October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

Not Quite Three-Thinking

| Brisbane, Australia | Uncategorized

(We have the top ten DVD’s on a wall. We use an empty case with a number on it to show where each film is ranked in the top ten. A man walks up and puts the number ‘3’ case on the counter.)

Customer: “I’d like hire this.”

Me: “This isn’t a movie. Star Trek is currently ranked number 3. Would you like to rent that?”

Customer: “No, I don’t want Star Trek! I want this one!”

Me: “Sorry, that is just an empty case that we use to show our top ten rentals, it isn’t a film. If you’d like to rent one of our top ten make sure you grab one of the take home cases behind the display cases.”

(The man seems to catch on, returns to the shelf and walks back with one of the generic DVD cases we use to chock up the number ‘3’ case so it sits flush with the other DVDs).

Customer: “There! Now will you let me rent it?”

Makes You Want To Dye A Little

| St. Louis, MO, USA | Top

Customer: “How much is it to make copies?”

Me: “It’s ten cents a page for black and white and fifty cents a page for color.”

Customer: “You can make color copies?”

Me: “Sure. Just make sure you choose ‘color’ before you start copying.”

(The patron goes to the copy machine, and comes back a few minutes later.)

Customer: “It’s not working. I’m only getting black and white.”

Me: “Okay. Let me see if I can figure out what’s going on.”

(I notice the patron is trying to copy something that is entirely black and white.)

Me: “Oh, I see. To get a color copy, the original does need to be in color.”

Customer: “The machine won’t put the color back in?”

Misundertanding Basic Printables

| Nevada, USA | Uncategorized

Caller: “Can you add a button to that page?”

Me: “Sure, but you need to be more specific. What do you want it to do?”

Caller: “Can it make the user press ‘File’, ‘Print’?”

Me: “Not exactly. I can get it to the print dialog though.”

Caller: “But it can’t press ‘File’ and then ‘Print’?”

Me: “Are you asking for a button that prints the page?”

Caller: “No! I want the button to press the file menu button, then select print for them.”

Me: “This is a website. You want me to control a user’s mouse?”

Caller: “Is that really so hard to do?”

Natural Selection At Work

| Apple Valley, MN, USA | Uncategorized

(I am in concessions and a customer comes up bleeding pretty good.)

Customer: “Hi, I was wondering where your first aid station is?”

Me: “It is that gazebo right over there.”

(I point to a gazebo about 30 feet away.)

Customer: “Uh…where is it?”

Me: “The gazebo right over there. The hut that has the ‘First Aid’ sign hanging on it.”

Customer: “Oh, okay.”

(He walks half way over to the station but stops and looks at the hand sanitizer on a post for a couple seconds but then comes back.)

Customer: “Okay, where is this place?”

Me: “It is the hut right over there. It’s about 20 feet away from you.”

Customer: “Well, I don’t see it.”

Me: “Would you like me to walk you over there?”

Customer: *pauses to think* “Nah, I’ll just let the chlorine stop the bleeding…” *starts walking away*

Me: “Sir! You can’t bleed like that in a pool!”

A Burning Question

| Sheffield, UK | Sheffield, UK | Uncategorized

(The fire alarm has gone off. The fire department have arrived and the whole building is evacuated. A customer attempts to enter.)

Me: “Excuse me, the store is closed due to a fire.”

Customer: “I only want a couple of things.”

Me: “There is a fire. We have evacuated the building.” *points to scared looking customers and employees*

Customer: “I only want bread an milk.”

Me: “The building is on fire! I’m sorry, sir, but we will be unlikely to serve anyone until tomorrow!”

Customer: “Oh! Does that mean the fresh vegetables are on offer?” *tries to push past me*

Me: “No. Nothing is on offer at all because the store is closed.”

(At this point more customers are arriving.)

Customer #2: “So we can’t even pay? Those people got sent home with their stuff for free!” *points to customers loading their cars with stolen goods*

Me: “No, they have stolen those things. They have been caught on camera, and they will be prosecuted when the emergency is over.”

Customer #2: “Oh, so I can get my stuff for free?”

Original customer: “Does that mean it’s free if we eat it all tonight?”

Me: “No. Wait…what?”

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