November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

A Not So Bitter End

| Spokane, WA, USA | Top

Customer: “Are you in charge of the salad bar?”

Me: “Of course. I make sure all the food is fresh. Was something wrong?”

Customer: “Your dressings are too sweet!”

Me: “We buy our dressings pre-packaged, but it is possible that something went wrong somewhere along the way. Which one was it?”

Customer: “The dressing!”

Me: “They are all too sweet?”

Customer: “Were you born simple? The dressing is sweet!”

Me: “Is it red, orange, white, or brown?”

Customer: “The brown one is too sweet!”

Me: “That’s the balsamic vinaigrette. It shouldn’t be sweet at all, but I will pull it and put out a new container of dressing for you.”

Customer: “Thank you! Was that so difficult?”

(I begin to pull the only brown dressing we have and she stops me.)

Customer: “My God, you are such an idiot! You’re pulling the wrong d*** dressing!”

Me: “You said the brown dressing, right? I am pulling the brown dressing like you asked.”

Customer: “Not that dressing, you idiot, this brown dressing. You are so stupid!” *points*

Me: “You mean the chocolate pudding?”

Of Breath Smoke And Breast Strokes

| Asheville, NC, USA | Uncategorized

(A customer with children in tow tries to book a smoking room, but we are sold out.)

Customer’s kids: “We want to go swimming!”

Customer: “They don’t have any smoking rooms, and I gotta smoke. We have to go somewhere else.”

Customer’s kids: “Can’t you just go outside and smoke?”

Customer: “It’s snowing outside! Oh, you’d like it if I had to go out in the cold and snow just so you could go swimming, wouldn’t you?”

Me: “I can call the motel next door for you and see if they have any smoking rooms available.”

Customer’s kids: “But they have an indoor pool here! We want to go in the pool!”

Customer: “That’s all you do, isn’t it? All you do is think about yourself! I gotta smoke!”

Ask Her To Close All Windows Next

| South Carolina, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Can you get online?”

Customer: “How do you do that?”

Me: “Do you see Internet Explorer?”

Customer: “Where do I see that?”

Me: “It should be on your desktop.”

Customer: *rustling papers* “I don’t see it on my desk anywhere. Are you sure it is here?”

Decoration: Unknown

| Burnaby, BC, Canada | Uncategorized

(I’m contacting a customer because they’ve neglected to write down the postal code for their delivery address.)

Me: “Hello, this is [warehouse]. I was wondering if you could provide me with the postal code so that I can get this order delivered to you.”

Customer: *sighs* “You really need that?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer:  “Oh. I thought it was just a decoration.”

At Least They Enjoyed The Spew

| Cumming, GA, USA | Uncategorized

(I’m doing exit greetings to the leaving guests and a woman walks out with her son.)

Woman: “Just to let you know, my son threw up in there.”

Me: “Oh…okay, ma’am. Thanks for letting me know.”

Woman: “Oh, don’t worry about it. It’s fine. I pushed most of it under the seat anyway.”