Military In-Action

| USA | Books & Reading

(I work in the library at one of the Military Academies. As such, 90% of our students are military members, all in uniform. A student walks in immediately following me as I unlock the doors.)

Me: “We don’t open until 7:30.”

Student: “But I need to print something out.”

Me: “The printers aren’t on yet, and have no paper in them. Come back at 7:30.”

Student: “Not even for your country!?”

Me: “No…”

Not Getting The Picture

| Melbourne, Australia | Technology

(I work in the IT department, on part of the university’s website.)

Customer: “Can you help me? I tried to print out this webpage, and none of the images showed up!”

Me: “Sounds like it might be a problem with your printer.”

Customer: “Is it because the images are stuck inside the internet and the printer can’t get them out?”

Being The President Sucks

| Oklahoma City, OK, USA | Books & Reading, History, Politics

Customer: “Do you have a copy of Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter?”

Me: “I’m not sure, let me check.” *I check our bestsellers section* “No sir, not at this time.”

Customer: “But did you look back in the history section?”

Me: “For Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter?”

Customer: “Yeah.”

Me: “No, I did not.”

Walking Tall, Risking Small

| Dayton, OH, USA | Crazy Requests

Guest: “How do I get to the mall from here?”

Me: “Oh, it’s really easy, sir. You just make a right out of our lot, and you come to a lighted intersection. Go straight through the light and you will be in the mall parking lot.”

Guest: “Alright, then.”

(The guest goes to walk there, and then comes back.)

Guest: “Are there no sidewalks here?”

Me: “Well, no, not really, but there’s a light to protect you. Our roads have really wide shoulders, so there’s plenty of room to walk.”

Guest: “Oh. So you really have to take you life into your hands to walk anywhere here, huh?”

High School Dropouts Work On The Pharm

| Boston, MA, USA | Health & Body, School

(I work as a pharmacy tech at a chain pharmacy. I am also currently in pharmacy school and will be a pharmacist one day.)

Customer: “You should be ashamed of yourself!”

Me: “I’m sorry. Can I help you with something?”

Customer: “No! I refuse to be helped by a high school dropout! You should be ashamed of yourself for working where children can see you! You are going to make them think that it is okay to not have an education!”

Me: “Ma’am, I am not a high school dropout. I have a high school diploma and I am currently in pharmacy school working towards a Doctor of Pharmacy. I am going to be a pharmacist one day.”

Customer: “Stop lying! I have never heard of a pharmacist before. You are a high school dropout!”

Manager: “Can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes! Your employee is lying to me! She says she is going to be a pharmacist! That job doesn’t exist!”

(The manager looks at our pharmacist who is near tears from laughing so hard.)

Manager: “Ma’am, see the man over there? He’s the one who filled your prescription. He is a pharmacist.”

Customer: “No he isn’t! He just counts pills! You don’t need school for that!”

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