Phoney Request

| Calgary, BC, Canada | Uncategorized

(Our store phone rings. A customer answers it before I can get to it.)

Customer: “Hello?”

Me: “I’m sorry, that is the store phone. Please hand it over to me.”

Customer: “Go away! I’m trying to have a conversation here!”

(I step forward to take the phone away. I hear talking from the other end of the phone.)

Caller: “Why, hello there! Can I order some tampons, some birth control pills, and a thong?”

(Both the customer and caller are male. The customer gets embarrassed and thrusts the phone into my hands.)

Me: “Sorry about that, sir. What would you like?”

Caller: “Oh good, that idiot’s gone. Do you have any Metallica CDs in stock?”

Cut Throat Business

| BC, Canada | Uncategorized

(A customer brings in his computer for service. While discussing his options, I mistakenly refer to a service that is twice as expensive as what he actually needs. He chooses a lesser service, signs his computer in, and leaves. After realizing the mistake, I find him still in the store.)

Me: “Sir, I just wanted to let you know that I misquoted the service, and we can actually do what you originally wanted, for the same price as the lesser service. I’m very sorry for the mistake.”

Customer: “Ah, that’s great! I’m glad I didn’t listen to the voice in my head.”

Me: “I’m sorry? What do you mean?”

Customer: “The voice told me to rip your throat out when you told me the first price.”

Me: *nervous laughter* “Well now you get the service you originally wanted, and I get to keep my throat.”

Customer: *narrows eyes* “For now, yes.”

Education Is Wasted On The Young

| Ohio, USA | Uncategorized

(A number comes across the screen with the same area code as my hometown.)

Me: “Hi, this is [name]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “I was wondering if you could give me the number for the store in [town]. I live over in [town I grew up in].”

Me: “Sure thing. So you live in [town]? I grew up there. I just graduated in ’06.”

Customer: “Oh wow! What a small world! I graduated in ’82.”

Me: “That’s awesome. Okay, that number is [number].”

Customer: “Thanks! Wow, 1906…that’s incredible.”

Me: “Ma’am, I graduated in 2006, not 1906.”

Customer: “Oh, no wonder you sound so young!”

Gives New Meaning To Family Tree

| Pennsylvania, USA | Uncategorized

(I work as an educator in a native American village. I am with a group of pre-schoolers.)

Me: “Believe it or not, the Lenape used to tie their babies to a board and hang them in a tree so the foxes wouldn’t get them!”

Child 1: “Do they still do that?”

Me: “No, they live just like we do today and don’t need to.”

Child 2: “That’s not true. My mommy and daddy tie me to trees when they get mad.”

Inn-Experienced Guest, Part 2

| Saint John, NB, Canada | Uncategorized

Guest: “So, is this hotel open 24 hours?”

Me: “Yes, it is.”

Guest: “Really?”

Me: “Yes, otherwise we would have to kick everyone out at 11 pm so we could go home.”

Related:
Inn-Experienced Guest

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