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    The Danger With Rhetorical Questions

    | Dallas, TX, USA |

    Me: “Thank you for calling ******, how can I help you?”

    Customer: “I am in the back office and someone told me that we were supposed to be able to use wireless keyboards, so I cut the cable.”

    Me: “You… cut the cable?”

    Customer: “Yes, and now it doesn’t work.”

    Me: “You cut the cable on your keyboard, and now it doesn’t work?”

    Customer: “Yes”

    Me: “You’re going to have to buy a new keyboard.”

    Customer: “Why? I was told we could use wireless keyboards.”

    Me: “That is not a wireless keyboard.”

    Customer: “Yes it is.”

    Me: “Just because you cut the cord does not make it wireless.”

    Customer: “Can’t you just make it work?”

    Me: “Does your phone have a cable?”

    Customer: “Yes.”

    Me: “If you cut it, do you think your phone will work?”

    Customer: *line disconnects after 20 seconds of silence*

    Wherever You Go, There You Are

    | Bar Harbor, ME, USA |

    Customer: “Can you tell me how to get to Mount Desert Island?”

    Me: “Ma’am, we’re on Mount Desert Island right now.”

    Customer: “But, can you drive there?”

    Me: “… Yes… remember that bridge you had to cross to get here?”

    Customer: “Yeah.”

    Me: “Okay, just head back that way, and when you cross the bridge, make a u-turn and come back.”

    Customer’s husband: *laughs*

    Why It Pays To Be Nice

    | The Netherlands |

    Me: “Good Afternoon, How may i help you?”

    Customer: “I got my order today but you guys have billed something for 12 euro instead of 10 euro.”

    Me: “I see that the calendar has been charged for 12 euro. What should it have been?”

    Customer: “10 euro. The card says you pay 10 euro if its the third item you purchased out of the catalogue.”

    Me: “Ma’am I can only see you purchased one item out of the catalogue. The other item was the special offer we gave on the phone so that is why the calendar cost 12 instead of 10 euro.”

    Customer: “But they told me that i could get it for 10 euro! If I don’t, then cancel my whole subscription!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I unfortunately cannot do anything about this. Those are the rules and they are clearly written on the card, as you can see.”

    Customer: “Okay, fine then. I will pay the d*** bill and you can cancel my subscription!”

    Me: “Alright, ma’am. I canceled the subscription. Have a nice day.”

    Customer: “Bye!” *click*

    Manager: “If she had stayed polite to you, we would have changed it for her, you know?”

    Me: “Yeah, I know.”

    Even Managers Have A Stupid Quota

    | United Kingdom |

    (A young, angry-looking woman is standing at the pharmacy counter with a small pile of white sticks.)

    Me: “How can I help you?”

    Customer: “Yeah, these pregnancy tests are all faulty. I want a refund.”

    Me: “Okay. So, what happened? Were they broken or missing pieces?”

    Customer: “No, they keep saying positive. I’m not pregnant.”

    Me: “Um… okay. So, if you’re not pregnant, then why get the tests?”

    Customer: “Get your manager!”

    Me: *gets manager*

    Manager: “What’s the problem?”

    (I wander off at this point, called into the vitamins section. When I come back, security is taking the woman out of the store.)

    Me: “What the…?”

    Manager: “Twit. She just wanted her money back. I hope she has twins that cause a LOT of pain and are ugly. REAL ugly… and poop a lot!”

    Even Bosses Have A Stupid Quota

    Gotta Love Them Regulars

    , | Cottage Grove, MN, USA |

    (This very friendly woman come in 3-4 days a week, and I am usually the one who winds up taking her money at the window.)

    Me: ¬†”Hi, it’ll be two dollars.”

    Customer: ¬†”Oh, you got your braces off! They look so nice!”

    Me: ¬†”Oh… thank you!”

    Customer: ¬†”And you got your hair cut!”

    Me: ¬†”Yes, I did!”

    Customer: ¬†”… I come here a little too often, don’t I?”

    Why (Good) Regulars Really Rock

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