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  • May Theme Of The Month: Movie Mayhem!

    They Cry Real Tears Too

    | Keene, NH, USA | Extra Stupid, Uncategorized

    (I watch as a customer unfolds every single shirt at a table, holds it up, and then puts it back. She walks to the next table and I begin refolding the shirts.)

    Customer: “Oh, wow!”

    Me: “Is something wrong, ma’am?”

    Customer: “No, nothing. I just didn’t realize they got real people to fold the shirts!”

    Empty Cans, Even Emptier Stomachs

    | Ontario, Canada | Religion, Uncategorized

    (My friends and I are going door to door collecting cans for a food drive at our church.)

    Me: “Hello, we are collecting cans of food for [church]. Would you like to donate?”

    Teenage Girl: “So you guys take cans. What about pop cans?”

    Me: “No, we only take canned foods.”

    Teenage Girl: “Are you sure? I have some pop cans I don’t need.”

    Me: “No, we only accept canned foods.”

    Teenage Girl: “Okay, I’ll be right back.”

    (The girl closes the door and bangs around inside for a couple minutes. Then she opens the door with a handful of cans.)

    Teenage Girl: “Here are the cans. I grabbed some pop cans too.”

    (We look at the cans she gave us, and realize that they are all empty.)

    Teenage Girl: *to her mom* “I took out the recycling, Mom!”

    PEBCAK, Episode IV

    | Connecticut, USA | Technology, Uncategorized

    (The head of a department wants her word processor upgraded to the latest version.)

    Manager: *on phone* “Okay, I’ll send Jeff over to upgrade you. Please back up all your documents, because he’s going to delete the existing version and install the new one.”

    (I go to her office.)

    Me: “Hi, I’m here to upgrade [word processor] for you. Have you backed up your documents?”

    Customer: “Of course I have.”

    Me: “Great!”

    (I wipe out the existing directory and install the new version. A few minutes before I get back to the faculty computing center, the phone rings.)

    Customer: on phone “Where are all my letters and papers? They’re all gone!”

    Manager: “Jeff says you backed up your documents.”

    Customer: “Well, I didn’t know what you guys meant by that. I didn’t want to look stupid, so I said yes.”

    Related:
    PEBCAK, Episode III
    PEBCAK, Episode II
    Problem Exists Between Chair And Keyboard

    The Frozen Wastes

    | Canada | Food & Drink, Rude & Risque, Top

    Customer: “Hello dear. Could you tell me where the bathrooms are?”

    Me: “Towards the back of the restaurant, behind the bar.”

    Customer: “Thank you.”

    (The customer goes away for a time and comes to find me later.)

    Customer: “Thank you again, dear, but you may want to change your bathroom decor. It looks a lot like a freezer.”

    Me: “Ma’am, our bathrooms look nothing like a freezer. They are normal bathrooms.”

    Customer: “Oh dear…”

    I Can’t Hear Myself Think, Part 2

    | Ottawa, ON, Canada | Books & Reading, Musical Mayhem, Uncategorized

    (Our store plays soft, acoustic music over the speakers. An old man approaches me angrily.)

    Customer: “Your music is too loud!”

    Me: “Pardon?”

    Customer: “Your music is too loud. I can’t read!”

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. Most people like it.”

    Customer: “You shouldn’t be playing music in a bookstore! It should be like a library!”

    (He storms off, yelling over his shoulder.)

    Customer: “I don’t come in here to buy things, I come in here to read! It should be like a library!”

    Related:
    I Can’t Hear Myself Think

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