks me to tell him about the store and what we sell. I point out the board games, miniatures and card games, but he doesn’t perk up until I mention a well-known table top fantasy RPG.)

Customer: “What’s that?”

Me: “It’s a role-playing game. You get some people together, make characters and play out what they do on adventures.”

Customer: “Is there a game going on right now?”

Me: “Well, no. You need to get people together and organize.”

Customer: “I’m only in town for three days.”

Me: “Yeah, it’s really a sit-down game. It takes a long time to play.”

Customer: “Where do I go?”

Me: “It’s a game you play with friends.”

Customer: “I mean for a dungeon. You know, role-play?”

Me: “I don’t…” *light bulb goes off* “Oh! This has nothing to do with that.”

Customer: “Do you know where I could go to find it?”

Me: “No! I don’t know anything about that!”

Customer: “But I’m only in town for three days!”

Me: “I can’t help you. Excuse me.”

(The customer wanders around a little longer, then asks about a poster we have for a live-action game with a picture of an immodestly-dressed woman on it.)

Customer: “What’s that?”

Me: “That’s an ad for a live-action role-playing game. People get dressed up in costumes and play.”

Customer: *very excited* “Can I meet her?”

Me: “What? No.”

Customer: “But I’m only in town for three days!”

Brain On Recess

| Saskatchewan, Canada | Uncategorized

(I am helping a customer apply for financing to purchase some items.)

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. Your application was denied.”

Customer: “Wow. I really didn’t expect that.”

Me: “Well, they’re a lot stricter with who they give credit to because of the recession.”

Customer: “The what?”

Me: “The recession.”

(Customer looks very confused.)

Me: “Hundreds of people foreclosed on their houses. The government had to pay billions of dollars to bail out the banks.”

Customer: *shrugging shoulders* “Hmm. Well, I must have missed that!”